Turning to Iwa I asked, “Did you ever attend this particular church? I asked.

Iwa: Yes. I went there for about 15 years. I only stopped four years ago when I got saved. Why do you ask?

“I was taught that song by a member of the church.” I replied.

Iwa: You mean a member of the cult. That’s not a true church my dear.

Ire: At least you were sure you were in a cult and left. I was in a nominal church. There’s nothing as bad as calling man’s wisdom, God. Yet, I can’t seem to get out. Whenever I go to these gospel churches, I feel out of place. They are so quick to judge and so inpatient.

Iwa: There are many churches that are solid. You’re attending wrong places.

“I know what you mean, but don’t let your feelings rule you.” I responded. “I understand that you may feel out of place while fellowshipping with some Christians but it’s better to tough it out in the right place than wine and dine with the deceived.

Ire: I go to fellowships. I am still an active member of my college fellowship alumni.

Iwa: That’s not the same as belonging to a church and having a properly ordained pastor as your shepherd.

Ire: Who said?

“The word of God said.” I responded. “Fellowships are good but they cannot take the place of churches. What we’re having now is fellowship. This or something similar should not and must not take place of a church. I recommend that you trust God to lead you to a church that is alive where you’ll feel at home. A living church has a properly ordained pastor. One that is called, trained and ordained. Your write-up contained Ephesians 4:11, read the verses that follow it. Especially verses 12 and 13. Then there’s Hebrews 10:25. Pastors head churches, not elected or appointed fellowship members. Pastors are called, trained and ordained.

Iwa: And licensed. Not these charlatans that print flyers and hold services.

“My dear, even some of the licensed ones are crooks.” I stated. “Many are not called by God, or maybe I should say, many called themselves.”

Ire: You’re being too nice. Many are called by the Devil. They are ministers of deception not the truth. Imagine one telling me God does not want a woman to preach.

Iwa: Or worse, God wants a woman to be abused by a man. Alaba almost lost her life because her church treated divorce like a disease. I feel you girl. Everybody’s a minister today. Everybody is the anointed minister of the hour. It’s all man worship. Actually, it’s mammon worship. Money and fame rules.

“Selfishness which Apostle John called the pride of life is the reason the church and the world look alike.” I commented. “Why would someone be bold to take on the honor that belongs to God and those He has appointed if not for selfishness?

Ire: My definition of selfishness is doing what you want at the expense of what God does not want.

Iwa: Good definition. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of selfishness. It’s only a matter of time, these rebellious churches will be destroyed.

“I think the selfishness itself is what will destroy them.” I stated, “Not God.”

Ire: So selfishness inspires the sin and selfishness confers the condemnation.

Iwa: So tell me Ire, where do you pay your tithe?

Ire: Anywhere I see fit.

Iwa: You need help really fast.

Ire: Who said?

Iwa: The word of God and common sense said. Tithes belong in a church where you are a member. You blossom where you’re planted. This is wilderness Christianity. That’s what you’re practicing.

Ire: At least I’m not paying tithes to the dead like you. Imagine joining a church where you can’t dress comfortably to church. You look different every time you go to church. Isn’t that hypocrisy?

Iwa: That doesn’t make us dead. It’s just a dress code.

Ire: It doesn’t make you alive either. Your dress code is not endorsed by Jesus Christ.

Iwa: Who said?

Ire: The word of God said. Read I Corinthians 11. Derbrah, why are you silent?

“Iwa, your church does not have an evangelical group.” I commented. “Neither does it sponsor missionaries. I consider that a dead church as well. Please don’t pay tithes to the dead. It’s mismanagement of the funds of which God has made you a steward. Ire, you know you can make good friends in your home church. You’ve played around long enough. You must find a church home soon.”

Iwa pulled her hair while Ire scribbled on her paper. I excused myself and went to the restroom. As I stepped in, I saw this lady that looked like Oye. I was so excited, I gasped, “Oye” The lady turned around and responded. “I’m not Oye, but you’re Derbrah.”

“I’m sorry.” I stated. “You look just like a high school friend of mine.”

“That’s fine.” She replied. “I seem to have a global face. Many people think I look like someone they know. Auntie Ọla told me I needed to talk with you.”

“O really. Who’s auntie Ọla?”

“Mama Jadesọla. The owner of the restaurant.”

“Oh mama Jade.” I responded. “Could you give me a few minutes while I use the restroom?”

“Sure.” She responded.

As I dried my hands she stated.

“I want to divorce my husband. We’ve only been married two months but he’s been diagnosed with a terminal illness and I am angry with him because he should have told me about the possibility of the issue while we were courting. Now I’m going to be a widow. That’s the only thing I dread in life. Auntie Ọla says I’m making a hasty judgment. What do you think?”

“How many more years does your husband have to live?” I asked.

“Six months to a year.”

“Well that’s about the same time it takes to have a divorce. It may not even make a difference.”

“I’m not Californian. In my state, you can get a divorce in ten days!”

“Ten days? That’s where I should have lived.” I replied. “ California took a while. Anyway, this is not about me. What peace, joy or satisfaction would the divorce bring?”

“I don’t know. But I prefer that to the torture of going through life as a widow.” She responded. “Auntie Ọla is a perfectionist. She thinks I should forgive and forget and live in denial as if I were sowing a seed of mercy into his life. Sounds nice, but the fact is he lied on his courtship application. That’s proof that he has little integrity and he does not love me sincerely as he claims, nor does he love himself.”

