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Remember Oba Odewale? He was the protagonist in The
Gods are not to Blame. Ola Rotimi, that erudite scholar and director
wrote that dramatic masterpiece set in 15th century
Yorubaland. He patterned it after Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex. Oba
Odewale inadvertently fulfilled prophecy by killing his father and marrying his
mother. Upon realizing the incestuous relationship, the Oba gouged out
his own eyes and went into self-exile, while his mother committed
suicide. We will examine incest in this article.
From a clinical viewpoint, incest is repulsive as well as
fascinating. When my patients recount their experience of incest, I am
appalled yet curious. There is something in human nature that draws us to
things ghoulish and macabre. Moviegoers with a flair for scary movies
will tell you they how scared they get when they watch horror movies.
These individuals will also tell you that they just cannot seem to pry them
selves away from the big screens featuring chilling storylines. Recent
allegations of incest among some prominent Nigerian families have attracted an
avalanche of bloggers, writers and commentators. What exactly is incest?
Incest is as old as time itself. The 19th
Chapter of the book of Genesis in the holy Bible records incest between
Lot
and his daughters. Incest is a cultural term that describes sexual
contact between closely related persons, especially between members of a
nuclear family i.e. between parents and children or between siblings.
Incest can also be sexual liaisons between adult members of a family. A
blood relationship does not have to be established before such sexual acts
qualify as incest. When individuals live together under the same roof as
a family, sexual intercourse between such is incest. Example, a
stepmother sleeping with her stepson is incest. A grandfather sleeping
with the adopted foster child is incest.
Incest is different from childhood sexual abuse. A
child can be sexually assaulted by a stranger, that does not qualify as
incest. However, intrafamilial child sexual abuse is what occurs when an
adult parent sexually assaults a biological child or a minor in the
family. Incest on the other hand can occur between family members of all
ages. We also must not ignore elderly sexual abuse where adult children or
caregivers sexually abuse frail senior citizens.
Incest can be consensual in situations where both parties
are adults and mutually consent to the sexual activity. As recent as
2007, the German courts intervened in the case of a brother, Patrick Stubing
and his biological sister, Susan Karolewski. They had given birth to 4 children
from their incestuous relationship. Incest that occurs between underage
siblings often has the older child coercing the younger child by virtue of the
power differential in the relationship; as such, a situation cannot be
described as consensual.
The principal actor and instigator in majority of incest
cases are males, usually the father, stepfather, uncle or brother while in
child sexual cases, majority of the victims are female i.e. daughters,
stepdaughters, grandchildren, cousins etc. Some research shows that up to
95% of offenders in sexual abuse cases are men. We can establish from the
above that when a man engages in sexual activity with his underage daughter he
is engaging in incest as well as intrafamilial child sexual abuse.
While certain sectors of some societies had traditions of
incestuous marriages i.e. royal families in ancient Egypt and Europe, virtually
all ethnic groups and communities frown on incest, classify it as taboo and
visit stiff penalties on defaulters. In the
US,
some states classify incest as a felony and offenders are punished under the
law. The Yoruba of Nigeria as well many other African ethnic groups
ostracize and socially sanction incest participants as the practice is viewed
as an abomination. In the biblical book of Leviticus, incest carried a
death penalty.
What are characteristics of incestuous families?
Traditionally such families are described by terms such as dysfunctional,
secretive, psychologically, physically and socially isolated. Incestuous
fathers are profiled as emotionally immature, rigid and patriarchal.
Mothers in incestuous families may be chronically ill, emotionally needy, in
denial or often away from home on overnight trips. These mothers’ roles are
viewed negatively within clinical paradigms. Women (non-African) known to
me have described situations where their mothers came in, found their fathers
raping them, and did absolutely nothing about the abuse for many years.
The victim because of fear, shame and coercion by the family
often conceals incest. Imagine a child who is being molested frequently
by his parent. Whom can he turn to for help? A writer explained
that a child who is molested by a stranger can run home for help and comfort,
but the child victim of incest cannot. Such children are dependent and
entrapped in these sick families. Throw into this mix superstitions, fetish
rituals and unhealthy respect for elders and you have a child victim in
bondage.
Children are not physically or psychologically prepared to
handle recurring sexual stimulation and sexual abuse often has a lasting
negative impact on the life of the victims. Child victims of incest and
child sexual abuse present with certain peculiar traits and behaviors.
These include a host of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety,
personality disorders, and post traumatic stress disorders. Other
behaviors include nightmares, aggression and sexual promiscuity. The
following true case below should not surprise readers. Identifying
information has been disguised to protect identities of the victims.
Feyi’s story
Feyi and her husband have been married for 12 years and have
three children. Feyi described herself as being very angry, anxious and
unhappy. She sometimes has intense urges to harm herself but does not
know why. Feyi and her younger sisters were victims of incest by their
father. Her father from the age of nine sexually abused Feyi until she
was 13. She is particularly angry with her mother for not protecting her
from the abuse. Her father stopped sexually abusing her when she turned
13 and was about to start her periods. Her father turned his sights to
his next pre menstrual daughter, Feyi’s immediate younger sister. Feyi
ran away from home at the age of 14 and adopted a promiscuous lifestyle.
She reported that she has had countless sexual partners and engaged in a
variety of high-risk behaviors including abusing drugs and alcohol and
attempting suicide. Feyi admits to using sex as a tool to control her
partners. She stated, “It gives me power. I have the power at
night”. After her marriage, Feyi has continued to engage in sexual
activities with other men. She deliberately continues to seek out married
men.
Shrouding incest and child sexual abuse in mystery is
unhelpful. Denying that such acts occur among Nigerians is
counterproductive. We need to recognize that educational attainment,
ethnicity, geographical location or social class does not limit incest.
Look around you. That withdrawn child in your Sunday school class or
mosque might be a victim of child sexual abuse. That promiscuous girl on
your street may be an incest survivor. That nice woman in your office may
be a perpetrator. By establishing trusting relationships with people, you
may be able to offer them help and support. By becoming more aware of
one’s environment and asking questions, neighbors, nurses, teachers and
everyday folks may help rescue victims of incest from an unbearable situation.
Finally, by providing education on sex, treatment for victims and focusing on preventive
measures, we as a society can provide hope and succor to those who are trapped
in incest or live with the residual effects of this damaging practice.
Dr Osundeko is a mother, author and clinician. She writes
from the
USA.
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Posted by Robot| 18.01.2008 00:53