23 Jan 2009 |
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9ija Man: Oh boy come o, I dey go yanki tomorrow, I dey go see Obama(obiohma) Omo onile: Did he invite you, you don’t even have a passport, talkmore of a visa to travel 9ijaMan: Visa, what do I need visa for, since Obama is the president now, I don’t need visa anymore Omo onile: Who told you so, everyone entering another country apart from theirs needs a passport or another form of entry. 9ija man: Na you know, me I dey go yanki tomorrow Omo onile: Good luck 9ija man: Let me rehearse my conversation with obama when I get there 9ija man: Obiohma, obiohma, obiohma, how many times I call you, che che che, you talk am, and you do am, na you, biko Obama: Thank you, sir, but how can I help you 9ijaman: Before we begin talk, take hand, take hand, make I feel as president hand be. Infact, I don dey feel president myself Obama; Thank you again, but in what way can I help you 9ija man: You know, as God don make you reach this position, wey all our fore fore fathers don dey pray for, for some many years. Ah, we must not miss this opportunity, as they say, na once in a lifetime affair. Obama; You seems to be going round and round, cut to the chase, bro. 9ija man: Okay, okay, I know sey you busy, “Anything for the boyz” Obama: Sorry, how do you mean, are you looking for a job or something 9ija man: Yes, I no go mind work, but you know sey man get to keep soul and body together, no be for this cold weather. I get one or two “ Ghana must go”bag here, make we “settle” Obama: You speak in some strange tongue and metaphors, can you be more explicit 9ijaman: Ok, ok, you see where I come from(infact, where we, as your papa come from there also)when we get into office, we are happy(just as you were, infact, we see as you dey dance with aunty Michelle). Then we show that happiness/gratitude by our “offering” Obama: So, what do you want me to offer you 9ijaman: anything, as I said I have a “Ghana must go” bag, if you fill one I should be happy but as president, I’m sure you can fill 2 or 3. in which case I would fall down and worship you. Obama: Sorry, you got a bag, and you want me to fill it, with what? 9ijaman:Ah, Obiohma, pikin no know medicine, he call am vegetable. That why you should have stayed at home a bit more, we would have taught you the way things are done at home. Obama: I am getting a bit irritated now, it’s my first day in office and there is a lot in my in-tray. 9ijaman: Ok, ok, make you fill this Ghana must go with dollars, if na only one I go happy, but you fit make am 2 or 3. Obama: What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 9ijaman: I beg no shout now, wetin I talk now, wey person no dey say. I say make you fill this bag with money. You fit even make am, pounds sterling Obama: You must be out of your mind, I need to make a call 9ijaman: Wait wait, no be like that, you no need call Federal Reserve, you no get safe here, where we fit finish am, here and now Obama: As I said I need to call the security service to come and arrest you. 9ijaman:Ah, ah no be like that now, I think sey you go understand, if nothing for the boyz, I beg make I just dey go jeje, I no wan go chop beans Obama: I must get the immigration service to get you back to where you came from 9ijaman: Okay, ok, I dey go, no vex, I think sey na so you dey do for here also. Obama: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and that’s no way government ought to be run 9ijaman: Okay, sorry sey I waste your time, maybe after 1year in office you go understand, I go come back then.
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