“What reason did he give?”

“He said he had prayed about it and he believed God had healed him.”

“Hmm. Sounds like he was trying to achieve healing with insufficient faith. He may not be lying outright but may just be presumptuous.” I said. “Tell you what. Ask mama Jade to give you this book and cds on faith, foolishness and presumption. She has them in her library. That would assist you in thinking more clearly.”

“If you were in my shoes, what would you do?”

“Why does my opinion matter?”

“Auntie Ọla kept saying she regrets having six divorces. She made those decisions because she did not know God. You’re the only one she knows that had a godly divorce. So your opinion matters greatly.

“Mama Jade is really one of my biggest fans.” I smiled. “Honestly, if it were me, I would pray for a healing miracle. I wouldn’t let the Devil steal the person I love through an untimely death.”

“If he had been upfront about it. I would have done that too. It’s the lies that crippled me.” Tears rimmed her eyes.

I reached out and gave her a hug.  Then I prayed silently. “Heavenly Father, you know how deep a wound the emotional pain in my sister’s heart is. You cared for her so much that You sent our Lord Jesus to pay the price for her healing 2,000 years ago. According to your word, she is the healed in Christ. I ask that the power of the blood of the new covenant and the energy of your Spirit heal her soul and restore her joy in Jesus name.”

“Amen.” She answered, wiping her eyes. “Thank you. I’m glad auntie Ọla referred you. I’m going back home next week. I have to return to work. I’m not as distraught as I was anymore. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure.” I responded. “We give our King all the glory for His never ending mercies.” As I turned to leave I realized I did not have her name so I asked.

“I’m Laja.” She responded. “Ifẹlaja.”

“Nice to meet you Laja.” I replied. “Ask mama Jade for my contact details. If you need to call me or send me an email, feel free.”

Laja: Thanks Derbrah.

As I turned to return to my table I remembered. You live in this state right?

Laja confirmed by nodding her head.

“My spiritual father is in that state.” I continued. “Take your husband to him. God has used him in over thirty years of ministry. He has been used to heal the sick, raise the dead and even survive bullets. There’s nothing God can’t do.”

Laja: How come I’ve never heard of him.

“I don’t know.” I responded. “But you’re hearing of him now. He lives in another city. However, it is the same state. “

Laja: Okay, I’ll plan to see him with Kunle. Thank you.

When I returned to my table I met three ladies.  Ire and Iwa had moved to a bigger table. Ire introduced the ladies to me.

Iwa: Derbrah, this is Funsọ, Bolu and Dēbhōrah. They are evangelists. I watched their play two weeks ago. It was very edifying. I invited them to join us while you were away. Exs, this is Derbrah. She’s our minister friend who was in the bathroom.

The Exs and I exchanged greetings and I sat down.

“I’m a little curious.” I started. “Why are you called the Exs?”

Funsọ: We are ex-victims

Bolu: We met at school during a psychology class and we realized that we were ex-rape victims.

Dēbhōrah: We also discovered that we were Christians so we decided to join together and let God use our past to minister to others.

“Beautiful.” I responded, with a sparkle in my eyes. “I commend you all for your godly decision. I’d like to watch your play sometime.”

Dēbhōrah: We’re ministering at God’s Kind of Faith Church next Saturday.

Bolu: The show starts at 6.30pm

Funsọ reached into her purse and gave us a ticket each. We received the tickets and promised to plan to attend.

Ire: So who were your oppressors?

Iwa: Funsọ was raped by her half brother, Dēbhōrah was raped by her uncle and Bolu was raped by her father.

Bolu: You have a good memory. That’s right.

Continued in part 3

Derbrah writes courtesy of Agape for All Ministries. Author retains copyright.

Jadesọla’s restaurant is a drama ministry of the Yoruba Christian Women (YCW), an international faith-based non-governmental, not-for-profit organization. Similarity of names and stories are coincidental. Feel free to copy for non-commercial use. Commercial use requires permission. For more information on YCW write Jesutoyin Ajikẹ-King (toyinking@yahoo.com).

Robot  # 1 | 01.10.2007 05:49

“The word of God said.” I responded. “Fellowships are good but they cannot take the ...Read the full article.

Mikky jaga  # 2 | 02.10.2007 10:58

Reading through the discussion between the people in this write up gives one the impression that they are damn too judgmental to be of any use. One can understand a cult, which is well defined as opposed to a church. But to start classifying churches as dead church or nominal is to wear the cloak of a judge, which is against the spirit of Christianity. On the issue of the girl that wanted a divorce. Of course, it was wrong for the man to keep such fact away from a girl she wanted to marry. But, since this has to do with the life of the man and not intended to trap the girl into a deadly affair, I expect the girl to show more understanding. It actually may show that the man truly loved her by his not willing to reveal a fact that may take his love away. This is different from a man that is HIV positive, trying to trap a woman into marriage. Since the life of the girl also depends on it, she deserves a full disclosure before the marriage or that marriage is not binding. On divorce, we should just forget about the vow: "For better, for worse; For richer, for poorer, till death do us part" if we can still consider divorce as a solution to marital problems. I firmly believe there is no problem that can not be solved, if both partners work hard at it. Divorce is an admission of failure, it solves no problems.