Nigeria is a bundle of laugh-a-minute contradictions, especially when we try to discern the pattern of inactivity and indecisions and caterwauling that goes on in the name of governance.

To start with, the whole process that leads to the emergence of those at the apex of power in all tiers of government is so grossly distorted that it cannot be expected to produce anything remotely relevant, meaningful or significant. If anything, the miscreants that are the products of these distortions aptly reflect the shenanigans that produced them – in the words of another writer – they simply are the “ten fingers of a leper”.

Please let me be very clear on the purpose of this musing of mine, as I do not intend to relate to an over flogged, though relevant, issue of how some of these clueless human beings came to be in power in the country. Rather, I just need to bellyache about the lack of a vision or meaningful program of action for the amelioration of the lot of the common Nigerian populace by these set of vagabonds, carpetbaggers and chameleons in the corridors of power.

I had, over the last few years keenly watched the wind of change preparing to blow over Nigeria and had equally pointed out in a previous article in 2007, “Let’s Turn Logic on it’s head” that the wind of change would come from the Niger Delta. Probably, a couple of people would have wondered if I’d gone beyond a couple of drops of palmy when I penned my thoughts then, but the events of the last few days are vindicating my postulations then, “Nigerians can take their own destiny in their own hands”!

The government of Nigeria, under UMYA has capitulated to the MEND, regardless of how they would like to couch the surrender terms. For months, the FGN deployed brute military force on the hapless and helpless people of the Ijaw, whose livelihood and lifestyle are continually destroyed for the sake and benefit of buttering the bread of a corrupt and thieving elite in the country. I know, at this point some might be tempted to label these parasites as Northerners, but I beg to differ! The parasites come from all our villages and each and every one of us must surely know of one (a parasite) who is not necessarily a Northerner. But I digress!

I had wondered, lower lip hanging out to rest on my chest, why the average political thug, recruited from the generality of the common Nigerian masses would continue to be satisfied with the crumbs given to them by corrupt politicians who wants to steal mandates, when the very act denies them the feast that is duly theirs. When that watershed incident occurred in October 2007, I was so joyous that the actions, or inaction, of UMYA was inevitably going to unleash the sleeping giant that is the Nigerian masses. Indeed, I hailed UMYA as the Nigerian Joshua!

Do you remember these fateful words uttered by our own inimitable UMYA?

“Central to this attitudinal change is the concept of leadership. If you are elected to a political office, it provides the opportunity to become a leader, you have a clear responsibility and the way you handle it will determine whether you are a leader. If you abuse your office in any form, you will not deserve to be called a leader at the end of your tenure,” he said.

Yar’Adua told a packed audience comprising international investors, the diplomatic corps, bankers, businessmen, energy experts and others from all works of life that his administration was setting up the legislative framework and the necessary regulations to change a system which hitherto celebrated corrupt and uncommitted public servants and politicians.

The absence of sanctions, he noted, aids and abates a corrupt system coupled with the breakdown of law and order.

The President said he was confident that Nigerians had reached a consensus on the way forward in Nigeria.

The decisions that have so far been taken by the populace, he said, were absolute respect for the rule of law, lack of tolerance for corruption, good governance and democracy.” Culled from ThisDay, 26/09/07.

Of course, UMYA takes Nigerians for unintelligent reprobates and was double speaking from the other corner of his mouth. He had assumed, wrongly, that the Nigerian masses are so deluded and impoverished to the point that he failed to recognise and accept that youths of every generation always herald the changes for the larger society. Perhaps, he was so conceited that he failed to read the handwriting on the wall when able bodied young men and women, with university degrees to boot, started to take up arms against the injustice they see daily on their own doorsteps!

Probably, he assumed that continuously doling out state largesse to those who should educate the rest of the society to the larger ills of demanding accountability from its rulers would placate the situation. Indeed, as long as these charlatans continue to write and pontificate on the infallibility of the politicians, and the gullibility of the masses, things would continue to be ok in the body polity called Nigeria – or so, he and his ilk thought!

Well, Mr President UMYA, I dare say, the joke is on you and your cohort.

The sleeping giant is awake. The MEND has successfully exposed your underbelly and the weakness of your interests by its actions in sabotaging the supply of crude oil as the lifeblood of corruption in Nigeria. I was rather amused by the loud protestations coming from your Minister and the legislative houses upon learning that the strategic reserve of fuel in an oil-producing country such as Nigeria is only adequate fro 15 days of local consumption! I was further entertained by the knee jerk reactions of the lawless law (breakers) makers seeking to understand at the eleventh hour how we got to this state of impasse.

But guess what, it is even more hilarious to see the executhieves at Aso Rock quickly releasing all previously incarcerated militants previously detained because of the imbroglio at the Niger Delta area. Suddenly, Orkah is no longer a criminal under the ruse of law, suddenly, Nigeria has to consort with the governments of Angola over its own internal matters. Interestingly, Asari-Dokubo, Tompolo, Boy Loaf et al would now be invited to parley with the same government that labelled them and bombed their people into annihilation!

To sweeten the matter, they have put #50 billion, on the table!

