08 Jul 2008 |
|
|
It was now mid-morning. We had now strolled from the dining station to the living room. Flinging herself down into the sofa and with almost not a spoken word, but with a politely gesturing eye, she nodded me to a chair. As we watched the sun melt the overnight frost off her car’s windshield, I glanced at my watch, indirectly signalling my intention to take my leave anytime soon. Pushing herself back into the sofa from which she had half risen, she broke the silence and said, “could your patients spare you for a few more minutes?” “Sure.” I responded. “...Okay then; Out of curiosity, what were the highlights of the report of African Peer Review Mechanism (APRM)?” She asked. “Well, since you ask I will tell you.” I began to speak. The Punch Newspaper recently published the APRM report on corruption in Nigeria. Representing an unbiased external evaluation of governance in the country, the APRM report blamed Nigeria’s failure to develop on political and economic corruption. “According to the Punch Newspaper,” I continued, “other highlights from the report were: The former World Bank President, Paul Wolfowitz, revealed that Nigeria has lost $300bn to corruption in the last four decades. He claimed that if such huge sum had been used for public good, the country would have been an exemplary nation in Africa.” She exclaimed … “$300 what?”, “that is a lot of money.” “According to the report,” I continued, “it was disheartening that a country that is the sixth largest oil producer in the world had the third largest concentration of poor people. Without the eradication of corruption, Nigeria would not be able to meet its target of being one of the 20 top global economies by 2020. Apart from corruption, the report also said that the greatest challenge facing the country was how to channel “her wealth from the oil and gas industry so as to achieve socio-economic development.” It said Nigeria “scores below the sub-Saharan average on several socio-economic indicators, including Gross National Index per capita ($620 in 2006), infant mortality, access to potable water and life expectancy.” The APRM experts, who tagged part of the report “the paradox of poverty in the midst of plenty,” also warned that Nigeria was unlikely to meet the Millennium Development Goals. The report added that ineffective implementation of policies and policy reversals posed serious challenges to governance. The report also quoted a conference by bishops in Nigeria which noted that “corruption is a way of life, especially in government and business and responsible in large measure for broken promises, dashed hopes and shallow dreams that have characterized the lives of most Nigerians.” As we sat over a glass of orange juice on 8th Street that morning, we analysed the APRM report a little further. “You see; those were the reasons why we have not been able to keep our heads above water in our country.” She had jumped to conclusion. “That is exactly what we are talking about. “ I said “Wait a minute, let me dissect this report a bit further!” she continued, “There is a story being told here and so clear that one would not have to try hard to get the message. Here the former World Bank chief was indirectly telling us that the aid being given to developing countries by the Apex Bank and the IMF passes from the poor people of the developed countries to the rich people of the underdeveloped countries, who in turn squandered everything. Here Paul Wolfowitz was indirectly saying that these black skinned people have not only been entangled in corruption but they also see the aid being given to them as their right. Here Paul Wolfowitz was telling us the truth that we don’t want to hear. Here he was telling us that we cannot even manage well our own resources. Here he was telling us to learn how to fish by ourselves rather than looking for someone who will fish for us. Is this not the honest truth?” “My sister, yes it is! It is as true as the gospel. Nigerians have been taken for granted the developed nations generosity for so long. I have echoed this before; they must be very generous to a fault!” “Don’t you see that Nigerians nowadays have added yet another dimension to their corruption saga; looters are now being looted.” “Just be looking, corruption seems to have reached the point of no return in our country.” “Anything is possible in Nigeria, today. You would think we are that serious. By way of balancing the political equation with good quotient, they say we are targeting 2020. It used to be 2010.” “Do you believe that yeye talk? 2020 is just a number that slip of our tongues easily. We will do these by 2020; we will do that by 2020. Yet no meaningful planning! The way my people say it, I sometimes think that this 2020 is not a year but certain sum of money. My people make me think of it as if all we want to do is to save up a wad of 2,020 naira notes within the next 12 years. If it is that easy, then only God knows how many people will build empires by year 2020. It used to be 2010 Naira but now that they factored in inflation, it is 2020 Naira.” “2020 naira! You mean an equivalent of N20.20 Soludo’s money.” “Ha! I beg, leave Oga Soludo out of this.” “When she was being put through the mill, I heard Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, our former Finance Minister said on ‘HardTalk’ that we had indeed turned the corner on some of these issues still being raised in APRM report.” “Which of the Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala? Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, the politician or the Word Bank guru?” “Be serious, is she not the same person?” “Na you dey talk like this? You are talking as if you don’t know our politicians. I don’t believe everything they say. Although she tried her best, but to me there is no any corner to be turned; the road is ever as straight like a perpendicular line leading to the Northern pole. The only change now is that the road is wider. It seems to me now that some of the gains she talked about are back-orders.” “I dey somehow disturb because of that APRM report, abi wetin you call am? But don’t you sometimes question why all of our country men are so keen to be law makers or ministers these days? My brother, it beats winning a lottery and it is tax-free. They run for offices because they know that a jar of gold is waiting at the end of the rainbow. And after they are elected, they always run away with the ball.” “Na me you dey tell? I know now! Some of them who cannot even spell ‘democracy’ correctly have found themselves in the positions of power. Our leaders seem to have a charitable status now and Nigerians seem to be using all their resources as charitable donations. Have you forgotten the issue behind the Library in Abeokuta?” “How can I forget? Even though the issue of corruption is throwing a curve ball to us, Nigerian government and Nigerians are not even taking the problems of corruption too serious. Relax, they will say: This corruption pill may be toxic, but it is not all that toxic.” “It is no surprise to me. We set the trap out but it is not catching anything. We have not seen any real casualty” “Wetin you wan see? It is all gesture politics! Do you set a trap for an animal and go show the animal where the trap is? Even when they say they caught them, eventually they are let off scot-free. It is a little like catching a small fish in the lake and throwing it back to the same lake. Although that fish is small but our looters are hyper-greedy!” “It is the usual atmosphere. As if they have something in their back pockets like a referee, the Senators are probing the past administration. I will be surprised if they don’t already have their own skeletons festering in the cupboard.” We seem to have found ourselves in a vicious circle of back-to-back probing! But for how long are we going to be probing people recurrently?” “You would think they are that serious; Even with their seemingly honest faces you would think that they themselves are very allergic to corruption, but don’t mind them. No red card has ever been issued. They will chicken out as usual.” “Na me you dey tell that one? Nothing meaningful has been done about those cases of looting involving Kalu, Ibori, Dariye, Nnamani, Fayose, Lucky Igbinedon to mention but a few. Like a fallow soil intentionally being abandoned, their cases are waiting in the court while the Ex. Governors are enjoying themselves.” “These are all delaying tactics, so it seems! Given what is happening now, how can you now preach to the current crops of Governors not to loot? People escape the long arm of the law just like that. To the patriotic Nigerians, all of these may call for lots of growing pains. It may even cause one to run a temperature.” “The basic truth is: the power to change the status quo, to reform, and succeed lies only in the hands of the people.” “Hmn! You just hit the nail on the head! But where are the people?” “Sometimes ago, I watched one Yoruba home-video movie titled “Koseegbe”. In the movie, they said, a reformer must first reform himself. This message got me thinking; are our leaders very prepared to reform themselves first?” “To stir the moral conscience of my fellow Nigerians, but even, how prepared are common people for that reform?” “If there is an outbreak of malaria fever in a community and Health practitioners are ready to work 24-7 to bring the outbreak under control, what can the Health practitioners do if the people being plagued with malaria are not ready to be treated or if they do not show up in the hospital? Do you get my point?” “I am following! You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Corruption cuts across the public and private sectors; you know we all speak the same language.” “Are you saying that corruption is our official language in Nigeria?” “Is that not obvious?” “Well! It seems hard to find someone honest in Nigeria today. Our President hid the nature of his sickness from us ever since until he recently opened up after Gani Fawehinmi (SAN) challenged him to disclose his kind of sickness.” “Are you saying that is the way politicians always hide their loot as well.” “You self; don’t put words in my mouth o.” “But OBJ talk say hin son, UMARU dey kanpe before!” “Me, I no know that one o!” “They now say some of our ministers who are not performing to our expectations are lobbying the President in order to retain their jobs.” “Na so I hear! It is only in Nigeria that things like that happen. How many times have you seen the best student in a class ‘gumming’ around his teachers for a favour to be awarded some marks he does not deserve? How many times have you seen such a student begging his principal for a chance to represent his school in a debate or quiz competition? The best student is always well sought after by his colleagues and teachers. His teachers will be asking, who is this intelligent boy? Everybody wants to be his friend. Now, if our Ministers are looking for favours from the