I was just listening to a programme on Pension Matters on NTA where three 'leaders of the industry’ were interviewed. One Brigadier General Kwaji, the man responsible for Military Pensions stated with pomp and confidence that Military Pensions have been able to ensure smooth payment operations because the military is disciplined and therefore officials do their work. This very illuminating answer came after he explained that at one point his office discovered that pension payment had not been effectively batched only after pensioners had been invited to Abuja to be paid. These poor old and mostly debilitated people were then asked to return to their bases without having received a kobo or any form of support for transportation and board, although many would have journeyed great distances over often difficult terrain. Thankfully Brigadier General Kwaji was able to tell us that at more than a hundred thousand he had more pensioners on his books than any other pension body in Nigeria . One hundred thousand! The bulk of the people probably expired waiting to be paid, is why his figures can be that low.

The Accountant General and the Director General of PenCom who were also featured on the programme did not fare much better. Between them, they were unable to provide any insight into why pension payment for retired government officials in Nigeria is in the mess that it is or what concrete plans have been put in place to address what has become a chronic situation. It would of course be too much to expect definite dates for bringing it to an end. The Accountant General merely said as soon as they put together a reliable database. You could tell he liked the sound of the seeming technical term database because he kept saying it over and over.

Politicians and senior public officials being unable to hold meaningful discussions or participate effectively in pubic debates is not strange to us. We still make fun of the second republic politician whose answer to questions about student unrest was that students cannot rest because they have to study and of course the abundance of coke fanta and such like as examples of minerals in Nigeria . However it becomes damning when a trend is established and beamed for all the world to see via DSTV. I am not for a moment suggesting that feeding national populations complete hogwash is acceptable. Getting our rulers and senior public officials to answer questions in a way that it will educate the listener is like pulling teeth. I actually started to think that it was an unwritten policy and that after a certain level they get sent to Kuru to learn the art of dissembling. That was until I observed the same trait in other Nigerian professionals.

Take Professor Abdu Ibrahim, Chief Psychiatrist at one of the colleges of medicine in the North. When he was asked to comment on laughter, he started by saying that research showed that Nigerians are the happiest people in the world in terms of laughter, that there are two main types of laughter - appropriate and incongruous laughter. He explained that those of us that laugh inappropriately are pathological and that we have an affective disorder that leads us to laughing inappropriately. Professor Ibrahim then observed that a third type of laughter has recently been added to the Nigerian portfolio of laughter. This is the fatuous laughter, which is a result of euphoria and peculiar to teenage girls and young women who laugh hysterically in response to most things. I gave quiet thanks that none of my children had chosen to study medicine or even psychiatry and were therefore not likely to be tutored at any point by this fellow.

If it was not such a travesty, I would probably be rolling around on the floor laughing. One listens to impromptu speeches by leaders and  professionals from other countries, you watch young people barely out of the cradle get invited to give an analyses of world events and then you get Nigerians, masquerading as specialists in their subject areas and I cannot help but compare.

The Head of the Nigerian Medical Corps was on the Channels health show the other day and all the information he was able to give about the health status of the Nigerian army was that they are healthier than the rest of the population because they are more active and they go fighting in other countries.  When asked about prevalence of HIV in the army, he talked about how they submit the men to tests before and after they leave for assignments and how that has served as a deterrent. Deterrent to what I wonder, would that be to having sex or to becoming infected with the disease. This type of approach to problem solving is much too common in Nigeria . We seldom seek to understand and therefore very often fail to address all factors that might be leading to unwanted situations. Our general reaction to issues is knee jerk when it is not outright avoidance.

Take the civil service Director, soon to be Permanent Secretary, who was appointed to lead a new programme of change in a state. When asked about his strategy for making sure the programme takes hold, he explained that he was waiting for the governor who had indicated that he would soon come up with what should be done about programme implementation. His favourite line in discussion is ‘government in its infinite wisdom …..’  Leading me to ask why  “government” would spend so much money on salaries and perquisites, buying skills and experience at such senior levels, if it still has to come up with its own wisdom.

The capacity of our public institutions to deliver on the functions for which they were established have been whittled down to the extent that the individuals hired to do the work will do only the barest minimum to achieve set objectives, often deliberately misinterpreting provisions for carrying out assignments in its most simplistic terms. This has in fact become our way of life and it will appear that we have lost our ability for incisive thought and analysis.

Perhaps it is the reason we mostly adopt this excruciatingly slow mode of speech, dragging our sentences out for as long as possible so that we can fill out the time with what little we have to say. Would it not make sense for an official of any establishment who has been chosen to speak on behalf of that establishment to prepare so that they are that much more versed on the topic? Is it not a legitimate expectation that a professional should be able to speak knowledgeably and with authority about his area of specialty and even put forward hypotheses?

