I have a very very very terrible
stammer. Some people don't know this, well that's because I don't stammer all
the time, and I manage to conceal it quite well actually, if I didn't it'll be
a very disturbing experience for those around me. Well, most people think of
stammering simply as repetition of words or parts of words, well that's one
part of it, the other part, the part that personally causes me the most
distress is 'blocks', these are involuntary silent pauses in which the
stutterer is unable to produce sounds.
Blocks are very very annoying, and
they happen at the weirdest times, I get blocks when I'm trying to produce the
hard G sound- like 'Good', so it's especially difficult to greet someone by
saying 'Good Morning, or Good Day' I have to circumvent this by just saying
'Morning' and smiling, little does the recipient know the trouble I had been
going through just to say that. However I can overcome a block if I want to (I
do this when I'm in familiar company) but overcoming a block would mean a
jerking of my head, leading people to think I'm choking or having some kind of
epilepsy fit- it's quite amusing sometimes actually.
But blocks also have their
advantages, especially in arguments, the old adage goes: "Think before you
talk"..well normally I don't usually think much before talking, but since
stammering prevents me from talking, I use that time in silence to think and
develop my argument. So while people are rambling on, I'm there...trying to
speak, but unable to do so, thus having to listen, smile, think and try again
this time with an easier consonant sound.
Another aspect of stammering that
is perhaps most annoying and most amusing is the prolongation of sounds,
especially when 'M' begins a word or a syllable. So I'm there trying to say
Good Morning to my Grandma (I call her mummy- grandma would be a hell of a job)
I see her for the first time in the morning, custom asks for me to greet her,
she sees me, expecting a greeting, I try to greet her, but the G is stuck
somewhere in my throat so I can't say 'Good Morning, Mummy', I then take the
other route 'saying the Mummy first'..prolongation now comes, causing me to say
Mmmmmmmmmmummy G,(still stuck) G (stuck) Goo(easing up a bit) Good mmmmmorning
(finally there) So while people greet people without even noticing it, I have
to make a concious pre-meditated effort to utter my words. Something that
should take a second to utter becomes a play recital for me.
Stammering is cool sometimes
though, well, it's cool when people feel embarrassed and have to apologize to
me after making fun of my stammering. It happens quite a lot- I stammer,
someone laughs and makes fun of it, I reply with a stern face- "What is
funny? I have a stammering problem" They notice their indiscretion and
begin apologizing- I laugh at them internally.
Thankfully I don't stammer with
every single word I say, but I notice I tend to stammer a lot when speaking on
the phone, leading to weird pauses in the conversation with the person on the other
end saying "Hello..Hello, Julian, you there" I reply like five
seconds later, out of breath because I've been struggling with myself trying to
simply say - 'still here'.
No cure for stammering exist, but
some myths on curing stammering include consistently drinking water from a
snail shell for the rest of one's life and "hitting a stutterer in the
face when the weather is cloudy" (please don't do this!)
I don't look at my stammering as an
ailment though, it's a part of me I've grown to consider unique and love.
I just dread the day I propose to
my wife, as I have trouble verbalising the 'W' sound, this would rule out me
saying "Will you marry me?" My already discussed problems with 'M'
would also rule out 'Marry me honey!"..I guess I may have to propose
through facebook or by post. C'est la Vie
|
# 
Your Comments
Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.