Nigerians: The Happiest People And The Most Stupid

The festival of life (FOL) is London’s equivalent of Holy Ghost night - the monthly gathering of Christians in Nigeria, irrespective of denominations, at the redeemed Christian church camp to offer prayers and praises to God. Although the FOL is held twice a year at the Excel centre in East London, it is already turning into a ritual similar to the one at home. The turnout is always massive and the passion generated at the event is just typical of any gathering of devoted Nigerian Christians.

Politicians, clergymen from the Church of England, and other non-governmental organizations have started to associate very closely with this event. This somehow underscores the socio-political significance of the gathering. The former mayor of London, Ken Livingstone, once used the occasion to campaign during an election period and was given a tacit endorsement by the Nigerian churches but still lost anyway. Yes, he lost, partly because the Nigerian population in London is hardly significant to guarantee him any success at the polls. Besides that, the British electorate are not as dumb as those in Nigeria. That statement is actually my own hypothesis.

According to official statistics released in US, Nigerians are rated amongst the most highly educated foreigners. It is likely to be the same in the United Kingdom. But we are easily one of the most stupid also. We might be one of the most educated but the level of ignorance on display by even the educated lot is so amazing that I don’t think anything can salvage the country from her destined self-destruction. The horrible smell of our collective stupidity has reached high heavens and I think God can no longer stand the stench and that probably explains the type of leadership in every sphere of our lives. I know I have a lot of explanations to give for this generalization.  

Wait! I don’t think I need to go far before getting evidence to back up my hypothesis on our collective stupidity. For example, if less than one million rogues are able to suppress the will and aspirations of over one hundred and forty-nine million people, what better explanation can one give for such a scenario? Well, I trust Nigerians they will give loads of reasons. But, I don’t really care about the reasons. I am only stating a fact.

For a start, my intention is not to discuss why the few stupid rogues are able to overwhelm the huge majority and push them into a state of unbelievable docility. Other people can talk about that. I am more concerned about the stupid one hundred and forty–nine million who believed that it is God’s will for the majority to live in abject poverty in the midst of plenty.

There was even a poll conducted not too long ago that gave justification to our stupidity, which gave further credence to my hypothesis. The poll claimed that we are the happiest people on earth. Jesus Christ! There is nothing more sinister than such ridicule. How could any group of people stay happy when they are in pitch darkness for twenty out of twenty-four hours in a day? Infant and maternal mortality rate is continuously one of the highest in the world. And of course life expectancy is about forty-five years for male. This means that if you are forty five, male and reading this article, you are one of the lucky few who are still alive because most of your mates who could not leave the country are already dead, and you are likely to be dead before the end of the week either through a ghastly motor accident on those death-traps called roads, or through ingestion of fake drugs or one equally stupid and mad police man would simply blow your brains out and nothing will happen. Anyway, never mind; just be happy, you are just another stupid Nigerian.

As I mentioned briefly earlier, one of the most compelling evidence of our level of stupidity can be seen in our attitude to religion. It is always God’s will. If Ya’Ardua suddenly drops dead tomorrow, as he likely would eventually anyway, (renal failure is a terminal ailment, and only transplant and not his stupid faith in some miracle can save him) and a few morons decided that Good-luck Jonathan is not from the North and therefore cannot become the next president, it would simply be God’s will. We would all write articles and scream on the pages of newspaper about the unconstitutionality of the decision but nothing would happen. We are clowns in Nigeria and the whole world is laughing at us. We all know that clowns act stupidly to make children laugh. So you can see that my hypothesis will eventually take shape.

Therefore, I daresay that religion will remain one of the greatest impediments to our greatness in Nigeria. Alternatively, if the influence of religion is effectively utilized it can actually be a useful tool for development.  

Take a look at the North where Islam is the dominant religion. The wretched religious clerics in that part of the country can easily mobilize more than five million street urchins to wreck havoc on all Igbo traders because an unidentified person used a torn page from the Quran to wipe his bum after defecating. Has anyone ever wondered why it was always the Igbos? Meanwhile, they have never ever organised a peaceful rally to express their displeasure at the lack of development in the area.