In corporate speak, ability for analytical thought coupled with the capacity to think on one's feet are key requirements for those that would be trusted with the management of vibrant forward looking organisations. If politicians and senior public officials are so obviously lacking in these competencies, can it be assumed therefore that the Organisation called Nigeria programmed to fail?

Robot  Villager

# 1 Politicians and senior public officials being unable to hold meaningful discussions or participate e...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 10.02.2008 13:19

Palamedes  Villager

# 2 Politicians and senior public officials being unable to hold meaningful discussions or participate effectively in pubic debates is not strange to us. One good thing about reading articles like this one is that you get the opportunity to say what you have been longing to say. The other way would be to write an article about it--assuming you have the time. Anyway, there is always more than one side to any story: I have seen a few “Nigerian style” interviews and I blame the interviewers: It is for the interviewer to take control of the interview; ask short questions; time the answers; and ensure that the interviewee answers the question rightly and within the time allocated. Nigerian politicians and senior public officials have a tendency to talk for long period of time even when they don't have anything useful to say. These people don't seem to understand or take note of the question being asked and just talk forever. If an interviewee is not answering the question, it is for the interviewer to remind him or her of what the question is. The interviewer should interject and not give the interviewee the floor to talk rubbish for 10 minute or more per question. Nigerian interviewers also have a tendency to make long speech before asking a question—some times you wonder who is the interviewer or interviewee. AIT “Kakaki” interviewers are typical example. Sometimes an interview say, “we only have one minute left” before the end of the programme or break but then talks for up to 5 minutes before finally asking a question. I also blame the studio audience who applaud the politicians or senior public officials even when they are not answering the question and talking rubbish. Clearly, one can see the confusion, disappoint and disgust on the faces of the studio audience, and instead of booing, they applaud the interviewee's answer. I would imagine that many of these interviewers got their job due to nepotism. But one would expect their employers to train them to be good interviewers. Politicians and senior public officials are often in dread of good interviewers. If a politician or senior public official knows that an interviewer doesn't take prisoners, he or she would make an effort to be well-briefed before the interview. Posted by Palamedes| 11.02.2008 08:03

toksyleigh  Villager

# 3 Hello Mutti, Your article was refreshing and I really envy you. Personally, I believe that I my chances of survival (and not many have survived) is way better if I attempt to climb Mount Everest compared to trying to analyze or understand the Nigerian psyche. But like most people of African ancestry are thought, conditioned and duped to think, God will physically come down someday and help us all or will he? God help us all. Goriola Abamieda Jnr. Posted by toksyleigh| 11.02.2008 12:54

Mutti  Villager

# 4 @ palamedes I see you are trying very hard not to ignore this poster from Nigeria (just kidding). Thanks fr your comments. I had wanted to include all the points you raised but ran the risk of the article becoming a treatise and then becoming disjointed. Also it was impromptu, fI had decided to do penance by forcing myself to watch Nigerian TV. I am usually not even a TV person and seldom watch foreign TV either. Luckily someone wrote about the inefficacy of the press immediately after and mentioned just the same issues. Apart from that Shoko's article was also celebrating our superficiality as a nation so taken in combination, nothing spoil, the message was passed. We need delivernce from ourselves My one comment - Nigerian programme anchors should pay less attention to diction and fake accents and trying to demonstrate non existent intelligence by rambling on to long. I wonder if they are ever made to listen to themselves. they sound so stilted and unnatural barely legible (i've forgotten the one that applies to speech but I am sure you catch the drift) @Toksyleigh thanks for reading the article. i wonder why you envy me? Is it cos I am in good old Nig basking in the warmth while you're no doubt freezing your butt out in Canada. Chin up. Not all is lost for Nigeria. We have NVS Posted by Mutti| 11.02.2008 16:23

smartomoge  Villager

# 5 Take Professor Abdu Ibrahim, Chief Psychiatrist at one of the colleges of medicine in the North. When he was asked to comment on laughter, he started by saying that research showed that Nigerians are the happiest people in the world in terms of laughter, that there are two main types of laughter - appropriate and incongruous laughter. He explained that those of us that laugh inappropriately are pathological and that we have an affective disorder that leads us to laughing inappropriately. Professor Ibrahim then observed that a third type of laughter has recently been added to the Nigerian portfolio of laughter. This is the fatuous laughter, which is a result of euphoria and peculiar to teenage girls and young women who laugh hysterically in response to most things. I gave quiet thanks that none of my children had chosen to study medicine or even psychiatry and were therefore not likely to be tutored at any point by this fellow :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Inappropriate and incongruous laughter!!!! Ori mi o!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Posted by smartomoge| 11.02.2008 17:16

