Henry Omoregie

A returnee Nigerian who has left these shores for over 20 years will notice changes in everything from the way people do things to what things do to people. Its funny but it is true that if you are landing at one of our airports, expect NEPA to strike even if it is for one second! Welcome back. 

Traveling around Nigeria by air, road, rail (still functioning?) or river is stressful even on normal days not to talk of the Yuletide season. Expect to meet a very busy airport if coming from outside Nigeria. Make sure your luggage is manageable and correctly tagged so it is not taken elsewhere. If arriving at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Ikeja Lagos, be sure to have made transit arrangements to your final destination before even landing if Lagos is not your last bus stop. Journeys by road must be made during the day especially when traversing the south of Nigeria from west to east. Expect to see police, customs, and Federal Road Safety checkpoints especially between Shagamu and Benin City at almost every quarter of a kilometer. If you bought or imported a vehicle and you need to drive it through these routes, make sure your vehicle's particulars are intact and devoid of any errors. The last time yours truly traveled on the Benin-Shagamu road, it was a nightmare as a journey of 3 hours became a tortuous trip of 7 hours from Lagos to Benin City! If you travel and day-dark sets in as it may happen occassionally, reduce your speed and lookout for gorges and portholes including sticks, pieces of wood, heavy concrete chippings, old drums and disused parts of machinery left over by uniformed men who used them to barricade roads to effect a slowing down of vehicles to be checked at makeshift checkpoints! They are death traps and sometimes have been the causes of accidents on our roads.

Journeys to the north from the south are more pleasant as regards these 'checkpoints' than in the west to east movement. Regular travelers will tell you this. The checkpoints downsouth are sometimes so close to each other that while being checked at one point, the next point is just one electric pole distance away and you will meet it still driving with the first gear! The intentions for setting up checkpoints are good but the execution leaves much to be desired as 'roger' is still being collected openly and shamelessly in full glare of others even with the laudable image laundering attempts being made by the top hierarchy of the Nigerian Police.

Be sure to get fuel and lubricants from regular filling stations like AP, Agip, Conoil, Mobil, Total or Texaco. This is to avoid putting condensates into your car's fuel tank, which will definitely affect your engine's performance. Laptops are searched by the police these days at checkpoints. I don't know how many of the men at the points are computer literates as many have been delayed on their journeys because of investigations to see if the owner does yahoo yahoo! I wish everyone a safe and pleasant end of year celebrations. 

Robot  # 1 | 08.12.2008 06:14

By this time every year, anywhere, the frenzy reaches acrescendo. All the year's struggles, hustles and bustles are about to be consummated by the strugglers, hustlers and bustlers. Christmas and New Year seasons all over Nigeria are noted for massive movement of human beings and materials both within and outside the country.Attendant with it are incidents of varying dimensions and severity. How do we cope?...Read the full article.

Dewdrops  # 2 | 08.12.2008 09:20

=Robot;297982>By this time every year, anywhere, the frenzy reaches acrescendo. All the year's struggles, hustles and bustles are about to be consummated by the strugglers, hustlers and bustlers. Christmas and New Year seasons all over Nigeria are noted for massive movement of human beings and materials both within and outside the country.Attendant with it are incidents of varying dimensions and severity. How do we cope?...Read the full article. Robot......where is the article?

