These Naija people self. They are fond of idle talk. They don’t know what it is they want. They spend their lives building a house without laying foundation. Is this possible? They say I am the problem. They even call me evil genius, murderer, 419er. They say I killed my bosom friend when in fact we should kill all coup plotters. They want me dead for crimes I didn’t commit. They lampoon me more than any other malefactors. Why only me? After all, I was only following in my predecessor’s footsteps. Sikena.

These Naija people self. They are archaic idiots. They have not grasped Machiavellian concept if they think I am becoming increasingly worried about their whining. Why should I? If those before me who raped the land got away with such abominable crime, why should you persecute IBB? Even if I stole money as allegedly charged, I was only being fashionable so let me enjoy my sweat. I will not waste time highlighting my achievements because I know your preconceived opinion about IBB. Well, how did I manage to rule for eight years if I was not competent enough? Something must be wrong with the citizens then. I mean to say that I reflect the nation’s character. Persecute IBB, persecute the entire nation.

These Naija people self. They ain’t seeing nothing yet. They should wait until April, 2007 when I would force most of you to take own lives. Most especially the man called Senior Advocate of the Masses or Conscience of the Nation or whatever. I would deal with him ruthlessly this time unless he forgets the slogan: who kills Dele Giwa. Though deep down, he is the only man I fear – even I respect him.

Forget the so-called intellectuals! They are good-for-nothing. And professional beggars they are. Every military man dislikes them. In fact, they have started romancing me. Omo Omoruyi, Bolaji Akinyemi and co. I know what they want. I know their agitation. I know they always use what they have to get what they want. Even the late Conscience of the Nation called Tai Solarin, a social critic of no equal. A man of his own words who swore never to put on Agbada! And didn’t I robe him in complete Agbada? If not for his transparent honesty, I would have destroyed the virtue he cherished as caterpillar feeds on plants. Thank Allah he’s no more.

Who else? Ah, those press boys and girls with their hubbub? Well, experience has taught me how to deal with them. By the way, have you forgotten the tactics I used when I usurped power? I released their colleagues jailed by power hungry Tunde and Muhammadu. But I know what they also want. These newspaper people are funny. I am surprised the principled ones among them never query their colleagues whenever they accept government appointment. Instead of sticking to their yeye watchdog of the society, some of them have joined us in sharing mama’s cake.

Remi Oyo or what is her name? Is she not serving senior Obasanjo now? See what I mean. What of the one called England Confidential now serving Oyo state governor whose mandate remains controversial! What of Niran Malaolu serving baba’s boy in Ogun State? See what I mean. What do you think they call brown envelope? Even those crazy hungry website writers are not excluded. Give anyone of them a ministerial post and see what become of them.

O boy, they didn’t name me Maradonna for nothing. Who is that guy who started that nonsense? Anyway, I’m gonna shut his lipstick basket mouth by appointing him chairman of Road Safety Corps like his mentor, who once served under me but later proved stubborn. Professors my foot.

Or have you forgotten how I managed to carry the one you called the late sage with me in those interesting days? It was my training in the art of rhetoric that eventually did the magic. Shall I remind you what I said then? "In Nigerian politics, it’s either you’re with Awolowo or against him." Of course the Ikemba was right when he eulogised him as the best president Nigeria never had.

These Naija people self. Instead of going separate ways, they engage in self-deceit, thinking their differences would soon be solved. They were easily cajoled into following our master plan – since that first coup. Do you think senior Segun believe in one Naija? Continue deceiving yourself. My friend, we the elites have always been ardently pro-One Naija because it serves our purpose. It makes you guys forever our servants.

Inshall Allah it’s my turn again and none of you can stop me. Not even the media puerile campaign against me. It is a do or die affair. Mallam, forget about senior Segun’s double-talk, saying politics isn’t a do or die affair. In a free and fair election, me mallam IBB will defeat anybody and I mean anybody. Go see the recent advert inside Thisday newspaper of August 7. It will certainly convince you. I am your choice because I am the nation's mirror.

I am aware that OBJ has employed the services of America to trace my loot, but nothing would ever be found. That’s the difference between Ibrahim the man and Sani the boy. Did they not release my son after that arrest? Naija people, please continue snoring until eternity. Continue barking without biting or clawing. Continue your whining and crawling. But ye shall never understand. Was it not Obasanjo who said that whoever had any evidence against me should produce it or shut up their stinking mouth? My friend, we are delighted in having got you punch-drunk with our games.

Gullible people you shall forever remain. Do you think I stepped aside because of Naija’s unity or love? I did it as a last resort; to cool you down, so I can return to my inheritance called Nigeria. And my offspring shall also rule you. It’s not a cause but how it has been written in the beginning. It is either I rule again or there would be no Nigeria. After all, that’s our initial agreement, a very gentleman’s agreement indeed.