The North is probably only second to the Stone Age in terms of human capital development. Even those in that age used their brains to fabricate sophisticated tools for hunting purposes. And then the joke of the century is when Forbes magazine suddenly came up with the story that the only billionaire from Nigeria is actually from that part of the country. Well, he is not the government so what is he supposed to do? I beg to differ. This guy has one of the most potent clouts in any government in Nigeria. He can advocate and strive to see that something is done. Bill Gates has used billions of dollars of his money to fight malaria. There is no malaria in America but it kills millions of children in Africa every year. 

Christianity is the fastest growing industry in the southern part of the country. The pastors are growing fat while the congregation are burdened by the harsh economic conditions. All the rogues in government are elders in one church or the other. The churches are like second homes to looters of the treasury. They are chairmen or chairpersons of one church building committee or the other. The pastors are always saying special prayers for them and have no scruples about taking their stolen money.

The churches now buy private jets for their chief executive officers (oh sorry, pastor) and are shameless enough to claim that it is for evangelism. Meanwhile, half the congregation of those churches live on less than $1,000 in a year while most of the youth are jobless. Yes, the pastors are not the ones to provide jobs; but how many times have they criticised the government for not creating those jobs? How many times have they told them that they cannot continue to loot the treasuries and then come around to the house of God to make some bogus claims of God’s blessings in their lives?

During the last American election, religious leaders were very vocal in their criticism of one government policy or the other. They do not keep quiet and say it is God’s will. Barack Obama’s pastor, Reverend Wright, was so vocal about his criticism of America’s racial divide that he became a big threat to his election prospect. That is the job of a pastor- saying the truth as it is, and not only collecting tithes and junketing about in private jets in the name of evangelism.

Pastor Tunde Bakare is the only pastor that I respect in Nigeria. He told Obasanjo to his face that he is evil. That is a real man of God. I worship with RCCG but not impressed that all manner of past and present rogue governors and ministers tend to associate with the overseer. They are always present at the Holy Ghost nights. They have probably repented and God has forgiven them and they are free to enjoy the loot till they die. A thief is a thief. I don’t care if God has forgiven them. What manner of forgiveness is that anyway? How about the thousands that died on the roads that he refused to tar? How about the thousands of kids that died because there was no free Medicare?

The Yorubas of South-West are the most pathetic. They are quick to boast of their education and sophistication. Meanwhile, Adedibu and Obasanjo were the best they could come up with as national leaders. The former was the head of street urchins while the latter has a reputation for sleeping with his children’s wives.

I am actually fed up discussing and writing articles about our thieving leaders. They will never change anyway, at least not through our lengthy articles or criticism. If you believed that Ya’Ardua and his PDP cohorts will not rig 2011 election, then you are even more stupid than an average Nigerian. Your own stupidity is extra-terrestrial. If you believed that the electoral reform would lead anywhere, I despise your sense of reasoning. If anyone believes that Nigeria will wobble and fumble (a la Fanny Amun!) into greatness, then I leave you alone to perish as a nonentity who only came to this world to look at Eko Bridge. (Or London bridge)

The Igbos and the Ijaws are probably the ones that have been most rebellious, the least religious and hence the least stupid. Maybe that is where the hopes of Nigeria lie. They would never accept that something is the will of God simply because somebody said so. They are difficult to subjugate and that is one of the reasons there was a civil war in the first place. Ojukwu remains a true hero. Why would some group of murderers continue to kill your people over some flimsy excuses? If I was an Igbo, I would be a low-life not to fight under those circumstances. He fought for what he believed in and the Igbo people followed him because they are not stupid like my people, the Yorubas. Although they lost the war and millions of lives were lost, but I know that they live to fight another day as long as some people continue to deter the progress of others.

The Ijaws have taken over the struggle and though there have been some criminality in the struggle, that is not unexpected, but by and large they have shown that people’s destiny is in their own hands and God’s will has nothing to do with it.  

Yar’Adua and the looters of the treasury, both at the federal and state level, have started to panic as MEND cripples the oil industry. MEND, a ragtag bunch of militias have exposed the weakness of the Nigerian government. They quickly and with lightening speed offered them amnesty. They knew if there is no more oil, there wouldn’t be any Nigeria. They planned to kill twenty million Ijaws to satisfy the lust and cravings of those vampires in Abuja.

