With a drink like this, I’ll have no more stomach room for food. I ordered another glass of didun (sweet) – the house drink the new kitchen director created. It was truly sweet! Perhaps it’s the ingredients, the taste or both, but this was my third glass, and although I still wanted to eat my lunch, the way I was going, that may end up being a take away.

The waiter returned with my drink and I checked my watch. My client would arrive any minute now. I placed her folder on the table and oops… I tipped my drink. Thanks to God, the folder and contents were saved. As I dried the table with napkins, my client, Bolu, arrived. I apologized for my ‘unpreparedness’ and appreciated her generosity in waiting as I got myself together.

We held hands and prayed regarding our twenty-minute counseling session. Bolu handed me her completed profile and after highlighting the appropriate sections, I asked her;

“So how do you feel being the last born?”

Bolu: Cheated! My parents wanted a boy. I have fought rejection issues all my life. Everybody bosses me around. It’s either I’m too slow or too fast, too good or too bad, too smart or too stupid, I can’t be good enough!

“I see. What do you perceive as your strengths and weaknesses. Let’s start with the strengths.”

Bolu responded and as I wrote away, I got a clearer perspective of the issues she was dealing with.

“Now tell me about your weaknesses.”

Bolu responded and I wrote her response down.

“Would you like a drink?”

Bolu nodded her head and I gave her the menu. She picked the energy drink – W.H.E.N., acronym for we have energy now.

“I haven’t tried that one yet. I’ll order one as well.”

We placed our orders and I continued with my questions. When our drinks arrived and I took a sip of when, I changed my mind about didun. When had the sweet taste with a kick to it. I continued my session with Bolu and we agreed that we would meet again in two weeks after she would have read the books I suggested. We held hands and prayed and she left.

Wole came in about five minutes later. We had planned to meet as he was en route to the airport to pick his mum. I introduced him to when and he became hooked as well, ordering a six-pack to takeaway.

“Thanks for organizing the Yoruba only service” I stated. “I was really blessed.”

Wole: Thank you. I didn’t know how much of a Yoruba man I was till after the program. Two of my colleagues have vowed to hold such services every year. Those choruses we sang really brought back memories. Wonu plays the CD every day.

“Talking about Wonu, how’s she doing?”

Wole: Much better. Thank God for His mercies! I have blessed the guy that ran into her. What else can I do? God protected her, that’s all that matters.

“I had an accident recently too. God is faithful! He saved my life and worked everything around for my good.”

Wole: Derbrah, I’ve been feeling very heavy lately. Just keep me in your prayers.

“Will do. Do you have an idea what it is?”

Wole: There’s this ex-girlfriend of mine that wants to see me and I have a cold feeling about it.

“Really? If you are not comfortable seeing her, refer her to your assistant pastors.”

Wole: I tried that but she refused. She says it’s personal. I even told her I was booked for six months, she said she’ll wait.

“Hmm, there must be something. What did Wonu say?”

Wole: Wonu wants me to hear her out. The thing is, I have a free spot next week so I should have my secretary call her to fill the spot, but my heart is so heavy. Just keep me in your prayers.”

“Let’s pray.”

Wole and I held hands and prayed.

Wole: Thanks. I needed that.

“How are your parents doing? How’s your dad taking your mum’s absence?”

Wole: They’re both fine. Dad is good at taking care of himself.

“Are you still making him pay for leaving you?”

Wole: Not really, but I am not particularly sympathetic towards him. I really enjoyed your friend’s materials. It’s helped me to put into proper perspective my feelings on my past.

“Juli told me you got in touch with her. I’m glad you’re all sorted out.”

Wole: I am glad too. Now I can fully enjoy my own uniqueness and tell that nagging thought of subtle unbelief to take a hike. That Juli woman is a ProphetesPoimen (prophet and pastor), her questions and analysis were too revealing! Even Wonu too commented about the profile! It was three months of emotional roller coaster, but I’m good now, thanks again.  He finished his drink and commented, “This drink is really nice. I think I’ll have a whole carton. The way I’m going, I won’t be able to eat my lunch and Wonu will kill me.”

“Just blame Adeoye the new Kitchen director. I’m going to order my lunch to go as well. The guy is good.”

Wole: He is an Ade, well, of course, he’s good. We Ades are the best.

“So are you starting an Ade club?” I teased.

Wole: I already have. You are one of the members you know.

 “I hope this club has financial benefits. It must not be limited to bearing the name Ade alone.”

Wole: What else do you need? After my regular supply of one million dollars every month, should I make it two million?

After laughing out loud, I said, “Adewole, please let me enjoy my drink in peace. When you make a million dollars in ten years, get in touch with me and we’ll talk.”

Wole: Don’t worry, I promise to add at least ten thousand dollars every month, you know me, I’m very generous.

I laughed again.