By the way, where are those pseudo patriots? They are too chicken to stay around. We have chased them away. Let them continue blowing hot and cold from exile, their lovely adopted nations. We shall continue to rule here in Naija. We are the owner of Lord Lugard’s Company. It is our inheritance. Period

Ah, there’s something I haven’t told anybody in my life. If you want to fight a Yoruba wo/man, just make friend with another Yoruba – and victory shall be yours. It’s definitely a cause on them by Afonja. They would never stop fighting one another. Yeah, Olu Falae is my liberty, equality, and fraternity...

Robot  Villager

# 1 These poor, naive and confused Naija people self. They never cease to amaze me. They are blind, deaf...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 01.09.2006 13:31

EezeeBee  Villager

# 2 Hakeem, if this isn't an excellent article, I don't know what is! I wish I could rate it much more than once! I think you captured the tone, tenor and texture of Babangida's inner musings to a 'T'. Posted by EezeeBee| 01.09.2006 13:35

ATLien  Villager

# 3 Excellent, excellent article. Posted by ATLien| 01.09.2006 14:28

WaleAkin  Villager

# 4 Hakeem, Good article you have there!! At his (IBB) last birthday, he addressed a mammoth gathering of buddies and sycophants and i quote "I untend to lead the process of making Nigeria a more peaceful, united, prosperous, secure, orderly and law abding nation. We must face the challenges of the free market together, leaving no one behind", IBB does not believe he has done something wrong and this the crux of the matter. God help us all Cheers, WaleAkin Posted by WaleAkin| 01.09.2006 14:28

VOR  Villager

# 5 Brilliant piece, Hakeem!! This is so true, we talk and dont back up with action. We have people amongst us who will sell their souls in an instant. We have yorubas that have become enemies of the group. If IBB can do one thing for me personally, he should name all those yoruba "elders" who supported him when he annulled the June 12 election. We need to cleanse our land of such people!!! If Nigerians were not "supportive" of IBB and the rest we will not have had them ruling over us for such a long time. push a Nigerian against the wall and he/she goes through the wall and starts on the other side!! We need to act, enough is enough!! if not this guy like joke like joke, will come back to take over "their inheritance" in 2007. Posted by VOR| 01.09.2006 14:38

Auspicious  Villager

# 6 Wow! An essay of sarcasms, of bitter truths, of funny truths and exergerrated truths - all of them convoluted into one great rambling but entertaining piece by Hakeem! I am trying not to get carried away by the humor et al of this piece and instead focus on the painful truths therein. Somehow, someday, we shall muster the collective courage to defeat those who wish to keep us shackled to their vices in our land. Auspicious. Posted by Auspicious| 01.09.2006 14:39

Aisha  Villager

# 7 Hakeem, I'm very impressed with this write up. Impressed with your growth as a writer. I'll be looking out for more great articles from you. Posted by Aisha| 01.09.2006 15:00

Onos  Villager

# 8 Well done, Babalola. Excellent article without the big grammar. Nice choice of words. Easy to read. I truly enjoyed it. Like Naija For Life wrote somewhere, we (Nigerians) are all cowards which is why people like IBB can and will continue to take us all for a ride. Perhaps our cowardice stems from the fact that if you stand up and stick your neck out to fight against these rogue leaders, majority of the people will never back you up. And if you get killed, then you've simply thrown your life away for nothing. Posted by Onos| 01.09.2006 15:10

kvin33  Villager

# 9 IBB will be stopped! He knows what is about to rain down on him, he is not stupid. He has already fallen into the first trap. My big fear was that he'll withdraw and 2011, we'll be back asking these same questions again! He will be disgraced and embarrased and rejected unequivocally. Once and for all this seemingly eternal threat hanging over our heads will be removed. You know in politics coverage is coverage, there is nothing like bad coverage. By that, I agree he seems to be winning the media war right now, he keeps getting free articles, coverage, and comments. No other aspirant is so fortunate. The IBB operation is capitalizing on this free media hoping that repeating the name IBB will somehow decrease the ever increasing revulsion Nigerians experience whenever that name is mentioned. He can support who/whatever he wants. We don't want him in Aso Rock again!!! We have had enough of him. No doubt he was for all intents and purposes a creature of his time, he may not be especially evil. However, IBB represents the past, a very unpleasant one at that. We must not be forced to relive the IBB days. He has done his best, it wasn't good enough, someone else should try. IBB will be stopped!! IBB will not "rule" Nigeria again. One way or the other! All Nigerians must understand that the IBB threat is clear and present, we need to come together and reject the IBB atempt to drive Nigeria once again into the ditch. Posted by kvin33| 01.09.2006 17:17

kunleq8@yahoo.com

# 10 Sir In the words of poor Hadjia Vasta "Babalanlord" is merely hallucinating.He must have woken up when the sleep was deepest. In due course we wil all know the first Nigerian president, a drug barooon. the the oldest and most experienced coup ploter He is as big and as stupid as the osrtich It is only the ostrich that will bury its head in the sand leaving the entire body outside and yet believing no one see him. The fact is even if Baba Iyabo endorses is candidature. his coming aaround this time again is acid test to the corporate exisitence of this Niger village. Enough of anything goes in Niger village politics Period Posted by kunleq8@yahoo.com| 03.09.2006 04:51

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