Hungarian Women Seeking African Men & Vice-Versa

Hakeem Babalola

 Hungarian women and African men residing in Hungary have a deep kinship when it comes to affairs of the heart. For fairness sake, I will put them into categories. I would say there are three types of Hungarian women seeking relationship with African men and vice-versa. Before I go in perspective, it is important to point out what most expatriates here think about Hungarian women: it is that they are simply beautiful. Nigerians and Ghanaians especially, are fond of joking that they have finally found heaven on earth when describing these women’s remarkable beauty.  One can even make a tentative argument that, most of our brothers reside here mainly because of these “sweet” ladies whose beauty provide sunshine during those depressing snow months – especially January and February. Situated along the Danube , a river in central and South East Europe, flowing East from South Germany to the Black Sea , Hungary ’s population is about eleven millions.

So in the first category are those who have a conventional view of their environment. These gorgeous Hungarian women are cautious in attitude and careful in actions. They are thrifty in style and appearance instead of wearing unusual or daringly fashionable clothes. They are very pleasant and helpful. They cherish African culture, plait their straight or curly hair, and some of them are even promoting African culture here in Budapest . They wear African clothes during summer, cook and enjoy African dishes. They don’t even mind living in Africa with their hubbies. Hungarian women who belong to this category respect the institution called marriage. They want to settle down or have settled down with their life partners, raising as many children as their forints could afford. To these women, colour of skin does not matter. They are the ones who believe love conquers everything. With love, they believe it is easy to build castle in heaven. These women claim to love their African partners for whom they are. What matters to these women is love. Love with love, the kind that Teddy Pendergrass summed up in one of his albums: 50/50 love. To love and be loved in return, something we all desire.

 A westernised African man fits well into this category. He has since known that a wife or a girlfriend is not a property, but a partner or even a boss. He must be capable of showing extraordinary passion for his woman inside the metro, tram or bus. He must be ready to cuddle and be cuddled, kiss and be kissed in public, and most of all, he must be ready to walk hand in hand with his spouse or girlfriend along a crowded street or park. He is the one who can graciously defend his wife or girlfriend – when they romantically journey to Africa – why she is the boss; why they need to smooch in the public. Also, he is the one who is ready to tell every man or woman in his village or town the need for constant affection towards his princess. He needs to remind them that love is like the cassava plant in their farms; it definitely needs to be nurtured in order to grow. I think by the time he finishes his lecture, every clansman would understand. Our brothers in this group have since settled down with their better halves and their children. The consummation of marriage between Hungarian women and African men in this group is quite a feat, considering the fact that Hungary – according to local media – has one of the highest divorce rates in the world.

 In the second category are those Hungarian women who seem to love African men but not enough to marry us. The relationship would definitely go well as long as there is nothing like marriage. They want us yet they do not really need us. They echo a popular song: talking about going to heaven but never want to die. They would come to your apartment but cannot go theirs. They are concerned, or afraid of what their neighbours would think should they know they are dating a fekete fiu (black boy). They would like to make an omelette but without breaking eggs. This is somehow interesting because they expect you to understand their position. Hungarian women in this category have many things in common with the first. They are kind and helpful. They would like to settle down, but not with Africans or foreigners in general. However, if they “love” you enough, they might tell you the reason behind their ambivalence behaviour saying, “Their family might disown them”.  In a cynical manner, one tends to understand. Otherwise how would they inherit that two-bedroom flat, an important asset, especially for a child who in her lifetime might not accumulate enough wealth to purchase own flat. We are that rich here.

 These women seem to be good friends though, as long as you do not cheat on them. They would even respect your gut for ending the relationship amicably. This is probably because most Hungarian men are not mature enough to quit any relationship without keeping malice. Therefore, one’s maturity is a virtue to this group of women. Those of us in this group probably have wives or fiancées back home. There is no need for another wife so the equation is balance since Hungarian women in this group also do not need African husband. However, what I do not understand about our brothers in this category is their perpetual lies in order to keep the relationship going. While Hungarian women in this group have reputation for being forthright, our brothers in this group engage in dubious manoeuvres. For instance, his wife’s picture suddenly becomes his sister’s, while his child’s picture becomes his niece’s or nephew’s.

