Life was smooth and sweet until one night when I heard a wailing cry in our home. It was mom who had just given up her long and chequered fight against cancer. Being the eldest girl-child; I stepped into her shoes and the ‘mother’ of my 5 siblings: three sisters and three brothers. I was only 10 years old but had to grow up faster than my peers to mature into a woman in my early teens. In college, I had no boyfriends, avoided disco parties and found solace in church where I found the value of spirituality in facing the challenges of life.

I always had this nagging fear within that cancer was on a prowl in my family. My younger brother, Chikwe was only 15 when a bulge in his neck grew bigger, and no sooner, he died. I was only 18 when he was lowered into the grave. Death kept its claws far from my family for a long time. I finished from the university early enough and got a good job in an oil and gas company in Lagos where I relocated to upon graduation.  I soon became the bread winner after dad’s business slumped and began to record deficits. I had to diversify by establishing a small scale fashion company through which I produced and sold ladies’ wears to make extra money to augment my salary.

My youngest brother, Emeka had this plan to become the greatest attorney at law in Nigeria. But before he could gain admission into the university, he noticed a swelling in his left leg. I took him round the best private hospitals in Lagos but they could not diagnose the problems. After a long search, we located a hospital where the biopsy was conducted and the swelling was detected to be carcinogenic and at an advanced stage. The surgeon gave him a few months to live and Emeka thus began to count the demise of his childhood dreams.

Then help came through a philanthropist who contacted an oncologist in Madrid Spain and made arrangements to bring Emeka over for some attention. I had to accompany Emeka after my boss approved my leave of absence. We arrived Spain,a beautiful country early enough for Emeka to commence his chemotherapy and radiotherapy after he had the leg with a growth amputated. He responded well to the treatment and I hoped for the best for him.

While Emeka was undergoing radiotherapy, I decided to do a thorough breast examination at the same hospital. To my chagrin, a lump was discovered and after the biopsy, the confirmatory test revealed it was cancerous .Following the excision of the lump in my breast; I went through radiotherapy and chemotherapy for a couple of weeks. After 9 months, I went back to Lagos Nigeria to resume work at the oil company where I handled the quality checks on the finished petroleum products that were imported into Nigeria by my company.

My return was a hilarious one for my family members back in Nigeria. Some friends and colleagues who came to see me displayed signs of prejudice due to their ignorance about cancer. At some point, I had to open up my chest area to show the incision lines on my breast for a few who had thought that my breast was excised during the surgery. Some close friends with time began to maintain some distance from me, and my fiancé and I grew emotionally apart and eventually broke up. He dumped me when I needed his emotional support more than ever, but who would have loved to marry a woman whose breast might one day be sliced off by the scalpel of a plastic surgeon as I had been told was the last resort should the cancer progress.

The hospitals in Nigeria where I visited for medical checks were ill-equipped to provide the needed care and the oncologists were not as up-to-date in their knowledge and skills like their European counterparts. I was constrained to visit Europe every 6 months to keep an appointment with my doctor and after 18 months stay in Nigeria after my surgery, I had to make a painful decision. I left my home country, my family and cherished friends and relocated to Ireland so I can have access to qualitative care and away from the prejudice that I had endured as a young cancer patient.

Settling down in Dublin was difficult but with persistence, I got into a chain marketing outfit and climbed the ladder pretty fast to become a manager in record time. Life was good but not without the challenges and realities of living with breast cancer. I got romantically involved with a cute Nigerian guy in my church as the attraction was mutual. When the romance progressed and we were both deeply in love, I told him about my health challenges hoping that he would stand by me, but I was to face another rude shock. He withdrew like my ex-fiancé and feigned to be too busy to maintain any relationship with me. I nursed my bruised heart and fell into depression for a pretty long time but I was determined to live life to the fullest and find fulfillment through my job and humanitarian service to my immediate community.

Overtime, the reality of death began to hit my consciousness as my body began to wane in strength and vigor. Visits to the cancer specialists became more often and the medical reports painted not too comfortable pictures about my health condition. I could not deny the facts; shrinking body with wrinkles, intractable body aches and pain, fussy mind etc… which worsened as the weeks and months strode by. I remember how sad I felt when I could no longer mutter out words to express my thanks to my close family and friends who had stood there with me all along. The big blow came when the doctors at the Life Support Unit ran out of options and painfully told my family to take me home. Tears welled up the eyes of the team members when they painfully told me about it for we’d so bonded since my visits to the hospital were regular. And who knows how many patients they’ had to cry for in the past. Waiting for death was a reality that I couldn’t handle, and as each day passes by, my body’s depreciation heightens and I know I would someday soon have my lungs empty of life’s breath…!