President, does that not raise a red-flag on its own that something is wrong somewhere?” “Nigeria we hail thee! Maybe they have unfinished projects – looting! Maybe they are lobbying because they know Mr. President can bend the rule anytime by dispensing favours to them. Have you not noticed as well that Mr. President himself is not doing anything again about dropping some of these weaker Ministers? They say if a man takes forty years to plan for vengeance how long will it take him to exhibit his madness.” “Oh! Are these the reasons why many Nigerians in the Diaspora have vowed not to have anything to do with Nigeria again? They have now been ‘white-washed’ if there is anything like that. They don’t even want to hear anything, Nigeria.” “But that is another dimension to not being patriotic.” “Exactly my point, either good or bad I cannot disown my country o. The ugly monkey is still ours” “That na you. I have a word for them though!” “Wetin again? My hand no dey o!” ‘They talk about “Jeopardy quiz guru”, you raise up your hand! They say “Nigeria”, you have said “your country.” They say “Amalgamation”, you say “Lord Lugard.” They say “capital of Nigeria”, you say “Lagos.” They say “your home State in Nigeria”, you say “middle-belt.” They say “Nigerian constitution”, you say “Clifford constitution.” They say “current best Nigerian newspaper”, you say “West African Pilot.” They say “current Nigerian political party in power”, you say “Action Group.” They say “current best Nigerian football club”, you say “Leventis United or Abiola Babes.” They say “your favourite beer”, you say “B-B Lager.” Hey! Hey!! Here they come, Baba and Mama Diaspora. With these your answers, it seems you are lost abroad. Rumor has it abroad that you have stayed too long and that you never looked back.’ “You and this your mouth! West African Pilot lowun lowun” “An American Philosopher, Henry D. Thoreau (1817-1862) once said and I quote: ‘There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.’” “That reminds me of something. There are three categories of Nigerians these days. One group are the fixers, another group are the destroyers and the last but not the least are the ‘fence sitters’ who change occasionally with political wind.” “You get it! Me, I see three groups of people too. Our situation is a little like the double staircases scenario. With a double stream of people upon the two-way staircase, and with a loud clack, few are running upstairs in hope, and many are descending downstairs dejected (ddd). Of course, in a different league are the corrupt! Their attitudes and manner told their own story. Sadly enough, the two larger groups which comprise of the corrupt, the unmotivated and dejected Nigerians are seemingly waning down the enthusiasm of the few spirited ones. So sad” “Make I make you laugh! You don hear the new story? With those facts from European banks and government, yet some of our past leaders gathered themselves somewhere and made a public declaration that Abacha did not steal our money. Haba, despite all the proofs and facts!” {mospagebreak} “Se that one? Abacha himself knew he was very corrupt. A man is what his mouth speaks. A man is what he believes. The trio of our past leaders, IBB, Abdusalam Abubakar and Buhari had slapped us with their careless talk again. Was that not pure lie pushed to its extreme limit? Sometimes some things come out of our mouths that are not really connected to our brains. How else could one explain that? They say the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, late Abacha had suddenly become the little beautiful bride adored by the trio. Very annoying, IBB has ever been known to find a synonym for word, (Annulment vs. Cancellation). We are waiting for his new words for corruption and stealing. We all knew IBB, and Alhaji Abdusalam did not surprise me either. But what was not so sharp from my pin-hole camera before was the position of the ‘war against indiscipline’ proponent, Alhaji Buhari, our Presidential aspirant who has been sitting on the fence for so long deceiving us as if he is the messiah who is going to rid Nigeria of corruption. But here he came to resolve our doubt! His recent pronouncement told its own story. Character is like smoke, it cannot be hidden. We now know who Alhaji Buhari is and where he stands. He has now added his voice to the pro-corruption chorus. Nigerians are no fools!” “Na so we see am o! Even if a teenager made such a careless statement, the elders ought to lay a whip across his shoulder.” “In scandal in Bohemia, Arthur Conan Doyle wrote and I quote: ‘If a gentleman walks into my rooms smelling of Iodoform, with a black mark of nitrate of silver upon his right forefinger, and a bulge on the right side of his top-hat to show where he has secreted his stethoscope, I must be dull, indeed, if I do not pronounce him to be an active member of the medical profession.’ Nigerians are not dull people and we do get all the hints the trio were throwing on our path. A man is what he says. Suggestive of declaration pushed to the length of unreasonableness, whatever might be their reasons for such a careless remark, nevertheless, we must make them to agree with our view on Abacha, or else we shall keep on loading fact upon fact on them until their reasons fracture under them. May God keep Nigerians out from the clutches of such men who are driving us crazy and who continuously vex us with their puzzling statements!” “My brother, it’s very annoying. Undeniably, as far as we are concerned, as a tribal mark, Abacha had his face covered in graffiti of corruption.” “Let us leave them; God dey!” “Na so o! Let us talk about more important things.” “Someone once said: ‘Without ambition one starts nothing; without work one finishes nothing.’ I think we have to start the building process now so that in years to come we will have something on the table to talk about. If we don’t start now, we are going to remain on the same spot.” “How I wish we would see the smartest solution around.” “…You mean how to flush out corrupt people from Nigeria?” “No, you are funny! ‘Nothing’ will remain! I know if we do that Nigeria will now be the new African most sparsely populated nation.” “But come to think of it, it seems there is something we are doing wrong. We are so insensitive to a lot of things.” “My sister, that is how we see it nowadays. I was talking to a little boy the other day. This little boy curiously asked me that, why is it that a flask keeps hot liquids hot and cold liquids cold? ‘Thanks for your observation, this little boy,’ I replied. I smiled and whispered to his ear that that is the power of a Thermostat. I then quickly thought about some of our Politicians who don’t even ask intelligent questions more so that things are not working properly in our country. They only think about how to loot.” “Na so o, to people who do not pay too much attention to details, to them, what distinguishes a lion from a lioness is only the mane. Although it sounds like asking what is the difference between a man and a woman, but there are more to it than the mane. It is when one is looking for something that one will find something. As a leader, if you occupy your mind everyday with how to better the lives of the people you serve, you are likely to make headway one day no matter how little. But in a case where all you do is to look for what to loot, then you will get more than enough food to eat. Greed, it is called!” “Bacon once said and I quote, ‘Imagination is of three kinds: joined with belief of that which is to come; joined with memory of that which is past; and of things present, or as if they were present.’ When he was endorsing American Presidential candidate, Barack Obama, recently, Al-Gore also said and I quote: ‘the future is for us to create but not to predict’.” “I love those! Then maybe we should try to create a new future in Nigeria. What can we do to start with a clean slate?” “You too dey make me laugh! You sounded like a teacher telling her student that: ‘you were very lazy last term and you performed woefully, but we'll start again with a clean slate this term.’ My sister, it’s not as easy as one thinks unless we do a lot of work.” “What do you think we can do in Nigeria now to rescue us from the mess?” “You tanda there! We have started doing something already.” “What?” “Abi you don’t know? Of course, I am talking about ‘do nothing’ approach! That is, we are letting the nature to take its course.” “That is as good as not doing anything.” “Well, overwhelming circumstances in which we find ourselves sometimes may call for .adopting the tempting stance of ‘do nothing.’ While ‘do nothing’ as an approach might be a good solution to certain human problems but this strategy could cause more problems than it solves in some. While ‘do nothing’ could mean ignore the situation and continue or stop what you are doing, it could also mean to cover up the negative aspects of the situation and continue. Alas, as for us in Nigeria, folding our hands and “do nothing” cannot be the only arrow in the solution quiver. Should we do nothing or fix the bugs?” “Hmn! ‘Only arrow in the solution quiver!’ You stole that expression from me.” “Na you sabi o! Good practices they say come from experience. Experience, they say generally comes from unsuccessful practices and mistakes. Have you not heard the story of little children and hot water? Children learned not to touch hot objects by first touching them and seeing the effects.” “You dey talk again as if you no sabi our people. Unlike children, my people will not adjust even if the fire is burning them to death. Have you not noticed how many ‘poor’ people have died as a result of scooping some petrol from busted or vandalized petrol pipe? Yet, the problem is far from being over.” “Anyway, in a normal setting, people naturally learn what not to do, all too often, by doing it and then suffering the consequences”. But it provides a starting point for corrective action. Have we not suffered enough? Have we not learned anything? Should we therefore do nothing or fix the bugs?” “That is exactly the problem. This ‘starting point’ sometimes can be a big challenge because we can only strive for the best if we only believe a feat is achievable. We all have limitations of what we believe is attainable and what is not.” “President Kennedy’s vision of having a man landed on the moon and returned safely is a great example of expanding the boundaries of belief. As at the time this well respectable President of United States uttered those words, the feat was not only impossible but also the technology was not there for such a remarkable feat to be achieved. Nevertheless, as real as death, the vision was so compelling that it became real in the minds of those involved until it later materialised into a reality.” “So you think we can fix the corruption problems in Nigeria! We can or we cannot? But how are other nations dealing with their corruption problems?” “Wo, Leave me alone jare. Recently, the