Palamedes  Villager

# 6 Madam Mutti, We are having a ball, based on your article, somewhere on NVS. Exactly where? I am not saying; it is for you to find out and join in. Is it cos I am in good old Nig basking in the warmth while you're no doubt freezing your butt out in Canada. I know this is not addressed to me but I too can feel it below the belt (ouch!). We might be freezing, with running noses; wrapped up in blankets; constantly rubbing ourselves to keep warm; hands hidden away in pockets; darkness by 4pm, but never mind because in a few months, the hot weather will be here. Posted by Palamedes| 11.02.2008 19:18

Bode_Boluz  Villager

# 7 Put the right people in the right place and things will improve. Make the many professions on offer in the Media industry homogeneous instead of hierarchical in nature and the best people will gravitate to them. Hell!! This goes for all industries. Technical staff are treaded woefully under the existing set up. It is why they get mediocre results from those that do take up the jobs. The idea would be for those that know better to make the first step. One would have thought that AIT and other private stations would look at the international arena they share with say those other stations on SkyBSB. It needs someone to set the standards and others will follow. Following the flawed and outdated NTA model is not an option. How much do they pay their technical staffers?? Especially those in these key jobs. Programme, or output editors Story producers Package producers Director Vision mixers (VM) Sound mixer (SM) Prompt operator Production assistant (PA) Video tape operators, VT operators, server operators Floor manager (FM) Camera operators Presenters and reporters Do they work with visual Effects teams or businesses? have they got their own What facilities do they have for say childcare. Some of the best TV Staffers world wide are women. What about folks that work in say set design and electronics? What do the pay or who do they patronise on a regular basis? What level of PRACTICAL training do they offer these hard working folks? And I am not talking the photo opportunity seminar crap we usually see. So many questions. But if answered correctly can be solved easily. Posted by Bode_Boluz| 19.02.2008 12:52

MUSA  JJC

# 8 I BELIEVE ''SMART OMOGE'' IS NOT SUCH A SMART ONE AFTER ALL! DO U EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF INCONGRUOUS AT ALL? IT MEANS SOME THING OUT OF THE ORDINARY,NOT IN ACCORDANCE, IN CASE YOU STILL DONT UNDERSTAND, IT MEANS IN-APPROPRIATE! WHICH IS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF APPROPRIATE. THE ARTICLE YOU REPLIED TO WAS WRITTEN BY A PERSON WHO IS OBLIVIOUS OF THE FACT THAT, THE PERSON HE REFERED TO WAS STRICTLY WORKING BASED ON RESEARCH FACTS AND FINDINGS{ IF IT IS THE RESEARCH HE FINDS HARD TO BELIEVE} OR IF ITS THE ''INCONGRUOUS'', THEN AM SORRY FOR BOTH OF YOU! I WONDER WHY HE HAD TO GO THE LENGTH OF SAYING HE`S HAPPY NONE OF HIS KIDS STUDIED MEDICINE. ALL I KNOW IS ONE HAS TO BE ABOVE AVERAGE TO BE ABLE TO STUDY MEDICINE AND TO BE SO GOOD AT IT TO ADVANCE INTO BECOMING A PROFESSOR. WHICH AM SURE HIS KIDS WOULD FIND OVERWHELMING, AND DECIDE NOT TO EVEN GO FOR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. PLEASE NEXT TIME, IT IS UN-ETHICAL TO MENTION NAMES,{THIS GOES TO YOU MR MUTTI YOVBI} FOR YOU ARE DEFORMING A CHARACTER.{ WHO COULD BE SOMEBODY`S HUSBAND, FATHER, BROTHER e.t.c.} I HAD TO WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS SO THAT YOU CLEARLY UNDERSTAND ME AND NOT MIS-QUOTE ME, AS YOUR ''HERO'' MUTI YOVBI HAD DONE! Posted by MUSA| 03.11.2008 19:17

Auspicious  Villager

# 9 I wonder why Musa singled SmartOmoge out for the lecture. I wonder why he thinks she can't differentiate between those two words. I wonder why Musa assumed that SmartOmoge is Regarry Brind, hence the UPPER CASE retters. I wonder...Heck, I wonder, wonder Ooooo! I wonder for Aafrikaaaaa..! Oya, komole! Second-base with Femi Kuti o'jere..:p:source L.H. Auspy. Posted by Auspicious| 03.11.2008 20:07

ozoodoo  Villager

# 10 mmmmmm....and the MUSA is based in Surrey!!!!!!! Remove a dog from Nigeria to Surrey, UK, and it remains a dog Posted by ozoodoo| 07.11.2008 20:19