Nigeria cannot continue to be the butt of jokes in the world. We cannot continue to believe that everything is the will of God. It is not God’s will to lack the basic things of life, and certainly not his will that our children should still be dying from malaria because there are no good hospitals. Untimely death from accident on death traps called road is not the will of God. All these things are the creations of the rogues amongst us and we have aided and abetted their actions because we have kept silent and didn’t act. Our lack of action is construed as acceptability; we are therefore very stupid collectively.

Robot  # 1 | 28.06.2009 07:56

The Yorubas of South-West are the most pathetic. They are quick to boast of their education and sophistication. Meanwhile, Adedibu and Obasanjo were the best they could come up with as national leaders. The former was the head of street urchins while the latter has a reputation for sleeping with his children’s wives. ...Read the full article.

Anioma777  # 2 | 28.06.2009 09:55

@ Dr Olusola Osineye Therefore, I daresay that religion will remain one of the greatest impediments to our greatness in Nigeria. Alternatively, if the influence of religion is effectively utilized it can actually be a useful tool for development. Take a look at the North where Islam is the dominant religion. The wretched religious clerics in that part of the country can easily mobilize more than five million street urchins to wreck havoc on all Igbo traders because an unidentified person used a torn page from the Quran to wipe his bum after defecating. Has anyone ever wondered why it was always the Igbos? Meanwhile, they have never ever organised a peaceful rally to express their displeasure at the lack of development in the area. The North is probably only second to the Stone Age in terms of human capital development. Even those in that age used their brains to fabricate sophisticated tools for hunting pus. And then the joke of the century is when Forbes magazine suddenly came up with the story that the only billionaire from Nigeria is actually from that part of the country. Well, he is not the government so what is he supposed to do? I beg to differ. This guy has one of the most potent clouts in any government in Nigeria. He can advocate and strive to see that something is done. Bill Gates has used billions of dollars of his money to fight malaria. There is no malaria in America but it kills millions of children in Africa every year. Christianity is the fastest growing industry in the southern part of the country. The pastors are growing fat while the congregation are burdened by the harsh economic conditions. All the rogues in government are elders in one church or the other. The churches are like second homes to looters of the treasury. They are chairmen or chairpersons of one church building committee or the other. The pastors are always saying special prayers for them and have no scruples about taking their stolen money. The churches now buy private jets for their chief executive officers (oh sorry, pastor) and are shameless enough to claim that it is for evangelism. Meanwhile, half the congregation of those churches live on less than $1,000 in a year while most of the youth are jobless. Yes, the pastors are not the ones to provide jobs; but how many times have they criticised the government for not creating those jobs? How many times have they told them that they cannot continue to loot the treasuries and then come around to the house of God to make some bogus claims of God’s blessings in their lives? Yar’Adua and the looters of the treasury, both at the federal and state level, have started to panic as MEND cripples the oil industry. MEND, a ragtag bunch of militias have exposed the weakness of the Nigerian government. They quickly and with lightening speed offered them amnesty. They knew if there is no more oil, there wouldn’t be any Nigeria. They planned to kill twenty million Ijaws to satisfy the lust and cravings of those vampires in Abuja. Wonderfully written article that takes no prisoners. I always maintain that alongside bad leadership and acute corruption, mis-use of Religion is another cancer killing Nigeria. To be honest its a miracle I am still a firm believer in God, because with the way most Nigerians have marketed God and the state of the nation it would have driven me to think..."hey na wah o, dis piple don play me wayo o!!" However my brother DO NOT GIVE UP ON OUR MOTHER LAND. In case you are not doing anything already, no matter HOW SMALL. Ask yourself what little difference can I make to impact a better Nigeria. We all are CUSTODIANS of Nigeria's future. The mere fact you have stated and know that OUR CURRENT PLIGHT IS SELF CREATED AND NOT THE WILL OF GOD, tells me you can see the bigger picture. Nigeria needs more people of your mindset to tell EVERY TRIBE HOW IT IS!!!!!. I salute you Dr.:hail:

Dapxin  # 3 | 28.06.2009 10:26

The frustration is getting a lot more desperate.... oh well! there goes another stupid Nigerian comment....