Russian President Dmitry Medvedev joined this famous parade against corruption, saying that corruption has become a systemic problem and a systemic response is needed to deal with it. The Russian President laid out his three broad components of national plan for fighting corruption. It included: (1) intensive modernization of their laws; (2) Making state contracts and tenders ‘transparent’ while improving the business climate generally, and lastly (3) Introducing an anticorruption code of behavior that will improve the atmosphere in the society in general.” “E be like say dem dey copy us! “You no serious o!” “Na true now! They are Copy-cat! But some of these ideas are also what we are implementing in Nigeria but rather in most unserious ways and no meaningful results are being achieved." “Unserious way! But you too don say am finish! “Continue my brother, I just dey pull your leg!” “Measures like recruiting and grooming new leaders have also been used by some country like France in the past. Measures like allowing free trades and softer immigration law have also been proposed. Measure that cut red tape or bureaucracy, which has been known to favour bribery and corruption have also been put into practice by some countries. Measure like changing the rules of the game is not a bad idea as well. Are you with me?” “My brother, I am listening to you.” “Corruption is everywhere - India, Philippine, China just name the country but our own specie of corruption in Nigeria is more worrisome. We have now made a name for ourselves in the corruption industry. Our corrupt people in Nigeria are as brave as a bulldog and as tenacious as a lobster if they get their claws upon any of our resources. Therefore, to chop off a malignant corruption cancer that has multiplied across our nation, a simple scratch will not be enough. Therefore, a tougher measure is necessary.” “O ga o! To whom much is given much is expected. Nevertheless, some of our leaders are now shining examples of dishonesty dovetailed with greed! “So, what do you prescribe for our own peculiar case in Nigeria?” “A bi iwo o rin nkan? Still to come is the father of all measures recently being used by the Chinese. To me for our own specie of corruption in Nigeria the Chinese method will be the most efficient and effective measure.” “What is the method they are using?” “You don’t get to decide when you are going to die or what kind of death, but you can decide what you want to do with your life. If there is one thing that our rich leaders fear, it is death.” “Wait o. Don’t give me that insinuating smile.” “The Chinese went to the extreme by executing one of their officials, Zheng Xiaoyu for collecting a $650,000 in bribes. That is a small chicken change when compared with how much our leaders are stealing from our coffers.” “So what are you insinuating?” “You too dey ask many questions!” “O ya tell me.” “These shock tactics are needed in Nigeria if we are going to cure the multi-headed corruption addiction that has remained the prologue to our full-scale under-development. So it seems, otherwise, we may be chasing shadow!” “What tactics?” “See me see trouble o! Hey, my sister, you never get the gist? Anyway, there is no point being economical with the truth. They say the changing colour of the leaves on the trees is a signal that it will soon be autumn. All I am saying here is if the legal punishment for corruption crime is death penalty in Nigeria, a lot of things will change. Imagine a Governor or Minister being killed in Nigeria for looting. This will be a clearer signal to all that we now have a zero tolerance for corruption. I trust my people, other to be offenders, will run for cover. Capital punishment is necessary!” “That is exactly what I think is the only solution. I just don’t know how to say it out. Now that you mentioned it, in a land filled with citizens who have their heads filled up with bribery and corruption mentality, a simple spot treatment of the ailment will not produce the desired result. I concur; the only corruption antidote that I think has a chance of working properly in Nigeria is death penalty. Shocking! Shocking!! Harsh!!! I heard you say!” “You! You know how to tease information out of someone! Anyway, my sister, make I waka, time don go finish! I don already use all the food wey I wak here talk finish here.”
Epilogue: Having used satire in this article to raise some important points on certain salient issues affecting our country, but in our own quite time, let us ponder over some of these things. Let us change our individual ways of doing things especially the bad ones. After much cogitation, like two sides to a coin, what I can only make of our corruption situation in Nigeria is a little like the old philosophical question: Is the glass half empty or half full? Whichever side we belong to, either we like it or not, corruption has continued to apply a downward pressure on our national development. Shouldn’t we then erase corruption in our midst? ‘In a book titled ‘A better World, A Better You’, from which the title of this article is coined, the author, Lou Tice made a persuasive case that by making a goal true in our mind, as if it had already occurred, mobilizes resources to bring it into existence in external reality.’ After all said, I hope a wild goose will not prove to be the end of our chase. Long live Nigeria!
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
# 
Your Comments
Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.