ComradeX  # 3 | 09.12.2008 05:09

The last time yours truly traveled on the Benin-Shagamu road, it was a nightmare as a journey of 3 hours became a tortuous trip of 7 hours from Lagos to Benin City! From experience, I think anyone contemplating a journey of this magnitude would do well to check the planning schedule of our Holy Ghost ministries, as 7 hours may prove to be an underestimate. If you travel and day-dark sets in as it may happen occassionally, reduce your speed and lookout for gorges and portholes including sticks, pieces of wood, heavy concrete chippings, old drums and disused parts of machinery left over by uniformed men who used them to barricade roads to effect a slowing down of vehicles to be checked at makeshift checkpoints! They are death traps and sometimes have been the causes of accidents on our roads. You dey too economical here. We are talking about sizeable craters...fast approaching on-coming cars strapped with torchlights, in place of headlamps which lost their shine eons ago. To be forewarned is to be forearmed, so be prepared for an exhilarating ride if you do nothing else. The intentions for setting up checkpoints are good but the execution leaves much to be desired as 'roger' is still being collected openly and shamelessly in full glare of others even with the laudable image laundering attempts being made by the top hierarchy of the Nigerian Police. The intentions are good? You think those checkpoints are a deterrent to the criminal elements we all fear? Be sure to get fuel and lubricants from regular filling stations like AP, Agip, Conoil, Mobil, Total or Texaco. This is to avoid putting condensates into your car's fuel tank, which will definitely affect your engine's performance. Laptops are searched by the police these days at checkpoints. I don't know how many of the men at the points are computer literates as many have been delayed on their journeys because of investigations to see if the owner does yahoo yahoo! Once again you are being overly generous here, comrade. You know fully well computer literacy is not a key criterion for deployment to any of those roadside check points but choose not to call a spade a spade:confused: Wishing everyone travelling on our treacherous roads during this yuletide season a safe journey. It is high time we called our transport minister to order, however.:pray:

Dewdrops  # 4 | 09.12.2008 05:50

Oooooh there is the article. I could not retrieve it earlier hence I asked...not drunk at all. :wink: Any tips about entertainment opportunities? Because short of my I-pod and my laptop to terrorize NVS......not much to do around here. But a good rest is all there is....without being reminded of 'global economic crises'. A good getaway in the final analysis. Dewwy's Survival Tips LEAVE YOUR KIDS BEHIND---IF YOU THINK YOU ARE BORED....TRY THE KIDS.....THEY WILL DEFINITELY KILL YOU WITH THEIR COMPLAINTS OF "NOTHING TO DO AROUND HERE"!!!!! Limit your eating to once a day or you will come down with severe liver damage from eating rice everyday. Avoid any thing called fanta, coke or sprite. Five Alive/Chavita......at your own jedi jedi risk. Don't forget your dental floss.....you will be surprised how much you can accumulate between your teeth after just one meal......even breakfast. If you are like me and hate telephones...think again....keep them on at all times....area fathers and sons might be operating in the next room.......make sure your room has a window without bars or plan to eject yourself by parachute through the roof......happy landing. Get your own toothpicks or you will definitely come down with some kind of gum disease from the firewood made toothpicks ----they are more like clubsandwich holders. Very potent deodorant, a must. I never used to be able to smell myself....strange things do happen over here. Handy supplies of pain killers, anti-diarrheals/constipation mosquito repellants, sunscreen, calamine lotion and hydrocortisone creams if you have sensitive skin like I do.....by God avoid jewelry around your neck. For ladies...stock a whole suitcase of "feminine supplies" especially panty liners.....even if it means paying for an excess luggage.(pantyliners are virtually unheard of.):confused1...Will not elaborate. Always have at least 2 maximum strength monistat bullets. Make sure you have your vitamin supplements for the duration of stay. Plan on leaving everything you packed in your suitcase behind......they will be barely recognizable when you plan to return. The will be of no use to you....guaranteed. Drink a lot of water....dehydration from insensitive water loss can do you in. Watch what you eat......screen kitchen staff for nail fungus and other things....fresh fruits in season like paw-paw, pine-apples and bananas very necessary. If you must fool around......don't leave home without your AMERICAN EXPRESS and avoid going downtown as a passenger or the driver. If you must do the "frenchy".....please screen for cavities. When you return....head to the nearest Emergency facility for a thorough bio-physical exam. Finally....if you feel the slightest funny feeling of just a headache......those "beecham" things will kill you faster.....just cut your trip short and get the hell ourrrrrra town. Thank you!