 Hungarian women in the third category are the “wanna-have-fun”. They are the curious who would flirt and eventually seduce you whenever they want to. Mind you, not because of good looks or something of that nature. However, our brother who falls into this group would be overwhelmed with the intensity of such flattery. He would then run inside the nearby McDonald’s or Burger King, and contemplates himself in the mirror. “Men…na wa o,” he’d chuckle proudly, forgetting or ignorant of the fact that this woman does the same to almost all African men in the street – of Budapest. Fortunately or unfortunately, it is this kind of woman we encounter often – the curious. This group of Hungarian women wants us simply because we are African. This is probably because we are still strange to majority of them – unlike in America or Britain or France or Holland even Germany . They also have such parochial idea that African men are exceptionally good in the act of love hence the need for tryst. Meanwhile, the interesting thing in this group is not the women, but the childish mentality of some of us. Just because a woman looks at him in the street means she loves or wants to go to bed with him. This behaviour often irritates me.

 He rushes to the woman and bombards her with szeretlek (love you). The woman would be perplexed and then run away. Perhaps it is abnormal for a stranger to profess a genuine love to someone they barely know. On the other hand, if our brother succeeds in his tryst, then he will pop the question: I want to marry you – the best way to make the woman vamoose. Of course, she is just curious. To start with, she would not even want a second date talk less of marriage. However, like a desperado our brother would be too involved to know he is dealing with a let-me-taste-it woman. Besides, he is so insecure. He will go after any brother who dare befriend his one night “wife”. He would go to his “rival’s” flat and cause damages. Hungary is that small, and so brothers know one another. In some cases, he might throw a party in order to show off his new “wife”, and only to discover that one or two of his associates had already befriended her. This may hurt his ego and then vow never to introduce any of his new “catch” to any brother again.

 Also, in this category are those Hungarian women who specialise in dating Africans. I suppose they are the ones who find it difficult attracting Hungarian men (Hungarian men simply do not like obese), thus a “cheap” African man would be a consolation. The interesting thing here is the surreptitious pleasure woman in this group derives from seeing brothers fighting over her. She must have suddenly felt or seen beauty in herself. She would then leave both men, and find another sucker. She definitely knows where to find one. Now she would start playing hanky-panky with our brothers. She has the weapon and her motto now is, play it my way or I will find another barna fiu (brown boy). Of course, she enjoys her new hobby! This is simply because our brothers had made her a Cinderella. I shouldn’t forget to mention that our brother in this group believes he uses this Cinderella – for sex, but unknown to him, the woman also believes – passionately perhaps – that our brother is her sex slave.

 Well, one particular Hungarian woman is quite difficult to understand. She seems to love African men so much she wants more than one husband. She is the one who would write a letter – sealed with a kiss – to your friend and tell you it doesn’t matter. Meanwhile write the same letter to her friend and she will accuse you of cheating. She is the one who would say, “I’ll never love like this in my life”, yet the first to “re-love” after the burning passion had cooled off. I don’t know whether to say that the burning passion in this category always convincing in the beginning, but lapses into mawkish sentimentality at the end. This woman is determined to teach you a lesson. She wants to show that although she was your ex, there remains a thin line between the daughter of a former slave owner and the son of a former slave. She may deny it but it is obvious she passionately believes you are one of her personal possessions. She is likely to prevent you from seeing your child even after the court had ordered her. She may even accuse you of marrying her for paper though she had had the same experience from Hungarian men. Yet she seems to be the sweetest woman on earth, but she must possess you before showing this part of her.

 Still, there is another one Hungarian woman, but if I tell you about her, you may think I am making it up so I would rather keep quiet. Her story would be good for Moneywood or is it Hollywood . Anyway, African men who are now trooping into this new “haven” along Danube   River must look carefully before leaping at any chance of love or lust, which undoubtedly will blind them – at first. In spite of their diversities, these beauties share the common woman desire. They all adore and respect that man, who can resist temptation of any kind, and especially who would not be swayed by the power of seduction. They want him to be like a saint who knows his body is a temple. Such a man is rare – they know – but he would make a near perfect life partner.

@2007 

Robot  Villager

# 1 H...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 31.01.2007 12:15

ithinkbetter  Villager

# 2 abeg cut the crap...short! wetin man no go read for dis village...:( Posted by ithinkbetter| 31.01.2007 13:51

el_pharoah  Villager

# 3 I am really at a loss at what you are talking about!! Posted by el_pharoah| 31.01.2007 19:26

tonsoyo  Villager

# 4 =ithinkbetter;152320>abeg cut the crap...short! wetin man no go read for dis village...:( ithinkbetter, Haaaaa Oga you don come back, I catch you! I knew you'll soon be back. Anyway sha welcome back Posted by tonsoyo| 01.02.2007 21:15

tonsoyo  Villager

# 5 This is a good article it affords us the opportunity to know about the culture of other places, especially unlikely places like Hungary. Everyday life experience like this, is a good break from political discussion madness on this forum. Oga Hakeem, this is out of curiousity, na wetin you guys dey do in a place like Hungary? Posted by tonsoyo| 01.02.2007 21:21