Albany  # 4 | 28.06.2009 14:22

The events that happened in Nigeria before, during and after the Biafran war (much more than religion or any other factor) are largely responsible for the inexplicable complacency amongst Nigerians vis-a-vis the corrupt ruling elite. For instance, the hi(story) making the rounds outside of Igboland has always been that Ojukwu was an over-ambitious soldier, who fought a senseless and ill-prepared war. We read that almost daily on this forum and elsewhere. It is interesting to note that you (perhaps because of your 'stupidity') have a contrary opinion. I can assure you, however, that most people on NVS would disagree with your quote below: The Igbos and the Ijaws are probably the ones that have been most rebellious, the least religious and hence the least stupid. Maybe that is where the hopes of Nigeria lie. They would never accept that something is the will of God simply because somebody said so. They are difficult to subjugate and that is one of the reasons there was a civil war in the first place. Ojukwu remains a true hero. Why would some group of murderers continue to kill your people over some flimsy excuses? If I was an Igbo, I would be a low-life not to fight under those circumstances. He fought for what he believed in and the Igbo people followed him because they are not stupid like my people, the Yorubas. Although they lost the war and millions of lives were lost, but I know that they live to fight another day as long as some people continue to deter the progress of others. Now, if most Nigerians (especially) outside of Igboland, after witnessing, hearing of or reading about the injustices that led to the Biafran war, still went ahead and blamed Ojukwu, how then do you expect them to rise against the oppression of the ruling elite over the years ? And on a final note, could you please share with us what efforts you made to rally your people against the charade that played out in Ekiti State a few weeks back or did you just take it as the will of God like the rest of the 'stupid' pack ?

ifeolooni  # 5 | 28.06.2009 14:55

the best article in a long time for me. the state of the church in nigeria is unacceptable, especially redeem is now becoming notorious ki olodumare shanu 'like my mother said a longtime ago a deacon in redeem will find it hard to bcome a sunday school teacher in foursquare' from jet to visits of very corrupt ppl in our socieety ,to allegation of one of its branches serving as venue for contract dealing for a minister still listened pastor tunde online today and he said umya is half dead and and half awake for omo oodua we are used to a central figure leading our fight and we are lacking one at the moment and our 'i dey kampe lifestyle' is not helping

Walking  # 6 | 28.06.2009 15:11

This is one of the most accurate dissection of an average Nigerian and a nation I have read in recent times. You have nailed it in the head accurately. I only feel very sad that I'm from a nation that have decided to go forward, but only backward. What should have been our strength, religion, is what they now use to rob us, yet console us for robbing us. The Pastors accuse us of robbing God, who does not even spend the money, but the Pastors rob us and live large and dont accuse themselves. Its so sad that they have ascribed our poverty to an act of God, in so much that we now believe that as true. And those telling us that would still encourage us to give the money we dont have so Pastor can be happy, because Pastors happiness is Gods happiness. I think this our God is too patient, I wish we could go back to the period before Christ(BC), where God gives intant judgement, so that this ***** of God(sorry men of God) can get instant judgement. Thanks once again for this article, Nigeria need people like you to bell the cat to our revolution, because all we need is a revolution.

Suleimana  # 7 | 28.06.2009 16:11

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And as for stupidity, giving up will be just the perfect thing. You reduced 'your share of stupidity' when you published this article. Lets us all cut down the national stupidity average by doing something smart, no matter how small. Drive like a human being, visit another part of the country, and share this write-up with another stupid Nigerian. I know it looks stupid to keep believing but not when you are actually 'walking the talk'. Just do something positive this week. I think you should note this-we do not have N149million Nigerians against the half a million rogues. The way it works, the maximum population at any point that can oppose the government is the largest ethnic group. So you might have 'these many Igbos against the rest of us' (instead of half a million rogues), that many Ijaws against the rest of us. That is the brilliance of the establishment. To the average northerner, the enemy is not OBJ and his cohorts but the Yoruba nation. The Igbos cannot see beyond what they establishment has programmed them to see- the Hausa-Fulani nation is the enemy, not Yar'Adua and his 'ruling class'. And now to the really contentious issue- we are mostly 'bad people'. I am saying that statistically, most Nigerians are simply not good enough for the country they dream of! How else does one explain that a random selection of people (different tribes, different religions, different backgrounds etc) in a traffic situation and every single time almost every one of them acts stupidly? As for explanation, our most favored- 1. It is because of years of military misrule 2. In the absence of enforcement, everybody behaves badly 3. It’s a jungle! I have always argued that when we begin to project positive values (help a child cross the road! Give up your seat for the elderly! Stop running the traffic lights! Don't throw thrash out of a moving car! Pick that log from the road and save a life!), a leader will emerge that will promote these values. Right now, our values are very materialistic and worldly and the best in these selfish values rule us today. I ask not to be taken too seriously. I am just another stupid Nigerian who prefers to spend his entire income providing private electricity, security, waste disposal, water and foreign education rather than step outside my house and protest. How stupid!

