I had the déjà vu feeling as I made my way to the bathroom at Mama Jade’s. It was about 8 O’ clock at night. We had just finished a small praise dinner she had organized to mark the two-year anniversary of the restaurant and her biological motherhood. Looking at her babies (who slept through the whole program) made me determined to keep trusting God for the things I was waiting on Him for. Mama Jade had become a modern day Hannah and Sarah! Her life simply radiated the phrase, “nothing is impossible with God!”

I wondered about the motherhood story of each mother in the conference room. The program had been a free style, support group format. Everyone had introduced themselves saying how many children they had and when they became a mother. Dinner had been served, Jesu Jays had sang, mama Jade had given her testimony, given everyone gifts and that was it. Perhaps if we had had more time I could have discovered each mother’s story. Did they have C-sections like I did or vaginal birth like mama Jade. Did they have their uterus repaired like my friend Jibafẹ or a creative miracle like mama Jade. Did they have their children as young adults (20-30) or older adults (31 – 55) like me? Information, information, information, my mind craves information. It’s one of the ways I knew my ministerial calling was to be a teacher. I never tire of learning. That was one thing motherhood was doing, it was teaching me… I’ve learned a lot of life skills from being a mother.

The song mama Jade had sung as she started her testimony resounded in my head:

“What shall I render, what shall I render? What shall I render to you my Lord? I will exalt Your name, I shout halleluya, what shall I render to You my Lord.”

She had shared where God had brought her from and where He had taken her to. We were all enthralled! I had to repent for the unbelief that had begun to encroach in my mind, due to spending too much time looking at the circumstances around me, I reminded myself that the physical was temporal and the spiritual, eternal, and also that the seeming fact that my faith had not physically manifested did not negate the substance of what I hoped for nor the evidence of what I could not yet see.

By the time I finished in the bathroom, I was humming the chorus, after checking that I was the only one there (not wanting to disturb anyone) I sang the song at the top of my voice. I was having a ball, at least, until Joyin came to me in tears!

Joyin: Why is my life so complicated?

Letting her cry on my shoulders, I soothed her, “Cast the burden on the Lord, honey, don’t even try to carry it, you can’t.” I knew what she was talking about. She and Alex had broken up because he had decided he did not want to have any biological children, he only wanted to adopt. Joyin was excited about adopting but she wanted to birth children as well. After much counseling, it was obvious they were incompatible, especially when Alex had chosen to have a vasectomy against her wishes. Even though the decision to break up was mutual, the love they both shared made the pain severe. It had been six weeks, but Joyin was still depressed.

Joyin: Is it true Segun came to you?

“Yes” I replied, “and it is true, he has changed, but don’t be dragged into making a decision now, get over this one first, give yourself space, marriage is for the rest of your life.”

Joyin: Thank you aunty. I’m going to Lagos, I need the change of scenery.

After praying with her, I gave her a beary hug and waved her goodbye. As I left the bathroom I remembered how Segun had warmed his way to my heart. It was this Sunday afternoon, I had been physically tired. Thankfully, my sons were tired as well, so I planned that we would all hit the bed on arrival at home.

On reaching home I noticed that my voicemail light was blinking and it was Segun, requesting to meet with me, he was in my area till evening. I noted it and planned to respond after a good rest. I must have slept for about two – three hours. Anyway, when I called him he sounded excited and came over to my place within twenty minutes. I was intrigued. The Oluwaṣẹgunfunmi (full name of Segun) that came to my place was not the immature young adult who had trampled on Joyin’s emotions. He was a maturing young adult who was in love with Jesus Christ and bearing the fruit of the Holy Spirit. I was delighted to listen to him apologize for his behavior, request forgiveness and share the goodness of the Lord in his life.

So I inquired what had happened and he told me how he had begun to meditate on the scriptures and he discovered that God’s word was very enriching! He began to spend less time with friends and more time with the word. His prayer life had changed and his desires had changed. He became more aware of the Holy Spirit and His ministry of healing, forgiveness and restoration. I listened intently at his spiritual maturation journey and commended his decision to trust God. Then he has asked if Joyin would forgive him, I assured him that if he was as sincere with her as he was with me, that she would.

Segun: I want her to give me a second chance, could you please put in a word for me?

“I can’t do that Segun. She betrothed to Alex now. Their wedding is being planned for September along with her cousins. I’m sorry.”

Segun had dropped his head down for a second and heaved a sign. Then he responded “I just know that in my heart, there’s no one else for me.”

My heart went out to him. “God is a matchmaker and a master planner. If Joyin’s yours, she’ll find no peace and rest but with you. It’s a good thing you both trust in God, He knows how to merge hearts. Place it in God’s hands, let Him do what He alone can do.”