But I welcome the stand of some of the committed and truly dedicated fighters for the cause of the Niger Delta because I believe their continued challenge to the present government would benefit even my descendants as a Yoruba man! Those who question the sincerity of UMYA and his team are justified as UMYA has not shown by his actions, since assuming the mantle of power at Aso Rock, that he is indeed a listening man. Frankly, all I see of UMYA is a lot of meaningless platitude and vindictiveness bordering on either pure ignorance or a manic threshold and will confidently stick out my neck and opine that the blood money; all #50 billion of it, is nothing but spoils of war hastily gathered to bribe the unprincipled fighters among the Niger Deltans so as to ensure that the current set of thieves at the helm of power in Nigeria continue to feed like pigs at the troughs of corruption.

Mayhap, some may see my take on these shenanigans as akin to that spoilsport fly in the ointment but wait a minute, how many common Nigerians truly benefit from the country’s abundance? How many Nigerians do you know who does not aspire to owning a generator if they have not bought one already, how many Nigerians do you know who can really afford a decent roof over their heads without the fear of a landlord knocking on the door periodically to collect rent, fair enough, not all will become landlords, but how many of us do not know unemployed University graduates; fair enough, you may ask me, how well educated are these Nigerian graduates to warrant them getting a proper job replete with a commensurate wage, but tell me how many politicians and their collaborators have children in public Nigerian universities? So why should we care if the country becomes ungovernable, afterall governance does not benefit us?

Yea, I could write a litany of woes but would I not be repeating the obvious?

That is not the purpose of my present musings. As the Yoruba people say, “ori ti wan’béé, ki koko to o dé!” Meaning, the head was in existence before the lump on it appeared. Pertinently, I am saying, the problem of the Niger Delta is not that of the MEND alone but for the talakawas, mekunus and disposed common Nigerians, for the Nigerians scattered into the diaspora, for the Nigerians who daily take to the trek across the Sahara and ends up in Libyan prisons or perish in the wilderness of Morocco, for me; and for you!

The problem of Nigeria is not the MEND, but its parasitic elite, and the posturing of the committed fighters of MEND should be encouraged. UMYA should go to he*! with his #50 billion blood money; it is mere crumbs designed to mortgage our rights. The proposals for an amnesty and conditions for it will remain an effort in futility until the conditions that gives rise to militancy are justly addressed.

As I have said before, “We do not have a government of sincerity, but one of sheer demagoguery and vainglory. A half-blind man knows that the problems of power in Nigeria goes beyond mouthing platitudes and any government imbued with half a vision would already have a roadmap in place to salvage the situation.

If the government of the day proves incapable of salvaging the situation, then it is up to Nigerians to SAVAGE the government of the day.”

MEND should not offer amnesty to the thieving elites of Nigeria.

Robot  # 1 | 28.06.2009 07:55

But I welcome the stand of some of the committed and truly dedicated fighters for the cause of the Niger Delta because I believe their continued challenge to the present government would benefit even my descendants as a Yoruba man! ... So why should we care if the country becomes ungovernable, afterall governance does not benefit us? ...Read the full article.

PAPIG  # 2 | 29.06.2009 19:01

SETTLEMENT AND AMNESTY: TAKE YOUR PICK In Nigeria, the word 'settle' connotes deep seated corruption that is now regarded as 'our way of life'. In Nigeria, the words 'settlement' and 'amnesty' are interchangable without loss of meaning. The government of the day 'settles' traditional rulers and religious leaders to rig themselves back to power and we the people fall in line. It is a way of life. The government of the day offers amnesty to militants to maximise their access to the main ingredients of corruption - OIL. It is a way of life. Nigerians are happy that the monstrous conglomerate SHELL has opted to 'settle' out of a court in New York by paying $15million to the dead, the dying and dispossessed of the Niger Delta. Is this really our way of life? Is this not the line SHELL has been treading since OIL was found in our shores? I beg to say that the 'settlement' by either the government of the day or SHELL was NOT DONE IN MY NAME. I reject in ENTIRETY ALL SETTLEMENTS BY THIS THIEVING GOVERNMENT AND MURDEROUS CONGLOMERATE CALLED SHELL. WE ARE NOT ALL BLIND AND HAPPY TO BE SETTLED. Thank you Kay.

kalu31  # 3 | 30.06.2009 17:00

what a reversal, JTF and her fat general told us they were employing shock and awe on the militants, the joke is squarly on the Nigerian Army. the MEND boys have disgraced the Army, in Vietnam we learnt that a military operation has to have an exit route and a clear defination of what success is, the JTF went into the creeks wihout a defination of success and an exit plan. after Camp 5, what next? the MEND has shut down Nigeria oil output, the Naira is in danger of crashing, forget about fuel lines, we wont be able to pay for imports again. what is the plan if the militants reject the armnesty or Okah asked to be made the Vice President? can Yaddy say no? this Armensty will fail, they can buy these boys off, but can they buy the entire Niger Delta off? Nigeria do the right thing, develop the Niger Delta the same way Abuja is developed, do we realise how many schools, and borehols N50 billion can build? the soap opera has just began, Yaddy is clueless!