10 Sep 2009 |
|
As I sat hip to hip in the bus from Ondo heading to Ore with Funke, I was embroiled in motley of thoughts. I visualized the scenario that was to unfold. My heart drummed a painful rub-a-dub as I knew that would be the last time I would see Funke in my life. I had technically, that morning, convinced her that I was taking her to my place in Lagos. She was agog. She had never been to Lagos all her life. I looked at her basking in that euphoria, I shook my head. If only she knew what I had in mind, a mischievous plan I had moulded coalesced down in my mind. ‘Dayo are you serious?’ she asked, her eyes glowing with excitement. ‘Sure,’ I said, trying to sound nice and fawning. As we boarded the bus, the thought of my plan was overbearing. I told myself to take it easy and relax. Hot soup needs patience, I told myself. ‘Dayo’ she snapped me out of my brown study. ‘I want to buy gala’ I bought five and gave them to her. I looked at her as she munched the snacks. She returned my look and a soft smile lit up her face. She looked more beautiful. An upsurge of adrenalin coursed through me. I managed to smile back. ‘I love you’, I whispered into her ear. My conscience pricked me. I felt my brain congealed at the thought of what was to take place. Funke had never ceased to thrill me. Each time I set my eyes on her beautiful features I knew she had all I ever wanted in my woman. I could not also deny the fact that I loved her. If I did, I’d be deceiving myself which is the worst sort of deceit a man can tell himself. I still felt for Funke. True, she made my heart skip a bit. But the die was cast. I had to call it quit with her. I had to save my sanity or else something terrible might happen. If I loved her, I loved her. A one way love was as worst as working without pay; investing one’s emotion where it does not yield dividends. We were half way when I began, ‘Funke’. I paused for some minutes to rehearse what I had to say. ‘I think it is time I told you some home truths and the truth is that my love for you has got a wound. A wound that can’t be healed even with time. There is absolutely nothing left for me and you. It is finished. Over between us. She was demure. If what I said hit her, she did not show it. She had the heart of a lion. ‘Frankly,’ I continued. ‘When I first met you God knows I had a very good intentions but the embers of that love you doused with your water of infidelity. I showered you real love. Love that devoid reservations, love that was not selfish on my part but you frustrated me and made me go through untold mental and physical trauma.’ ‘But you told me this morning you still love me. I thought you have forgotten the past,’ she said. ‘Definitely, I still love you as ever. That I cannot deny. My opinion of you has not changed a bit even though you treated me like a fly that dropped in your cup of tea. The wound still hurts. I want the love to die. I want it to go cold like ash and be scattered. Even now I cannot tell why I loved you so, why I never ceased thinking my existence was a drab without you. Perhaps I was being irrational, controlled by foolish fancies. If I was blind before now I can see. It will be foolish of me if after all these I still resolve to go ahead with the bunkum you call love. Love is only blind to those that are blind. ‘Money is good in any relationship but it shouldn’t be the ultimate. As I always told you, there are three basic ingredients in any relationship to make its boat sail smoothly. They are the tripod, the pillars that uphold any relationship to stand the test of time; love, understanding and honesty. You have to love your partner, show understanding and trust and be trusted. ‘it was this love that made me turn deaf ears to buddies who asked me to reject you, it was this same love that made me tell you the skeleton in my life, it was love that ate me up and I starved myself to see that you got education, it was this love that I thought and bridled my emotion by not having any other besides you, just because I thought of you, of love. I divulged everything about my life to you and yet…’ I had ranted on and on like that until we got to the garage. Dismounting from the vehicle, I heaved up my hold all. I sprinted to the other side of the road to catch a Lagos car. She stood gawking at me. I felt sorry for her. What a disgrace. She had told everybody she was going to Lagos for a week and here she was in quandary. I was sure she had no dough with her as I had told earlier she should not bother to take any. I looked back and saw tears rippling down her beautiful cheeks. I laughed. That was the first time I saw her cry. I glanced back again; she was still standing there, crying. I felt no remorse for her. She had made me go through such, even much more than that. I settled myself at the front seat of the Peugeot station wagon as the driver gunned the engine. My mind traversed back to those days, those days when I was in the heat of passion. When I thought I had met the person after my heart. It had been my major resolve ever since I was a kid to lay my hand on big money. That made me ambitious. My ambition was like the spots of a Leopard. My ambition for big money burned inside me with the intensity of a blow-torch flame. During the time I was a hobo I had spent hours thinking and scheming about how to get my hands on the big dough. The opportunity came while I was working at a 5-star hotel in Lagos. I met guys who were as