naijaninja  # 8 | 28.06.2009 19:52

Typical treatise of a self confessed STUPID FELLOW.long winding,full of sound and fury but signifying nothing! Dr Yakity yak, if religion is such a problem as identified by you, then,what the heck are you doing in RCCG? also,you must be a very poor student of history to state that the yorubas considers adedibu and obasanjo as their leaders,now that is very stupid statement.your sweeping generalisations are even more pathetic to say the least, what manner of doctor writes in such condescending manner? i beg speak strictly for yourself and the crowd that you belong to. if you consider yourself stupid, so be it (and personally, i think you`re right). As Fela kuti sang na craze talk be that, na animal talk be that for govt (and i add citizens)to shamelessly say "my people are useless, my people are senseless my people are indisciplined........... one is simply tired of the crass negativism pervading the cyberspace.the fact is that Nigeria is what we ALL made it to be and to make it work we need to seriously work at solutions and not keep moaning and whinging like pregnant donkeys on the internet....oga doctor what have you done for naija lately?

Unregistre  # 9 | 28.06.2009 21:57

Anioma should have provided the link to the article, I do not believe he pasted the whole article, now he wants us to see only what suits him. Anioma please provide us with the link to the article, that is the way it works here.

denker  # 10 | 29.06.2009 02:31

Religious violence looms in Kano •As non-muslims petition Yar’Adua over Hisbah COSMAS EKPUNOBI, Abuja Another round of violence appears to be looming in Kano State as leaders of non-Muslim residents in the state has petitioned President Umaru YarAdua, and Senate President, David Mark over the renewed attack on the people and wanton destruction of alcoholic drinks by Hisbah command, an agent set up by the state government to implement Sharia legal system in the state. Leaders of non indigenes in the state in a four page strong petition dated June 18 and made available to Daily Champion at the weekend declared that non Muslim would no longer fold their hands and watch the Hisbah command in the state unleash terror on innocent people under the guise of Sharia implementation. In the petition, they accused Governor Ibrahim Shekarau and the Nigerian police force of conspiracy of silence. They said the command had concentrated its attack in the recent times on non-Muslim residents in Sabon Gari, a predominantly non indigenes community in Kano State. The aggrieved non Muslims under the aegis of ‘leaders of ethnic communities resident in Kano State’ in the letter said the government outfit had in a year destroyed over 30 trailer load of assorted drinks worth N250million. The forum in the letter jointly signed by its president and secretary general Chief Tobias Idika and Prince Femi Adegoroye respectively alleged that the Hisbah command has taken over the job of Nigerian police and NDLEA in the state and mount road blocks in their search for alcoholic drinks in the state. They said some luxurious bus drivers and owners of such items plying any of the federal high ways in the state were victims of the activities of Hisbah. "Very fresh in memory is the incident of March 30 when Hisbah intercepted a truck conveying drinks to Maiduguri , after a thorough investigation by the Nigerian police , they charged the truck to a magistrate court which later released the truck upon finding that it was on transit plying a federal high way, but to the consternation of law abiding citizens, Hisbah after the court verdict , re arrested the truck at court premises , confiscated and destroyed the drinks." "There would have been a mother of all riots in Kano on May 28 when Hisbah under the pretence of pursing a truck made attempt to unleash terror on Sabon Gari residents. "To our greatest surprise, police and other security agents in Kano state have failed to be proactive , responsible and responsive on this issues, they seem to have been looking the other side while Hisbah constitue to disturb public peace. "They said a number of bus drivers and owners of drinks have been arrested and detained by the police and taken to court of their choice, "We as responsible citizens of this country and community burdened with the responsibility of ensuring peace and order are moved to draw the attention of the president on this matter and we wish that you act fast before things get out hand."

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