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Learning from Women |
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Written by Hakeem Babalola
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Wednesday, 05 December 2007 |
It would be a pleasant fashion seeing African men in skirt. Such style would divert our attention like the clown amused the children. African men should do it as fast as possible before our western counterparts beat us to it – again.
Doing so may likely convince the likes of James Watson who recently proclaimed that black people are "less intelligent". If one substitutes black people with African people, then one would see Joseph Conrad’s Heart of darkness in James Watson, an American molecular biologist best known as one of the co-discoverers of the structure of DNA.
Perhaps Watson was not actually talking about technological invention but our inability to stick to whatever is our own. Perhaps Watson loves us so much that he was inspired to tell us what the world surreptitiously think about us. I mean the notion that Africa has been subjugated to the bottom of the totem pole.
I do apologize for the distraction. However, I wish our women did not transport feminism to Africa from Great Britain and the United States, the two countries where the contemporary western feminist movement has its root in the middle part of the nineteenth century.
At that time women in both countries formed organizations that called for the right to vote (suffrage). Previously, women had been subjugated (enslaved) by law, theology (religion), and social norms that restricted their freedom. They could not own property, engage in business, or control the fates of their children or themselves.
The first feminist proclamation was A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, published in 1792 by British author and educator Mary Wollstonecraft (1759–1797). The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that "everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status." (Article 2).
African feminists like Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, Princess Nike Daramy, Margaret Ekpo, Amina Mama, Nina Mba, Gambo Sawaba, Ama Ata Aidoo, debby Bonnin, Catherine Burns, Lynn Chemaly, Anne McClintlock, Mamphela Ramphele, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, Anisia K. Achieng Olworo, Khada Zahir, Mariam Ba, Marie-Helenn Mottin Sylla, Yvonne Vera, Ophelia Mascarenhas, and Marjorie Mbilinyi started the revolution when they fought different battles in their respective countries. For example, Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti fought for Women Adult Suffrage in Nigeria, becoming the first woman to drive a car. What a man can do, a woman can do better.
Meanwhile modern women have carried the struggle further. It is no more about feminism rather about feminization of their men. There was once an era where a man was supposed to be a man, reasoned Bill Barnwell, author of Feminization of Men. He looked like a man, he talked like man and he acted like it. Not so anymore. Today, if you want to be an appealing, attractive male, then you had better feminize yourself, and feminize yourself quick.
In Africa for instance, it is still taboo for men to go to the market if they have wife; men are not expected to baby-sit or do the house work; even the old taboo on kissing in the public. But that is the beauty and the imagination of the past. Today’s African men, especially the ones that have attended post Secondary School and those that live in the western world – are gradually changing the perspective of things.
In most part of Africa, a man is believed to be the head of the family. Although this trend is common among the so-called illiterates, "even some educated ones still believe in such doctrine," says Iyabo Ogundare, an African woman who is living in Britain with his husband.
An African educated man who tries to reverse the role is seemingly mocked by his friends and relatives. He may be dubbed oko iyawo (husband of his wife). They might say o ti fun ni ogun ife (she has given him love portion). However, some African men do not mind babysitting or carrying their wives’ handbag but too embarrassed to do it publicly.
As for those of us living in the western world, the environment has compelled us to become feminized. No one wants to be the subject of ridicule when our wives or girlfriends engaged in discussion. A husband who shows any signs of chauvinism is quickly called uncaring. God forbid bad thing. To be referred to as uncaring husband is like incurable disease. Adeola Aderounmu, a Nigerian living in Sweden, captures the essence in his An Argument for Parental Leave.
I believe African men in the western world have no choice other than to abide by the rules of feminization. If we want to be in the good book of our wives or lovers, we must cuddle and kiss our women every now and then; we should go to the market and even cook; do the washing and ironing; empty the garbage; babysit, feed the baby and change diaper. We may as well learn how to carry baby in our womb.
Take the beautiful life of Aka Pygmy for example. Aka Pygmy men of Central Africa without any loss of status, cook while their women hunt and decide where to set up the next camp. According to Prof Barry Hewlett, an American anthropologist, breast feeding is common among Aka fathers who are within reach of their infants 47% of the time.
Like Aka men, yours truly is learning fast. Now I can change diaper while babysitting, feed my boy without choking him, empty the garbage, sometimes do the cooking and ironing. The only thing I still detest is washing the dishes. I supposed these things have become the norm among African men in the western world. The question is, are we going to continue this trend after going back to Africa? Even if our friends and relatives mock us by calling us baba London?
Copyright 2007 mysmallvoice@yahoo.com
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Last Updated (
Thursday, 24 April 2008 ) |
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Posted by Robot| 05.12.2007 11:30