ambitious as I was there. I and three others looted the company to the tune of N2.5million. The loot was successful. But the human race was never satisfied. If a guy has N10, he will want N20. If he has N5, 000, he’ll want ten. This is human nature. The more they have, the more they want. Three months after we decided to go for a bigger break. But unlike the first one, there was a blow back. When I got the wind the cops were after us I took my passbook in which I banked the first money after I had bought a Bluebird car and headed for our village. An instinct told me the place would be the first to look for me. Without the car I headed to a friend in Ondo. That was how I got to Ondo. And that was where I met Funke. In my existence, I had met and gone out with different girls; when in secondary, tertiary schools. Even when I was doing my Youth Service programme. But these intimacies which I regarded as love were not deep or sincere. There was a part of me, the thinking part which seemed to stand out it all, watching the passionate embrace with cynical disdain. But with Funke it was different. It had been from the very start. When I met her, I had fallen head over heels in love with her. I shed all my inhibitions, unlocked the doors of my heart, rolled out the red carpet and set the cymbals clanging for her to come in. That evening after the drizzle, in a salon, Tony, my crony, was saying something but I was not listening. I was staring at a girl who had just breezed in. She was a light complexioned senorita with a neat figure, long legs and long narrow feet. She wore a white jeans trousers red sandals and a red high necked jersey. I felt a little prickle of excitement. Tony noticed her too. He whistled softly ‘what a beauty personified’. He had pronto warned me to forget her. Tony was one of those narrow minded, dreadful people who believed all beautiful women were born immoral. But I had cut him off. I believed in experimenting. It was a love at first sight. Actually, I really don’t know the exact moment I fell in love with Funke. It could easily have been when I first set my eyes on her; when she had seemed to me the embodiment of beauty, when the sight of her had hit me like a physical blow. Or it could have been one evening at Adeyemi College of Education when we were sitting under the tree, when I looked up and met her eyes and we looked at each other. Her clear brown eyes, the round face, the long sulky blonde hair, the brave breasts straining against the white cotton dress made a tremendous impact on me. I placed my lips on hers. A wave like that of electric current coursed through me. I had kissed ladies before but this was a kiss you dream about; a kiss that kept you in bondage of wanting more. I knew right then she was the type of girl I could marry. I remember the first day we had a bicker, I had gone to see her in the school. I had encouraged her to go back to school that I would be responsible for everything she would need when she told me that she dropped from school due to her parents’ inability to sponsor her. Ever since I gave her money for school fees and other money needed. ‘When are you finishing your lecture?’ I asked her. ‘We should be through by 6pm’ My wristwatch chimed 2.34pm ‘ok I’d meet you at home then’ ‘Do not stay long because I’d be missing you if you do’ I gave her a light peck as I turned to go. Some minutes after six, I was at her place. Inside I met a guy sitting down on the red. She herself had spruced up for outing. I felt fury drenched my skin like a bucket of ice cold water. I kept my cool. ‘I am going out’ that hit me like a sledged hammer’ ‘Going out? But you did not tell me this before’ I challenged ‘I did not know I’d he going out’ ‘Who is this guy anyway?’ ‘I don’t know’ ‘You don’t know?’ I stood there, fighting down a murderous impulse in me. ‘So you are what they call you. I thought you were a responsible, decent girl. I never knew you were such an irresponsible, shameless idiot. Upon all I have been doing for you. You….’ ‘You have started. Okay I want to lock my room if you’ll excuse me. You may call back if you like’, she said. The guy, like a shoe shiner stood there feasting his eyes with the little drama. I felt devastated. I was still in this doldrums at home when Tony barged in. I narrated what happened to him. ‘Forget this bastard of a girl. The rumour I gathered about her is nothing to write home about’. ‘Tony, this is serious this girl has really thrown a hook in me. There is something about her…. Something special that I cannot explain.’ ‘I think you should consult your senses Dayo. In the first instance this girl is too low for you in everything. I don’t see why you should be wasting your money and everything on this useless girl while there are other better fish in the ocean. I’d advise you forget her and give yourself a break,’ Tony had said. And that was exactly what I would do – forget her. But instead of me to stand by my gun, I found myself, like a motorized effigy, heading to her place the fourth day. The previous days were like hell for me. I had her in me like virus. Love is an irresistible feeling. I know as most of my readers know that when a man is in love with a lady as I was with Funke I reckon he is little out of his head. ‘Funke’ I said as I rested my buttock ‘what has got into your head?’ She did not respond. ‘is like you don’t know how much I love you. You know that and that is why you behaving this way. You are taking my love for granted. Or do you have anything you are concealing from me? Are you engaged to someone?’ ‘No’ she said ‘Don’t you love me?’ ‘I do but…’ ‘But what’ ‘I am indeed sorry for the past. I wish I could change’ she was as calm as unruffled as a Bishop presiding over a tea party. ‘What exactly is the problem?’ ‘My experience has taught me never to trust any man. As I 5told you before when I finished my secondary education there was no helper so I took up a job of office clerk. It was there I met Deji. I gave all my heart to him, thinking I had found true love. but I was to find out that he was unreliable after two years. After he dumped me I was tempted to give my hearty to another man who made me believe I had arrived. For the months we were together, it seemed no one could penetrate our twosome world. Like you he made it clear to me that if there was any woman he should settle with some day, it was me. I was pregnant for him. When I told him he was infuriated, he turned a wolf, and accused me of being careless. He counted some money and handed over to me saying, ‘go get rid of the bastard’ The abortion was a harrowing experience. After that I stayed clear of men. But along the line I dropped my guard and Sunday moved in. He made me see hell on heart…’ tears rushed down her face with a certain impetuosity known of bitter memories. I snuggled close to her. ‘It is not the end of the world for you. Every dark cloud has a silver lining. I can assure you of my love. I’ll be there for you.’ It was then I told her about my coming to Ondo. ‘But why must you do that?’ ‘Once you are landed with my kind of ambition, Funke, you were stuck with it. So I had to scram when they were looking for us.’ Why did you decide to come here and not travel out?’ ‘Maybe that was the mistake I made. Maybe I should have got the hell out of the co8ntry. But I know God has a purpose for me to be here. And I am absolutely sure you are that purpose.’ She giggled. ‘what is your plan now?’ ‘I am staying till the dust settles down’. I showed her the missive I received from a friend who I asked to keep me abreast of the situation. K.O., Yours received. The coast is not yet clear. Your apartment was ransacked. SD.G has left for Spain while D.T. and M. O. are arrested. Extra carefulness required. I’d be in Accra next month on a 3-month ‘intelligence course’. ASPASS will feed you on the latest. Take no risk. I repeat. TAKE NO RISK. Yours FLDA I told her of my plan to marry her after I might have gotten myself out of the problem I was in. I look forward to that day, when she would be mine and mine alone. That night we both drifted into ecstasy of mutual experience. Funke hardly allowed fun. For almost five months we had been pulling it she only allowed me to make love with her for three times out of which I enjoyed two. Yet my love for her did not diminish. We dozed the way satiated lovers always doze. The room was cool, the light dim. The rustle of leaves in the breeze was the only sound to come through the open window. Three weeks later, I had gone to her place. I was gay. I went to pick her out and later pass the night with her. She was not in when I got there. I decided to wait. Not long she emerged with a man who accompanied her. I did not give a hoot. The man could just be somebody. But to my consternation she told me the man was sleeping there when I unfolded my plan, whet a hell? I THOUGFHT. ‘Infact you are a disgrace to womenfolk. I thought you’ve changed. What do you expect to achieve from all these? Nothing. Nothing. They’ll only fuck you and like orange seeds dump you. I never starved you with anything I don’t know what else you are after. Ladies like you aren’t fit to live and ladies like you make me want to throw up’. ‘Have you finished?’ I resisted the urge to slap her. She did not come back until the following day. When she came to my place that day ‘but Funke, the fact that you were jilted does not mean you wont settle down one day. 6you don’t expect a man to marry you in this way.’ ‘When the right man comes I will stop’ ‘What will make that man different? That was how you made mistake in the past. You never learnt a lesson.’ ‘I know you cannot marry me after all these. So there is no point in playing a saint anymore.’ ‘Come if you promise me you will change I’ll forget what has gone’ sthere was something about this girl that always broke down my determination and will power. I found myself kissing and holding her to me as if I were afraid she would try to get away. I could see her breasts lifting and falling under her shirt. She made a picture I kept in mind, a picture that would torment me for the rest of my days. ‘I pray God helps me to change.’ She said softly. The final straw that broke the camel back was the time she told me her mother sent for her. When I saw her she was with a man. That was when my plan grew wings. Holding her hand that morning before I set for Lagos I felt a vicious cold and revengeful feeling crept up my heart. Looking at her my love for her dissolved into the air like a wisp of smoke. This was a girl I shown so much for. A girl I had spent a fortune for to see that she became someone academically. A feeling of hatred ran through me but I hid it. As I held her hand I made up my mind to take her to Lagos and dump her somewhere but I changed my mind and instead I left her at Ore.
|
||||||||||||||||||
# 
Your Comments
Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.