I had prayed with him and he left. That was three months ago, now Joyin was unsure whether to yield to his love or not. It was just a matter of time, I was sure she would love him again. That reminded me of Dimples, my friend’s son and Jẹyọ. Dimples had taken another road to win Jẹyọ’s heart. He had employed a 40-day love expression technique that he got from a Christian film. By day 30 Jẹyọ was ready to pop the question. It was exciting to see what God was doing in the next generation.

“Debora, oju ẹ re” (Deborah, this is your face)

Turning, I saw Moyege. We exchanged hugs and caught up on each other’s lives. I asked after Kẹmi and Oyinkan and she filled me in. We chatted for about ten minutes and waved goodbye. What is it about Mother’s day that liberates and invigorates me? It must be the Yoruba effect. Yoruba females are trained to esteem (sometimes worship) motherhood. It’s probably one of the reasons I’m challenged by pastor Juli who never got married or had a baby and never had a desire to. From my childhood I had always wanted to be a mother. Seeing Moyege, who like Juli, had chosen never to have children triggered some emotions and memories. I see them as very strong women. I knew I could never have such strength.

My “yorubanization” was too much for me to enjoy my life without birthing children. It was the same effect on mama Jade who went through miscarriages and six divorces. It was the same effect on Jibafẹ who had had an abortion but trusted God to repair her womb and make her a mother. I was a little confused as to how to greet Moyege, I couldn’t say happy mothers day, so I had covered it up with a hug. I still had a lot to learn and life was really interesting.

By this time I was back in Mama Jade’s office. I picked up my bag and mother’s day gift when I remembered that I had to make a call to someone on the east coast before they went to bed and wish them happy mother’s day. I made my call and turned to leave when Ayọkunnu, Mama Jade’s son woke up. Now where was Mama Jade? She was probably seeing off her guests. Why she left the little boy alone, I do not know. Even though this lady had said she didn’t want girls, she only wanted boys, she seems to spend more time with Ayọtunnu, her baby girl than Ayọkunnu, her baby boy. Having two boys, I knew it was a matter of seconds before he wanted to nurse.

My boys, when they were babies had the same routine – nurse, poop, play and sleep. They were so predictable, it made life easy. Didn’t I think it, Ayọkunnu’s mouth opened and his face changed, he let out a small shriek and I swooped him in my arms. Why am I such a sucker for babies? I was already grinning, looking into his gorgeous eye balls when I realized that his hands were on my breast… oh my, I don’t have any milk, sorry, let’s go get your mama… what was that I felt, a let down? Did I just have an oxytocin or is it dopamine effect? Thankfully Mama Jade arrived with Ayọtunnu.

Mama Jade: Thank you, I was wondering when he would wake up.

She placed her baby girl in the crib and took Ayọkunnu from my arms. I said my goodbyes and made my way out of the restaurant. Ayọ kun inumi – I am full of joy or joy fills my heart, motherhood helps us remember that we are wonderfully made, motherhood helps us remember that there is a God. I am thankful to be a mother – Ẹṣe pupọ Adonai, todah rabbah Adonai, thank You very much Adonai.

In the parking lot I saw a lady pacing back and forth trying to pacify her baby. The baby looked like a seven-month old. Moved with compassion, I offered to assist by introducing her to Yoruba style of baby backing. I went to my car and got a wrapper (iro) and sash (ọja), and showed her how to gbe ọmọ pọn (place her baby on her back). I think the baby was in shock or thrilled but while we carried out the process, she quieted. This lady and I chatted for a few minutes and she was delighted to hear the sound of her baby fast asleep.

Lady: This is the best mother’s day present for me, thank you. I know how to make her quiet down now.

I was gladdened with her response. On my way home I remembered three of my friends who died while pregnant. It reminded me of the greetings Yorubas had for mother who just put to bed: Ẹ ku ewu ọmọ – Congratulations on triumphing in the dangers of bringing forth a child. It made me grateful to have learned about the power of the God-kind of faith which is because of God’s grace. God has been gracious to me and my sons! Then I remembered Ayọkunnu and his desire to nurse and smiled. It’s mothers’ day and I am glad.

Derbrah writes courtesy of Agape for All Ministries. Author retains copyright.

Jadesọla’s restaurant is a drama ministry of the Yoruba Christian Women (YCW), an international faith-based non governmental, not-for-profit organization. Similarity of names and stories are coincidental. Feel free to copy for non-commercial use. Commercial use requires permission. For more information on YCW write Jesutoyin Ajikẹ-King ( toyinking@yahoo.com This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it )

Robot  # 1 | 06.06.2009 13:29

Ilejeun Jadesọla (Jadesola'a Restaurant) A two-year anniversary ...Read the full article.