Wole: So which name should I name my next baby, Adeola or Olawole?

“That reminds me, Wonu asked me to talk with you.”

Wole: I knew it. You women have gotten together.

“Well, it’s only for the best.”

Wole: What did she tell you, that I’ve changed abi?

“Well, kind of.”

Wole: Wasn’t it you and her and her sister as well that wanted me to get over the issues I had with my dad?

“Yes, we did and we’re glad you did, but...”

Wole: But this is the after effect. It is true I did not want to have children, it is true I didn’t even want to marry, but that has changed, bit by bit, God has eroded my stony heart and I am enjoying husbandhood and fatherhood.

“That is all true but you have to give her time to adjust to the new you. You can’t expect her to change her plans so soon.”

Wole: She has four years to make up her mind.

“It’s that attitude that’s manipulative. Since you are adding on to your agreement with her, you shouldn’t be the one placing an ultimatum.

Wole: So that’s what’s eating her out?

“You are not repentant yet? So if she is still unwilling in four years time, should she be thinking of separation or divorce?”

Wole: Di what? I am not that crazy. I just thought having two kids would be fun. I thought it was the post partum thing blinding her desire right now. I was so sure she’d see it my way in four years time after helping her sister out. There’s no divorce o!

“Good, so that’s settled then. I expect her call tonight confirming your repentance.”

Wole: But Derbrah, I am your friend, you should be taking sides with me, not my wife.

“It is true we were friends first but I am for fairness.”

Wole: She shouldn’t have told you. It’s not that bad. On second thoughts, this must have really hurt her.

“It did. Something you did not appear to understand is that many women view pregnancy differently. Some women love being pregnant, some don’t. Wonu set her mind on two pregnancies, telling her to add one more is a mental burden, especially at this time.”

Wole: African women are supposed to love bearing children. Why is she content with just one son. Afterall, she is the second born.

“For whatever reason, that’s what she wants and that’s what you agreed on. You need to wait upon the Lord to work in her to desire what you want.”

Wole: But she is supposed to submit to me, no matter what.

“No she’s not! Submission is dependent on what you want. If you want her to drink a glass of poison, she should submit?”

Wole: You know what I mean now, anyway, I’m sorry she’s hurt. I’ll pray to Daddy above.

“Good. That’s what she’s had to do all these years while you were moaning over your past.”

Wole: Do you know my mum wanted to have kids, she just couldn’t have any more.

“You told me this before. I believe your dad must have given her a sexually transmitted infection or something.”

Wole: Most likely. He couldn’t have any other kids as well.

“Having more than one child was popular in the olden days.”

Wole: That’s one of the reasons I believed Wonu wouldn’t mind. We’ve been trained to have more than one child.” Finishing another drink he heaved, “ I’m always a student in this marriage business. Just when I think I have it covered, something happens.”

“We are all learning.”

Wole: I hope it’s not the western influence. I…

His phone rang and he conversed for about five minutes

Wole: Wonu has reminded me to get the contact details of Divine Appointment. She wants them to minister at Olaade’s dedication.

“Oh that group that sang the last time we were all together. I’ve forgotten about them. Perhaps mama Jade would know. She gets all these mail. Let me check for you.”

I called Mama Jade and she confirmed that she had the contact details of the group. She told me to expect one of her staff members to get the information across to me. About two minutes later, a waitress came to me with the contact details on a post it slip. Wole received the contact address joyfully.

Wole: You and Wonu have succeeded in making me sad this afternoon.

“You’re the one making yourself sad. Get over it!”

Wole: But D, I want to have another child, a girl or boy, I don’t care but I want two. I believe it is a godly desire.

“I believe that too. And I also believe that you must wait upon God to make your wife want another baby as much as you want one. Don’t pressure her, belittle her or hate her.”

He bowed his head and prayed silently then declared “Now it’s over. I have told God, if He wants me to have another baby, He should let Wonu ask me, if not, I rejoice in the blessing I have already.”

I smiled and sweetly replied “That’s one of the reasons we’ve remained friends for so long, I trust you to let God be the Boss.”

Wole picked up his order and left to the airport while I left for the restroom. I met two ladies in there singing a chorus I loved;

Continued in part2

Derbrah writes courtesy of Agape for All Ministries. Author retains copyright.

Jadesọla’s restaurant is a drama ministry of the Yoruba Christian Women (YCW), an international faith-based non-governmental, not-for-profit organization. Similarity of names and stories are coincidental. Feel free to copy for non-commercial use. Commercial use requires permission. For more information on YCW write Jesutoyin Ajikẹ-King (toyinking@yahoo.com)

Robot  # 1 | 08.10.2008 23:15

With a drink like this, I’ll have no more stomach room for food. I ordered another glass of didun (sweet) – the house drink the new kitchen director created. It was truly sweet! Perhaps i...Read the full article.