Robot  Villager

# 1 ...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 19.07.2008 01:52

datuouwadaberechi  Villager

# 2 what an inspiring story even though, sad. i lost my sister two years ago to cancer and honestly i dont know when i'll ever get over it. its not that am sad everyday, but i do occasionally get depressed when i think of the unfulfilled promises of life. may the Lord strengthen u in your weakness and uplift your spirit at this trying time. its hard to imagine what u went through with ur losses and what u r passing through in this time of trial, but i wish u well. and dont forget that we may not always understand the ways of the Lord, but we can always be sure that He loves us and has good plans for us. "the Lord moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform". take care. Posted by datuouwadaberechi| 19.07.2008 05:02

Ayomide  Villager

# 3 Thank you Felix…thank you for telling this story of one/some of us dying unnecessarily here and there.. (Our Sister): I am so sorry that you had to suffer like this…so deeply sorry…. Breast Cancer, in particular, is no longer a death sentence with proper, timely intervention….But that is neither here nor there for you now. Oh…I feel your pain and I’m praying with you for the days ahead…You’re no longer alone, I know. HE is there and holds your hand tightly, and your life will not be for naught. Your story will certainly help someone somewhere. It will remind others to take care of themselves now that there is an opportunity to do so.. May the Almighty Father ease your pain and grant you Peace in your journey….. I know .bebi has called on women to do SBE(self breast exam) monthly on another thread. Thank you .bebi… Please, also, allow me to encourage women who may have been diagnosed with breast cancer to NOT hesitate to have both breasts removed after proper psychological counseling and intervention if necessary. There is always breast reconstruction available freely afterwards. And, there is no contraindication for a future pregnancy or childbirth after breast excision.. As much as it is recommended, not all children are breastfed or have to be. Please get your Mammogram TODAY. Yes, I had mine 2 days ago. Yes, there can be some discomfort associated with the test but it’s less than a minute. Not much when we’re talking about the rest of one’s life. If there are no indicators for more frequent testing, Mammos are recommended at least every 2 yrs; plus SBE monthly…preferably about 10 days after your menstrual cycle begins. This allows for less discomfort/tenderness during the exam. If you need to learn how to do this correctly, any website should have the info. If not, pls. PM me or .bebi or any of the healthcare people/educators on NVS. If you’re sexually active, get your cervical screen yearly, otherwise, every 2 yrs is adequate…(If the cervical screen is suspicious, you may have to continue screening frequently until the anomaly is rectified). While you’re at it, please ask for a STI/STD clearance to include a HIV test. If you’re sexually active, please, please use condoms.. If the man refuses, get your own condoms! Chlamydia is still one of the culprits of infertility.. Worse, you know what AIDS is all about. Parents with teenagers(females) who are not sexually active should please have a discussion with their family physician/provider about GARDASIL. Some benefits of cervical cancer prevention have been indicated even with sexually active teenagers(females). Men…you’re not off the hook. I believe Villager NAR wrote an article on Prostate Cancer not too long ago. Pleases, read it if you have a minute. As I indicated there, please endeavor to make a date at your SO’s annual Physical Exam. If your SO refuses to have his prostate checked, refuse to go home! Same goes for Testicular exam. Some cancers are on the rise, although many are still benign. Ask your doctor how to perform this properly. And yes, Men should check their breasts as well routinely for any new lumps or irregularities. Why all these? So many of us have been/ are being afflicted by this catastrophe, and it’s usually familial in nature, besides the environmental and health calamities bestowed by our beloved country. As a reminder, have your B/P, Cholesterol, Diabetes screening today too. Kidney diseases, strokes and metabolic problems are killing us, people of color, and rapidly... Posted by Ayomide| 19.07.2008 05:19

Oluwato  Villager

# 4 =Robot;4295072246>...Read the full article. Very touching! I would like to confirm - Felix, is this fiction or reality? Please confirm. Thanks. Oluwato _________________________ _________________________ =datuouwadaberechi;4295072276>what an inspiring story even though, sad. i lost my sister two years ago to cancer and honestly i dont know when i'll ever get over it. its not that am sad everyday, but i do occasionally get depressed when i think of the unfulfilled promises of life. may the Lord strengthen u in your weakness and uplift your spirit at this trying time. its hard to imagine what u went through with ur losses and what u r passing through in this time of trial, but i wish u well. and dont forget that we may not always understand the ways of the Lord, but we can always be sure that He loves us and has good plans for us. "the Lord moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform". take care. I pray that the comfort of the Holy Spirit be yours. May you choose to rejoice in the Lord always knowing that He loves you much more than you could ever love yourself. God didn't take your sister... but I'll leave that for another time. _________________________ _________________________ =Ayomide;4295072280> If you’re sexually active, please, please use condoms.. If the man refuses, get your own condoms! Chlamydia is still one of the culprits of infertility.. ... If only, if only, if only... if wishes were horses.... Posted by Oluwato| 20.07.2008 02:12

nuggetzman  JJC

# 5 Thanks Oluwato Sure it's a true life story...in memory of a close friend who died of cancer last year. It was a contribution to a reproductive health journal that requested for stories to share, and I felt I should use the 'voice' of my friend to share her story...knowing that many out there may've similar stories to share! Cheers Nuggetzman Posted by nuggetzman| 21.07.2008 03:58

Oluwato  Villager

# 6 =nuggetzman;4295072867>Thanks Oluwato Sure it's a true life story...in memory of a close friend who died of cancer last year. It was a contribution to a reproductive health journal that requested for stories to share, and I felt I should use the 'voice' of my friend to share her story...knowing that many out there may've similar stories to share! Cheers Nuggetzman Thanks for sharing. My sincere condolences. Posted by Oluwato| 21.07.2008 23:41