| Gimme that Old Time Religion |
|
 |
| Tuesday, 25 July 2006 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
I may have just clued into what has or is fast becoming a trend in You may have noticed that women once they feel comfortable with each other tend to trade stories about the challenges of living life in general but mostly about hardships faced in marriage. Never mind that they may not have seen or heard of each other before that day. This habit probably helps them to confirm that they are not peculiar and to maintain a hold on sanity by unburdening to an empathetic ear. What was striking about the women’s conversations on this particular day was that the grouse was all the same and you would never guess…? It was about how the husbands had religion. Yes, husbands are getting religion! You would have thought that was a good thing right? At least that would keep the bugger from indulging in the more common pastimes of chasing skirts and rowdy evenings with the boys in beer parlours and pepper soup joints. What could be more interesting than sharing an evening of bible study with the husband even though you are desperate to crawl under the sheets for some much desired sleep after a hard day’s work or if you are lucky, to activate those circuitries that should help you both get to sleep that much more quicker and a lot deeper? Lighting little flames to rekindle the much-vaunted marriage covenant. None of these women it would seem looked kindly on bible study at all or even prayer time with the family for that matter. In fact, ‘daddy’, as one referred to her husband, preferred to attend fellowship most evenings and this kept him away from home same way as the old vices would. ‘Mummy’, as I hope he calls his wife, because of her gruelling schedules at work and the need to stay with the children and look after the home cannot go with her husband to these fellowships, not that she cares much for this particular church. The church according to her was established long after she recognised herself as a believing and practising Christian. She and her husband were born and raised in the church where they got married and all the pastors know them well as adherents of the Christian faith. She doubts however that her husband will be too well recognised anymore because he has not set his foot in their church since he discovered a new one. Among her many complaints about her husband’s new church is that they focus too much on unseen and unidentified enemies whose powers became evident only after her husband became an active member of the church. He has even been invested with the title of elder at his tender age of 38. She at 36 was certainly not feeling very elderly. So now instead of benign prayers for all and sundry, even those they did not know as she was used to doing, they spend time sending curses disguised as prayers after unknown enemies. She finds it particularly embarrassing because her children ask her awkward questions she has no answers to and then they ask their grand parents, who in their turn ask her to explain what she herself did not understand or want to know. The one with the answers in the meantime has gone for fellowship. One of the other women had a more sinister complaint. Her husband in addition to being a major pillar without which the church will not stand, no longer does his duty at home. By that, she meant that instead of coming in the money keeps going out and she has had to take on more than would be her traditional share of raising the family. The final straw for her was when she found a hundred and fifty thousand naira in a nicely sealed envelope that was bound for church. This, at a time when the children’s fees had not been paid, she had to cut holes in the front of her children’s shoes so they would last till the end of term and she had had to borrow money from the neighbour only the day before to buy gas pending pay day. Me, I would have received the money on behalf of God, blessed my husband abundantly and answered some of his more pressing prayers. The good woman did not do this. She always ‘understood’ that her husband is a struggling man, surviving on the sporadic supply contracts that came his way and which used to bring in money at least periodically when he spent time going from office to office reminding them that he was available for work. Now he spent more time in church, waging prayer wars alongside the deaconess to whom a host of angels reveal endless messages that promise better fortunes. These good fortunes will come however, only if they persevere and continue to sow monetary seeds of faith watered with nights of vigil in which the wife has so far refused to take part. The church leaders see her as a major obstacle in the path of her husband’s progress but as far as she is concerned, she gets too tired from the battles of daily living to seek to do battles with spirits she cannot even see. She believes that God will bless the work of her hands if she does it faithfully and diligently. She was raised on those tenets and her parents who handed them down to her did not die of poverty. The third woman was merely savouring the holiday from church activities that her husband’s trip abroad had granted. She was thankful that this trip is an extended one and she will have some time to catch up with friends and family. She looked forward to attending the simple and solemn church services that did not necessitate her dressing to the nines and hopping on one foot to give endless praise and clap offerings and yodelling on to the Lord. When her friend commented that she was the one that introduced her husband, a one time Muslim, to Christianity she exclaimed that she did not expect him to catch the bug so bad. She had wanted him to accompany her to her solemn church services where they sang celestial hymns and where prayer meetings were structured, ‘civilised’ and predictable. I was not sure what she meant by civilised and would give anything to know her preferred place of worship. It would no doubt be one of the older churches not given to overt displays of emotion - or would passion be a better word? What the woman did not like was the number of fellowships they had to attend in addition to the regular twice-weekly church services that was compulsory for all members. She could not even dodge out of fellowships that were not compulsory because her husband, a key participant of the events, insists that a Christian wife must always be beside her husband. She wondered if his primal desire for children is what fuels her husband’s fervour for religion and when her friend asked if she did not want a child, she responded that she had every confidence that a baby will come in its own time. As far as she was concerned so much calling on God before doing the dirty kills her passion and she is often fast asleep by the time her husband finishes praying. How, she asked, does one explain that prayer is killing your love life? That religion has become the enemy, driving a wedge between you and your husband? The tremor in this woman’s voice, belying the sunny demeanour she dons to face the world, was the only indication of the pain and frustration she must feel at the betrayal of a husband who puts his need for religion before everything else including the wife he promised to cherish and to hold. I cannot claim to understand what it is that drives anyone, not to mention that much misunderstood and maligned species – men – to religion. I am not saying that religion is bad in itself but it says somewhere, maybe even in the bible that everything should be done in moderation. From the very beginning, man sought for the ultimate meaning of life and gave expression to this search in religious beliefs. Yet, nothing brings us closer to God than some deep desire or trials in our lives. Because of this and what some would flippantly describe as intellectual laziness we have allowed ourselves to be bought over by all sorts of new interpretations of old concepts of religion and fall prey to those who would exploit us for their own purposes. In my opinion, this has only been possible because a significant number of Christians today were not grounded enough in the original concepts to be able to critically examine new interpretations that now make it possible to present religion as the enemy. I am pretty confident that women are not alone when it comes to enduring the religious zeal, latterly acquired, of a spouse who lives life just for their church and its activities. It may send some into paroxysms of analyses about religious compatibility between couples and its effects on marriage. All it makes me ask is, when did those churches, the ones to which our parents introduced us, steeped in orthodoxy and which supported families to thrive, when did they go so far out of fashion?
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Last Updated ( Thursday, 24 April 2008 ) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
Services : E-mail news | 
RSS Feeds | Podcasts
Links: About the NVS | Contact Us | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies | Advertise With Us
All Rights Reserved. NigeriaVillageSquare.com
Posted by Robot| 24.07.2006 23:55