Sometimes parents sit and watch their children in play and interaction and from instinct can tell what manner of children they gaze upon. Some by exhibition of leadership qualities, they surmise, may be leaders. Some, by exhibition of care and concern for others, may turn out to be humanitarian servants. Some because of their aggression, the parents can tell that unless corrected, they may turn out to be bullies. Parenting then, steps in with corrective measures. Others, yet have too passive a demeanor and as such are likely to be taken advantage of if they do not assert themselves well enough.

I had the opportunity to play the parent this past weekend. I was at a Nigerian Party at Odenton. The party was going on in the basement as I sat in the living room torn between the book I was reading and the TV commentary of Basketball and Obama/Clinton contest on CNN. The Party took an interesting turn as most of the husbands made their ways to the kitchen with some bottles of scotch or whatever they were drinking. The young married men mostly aged between twenty-five and thirty-five got my attention when in their usual loud voices, they turned to politics and the economy of Nigeria . Everybody had an important opinion and loudly insisted that you hear him out. I wonder what the neighbors would have thought. The ladies for some reason, just stayed out of the conversation and although some displayed a very serious interest, all kept away from the fray. Maybe the volume was too loud for them and the passion unhealthy for their delicate frames. But I could tell from their looks that the ladies were kind of bemused by grown men arguing like children, each utilizing the highest decibel of his vocal chords. The men were so engaged that when the cake was brought in, we had to beg for a truce to make the lady who brought the cake happy by making believe it was a 'National cake' and each should grab before it was all gone.

The discussion turned on what it took to succeed in Nigeria . It was almost to the man, a given that bribery was involved; if you knew someone in authority, it was a bonus. Some were really mad at the crop of leaders who all, they opined, had stolen their patrimony. But almost all seemed agreed on the premise that it was alright to use influence, bribery, or any means to be ‘successful’ or to ‘make it’. It reminded me of another setting and another crowd of professionals I had experienced at a friend’s house party in Los Angeles ; there as in this event, they all were waiting for ‘their turn’ to do anything possible to make it super rich. When I appealed to their consciences, they all but shut me up and admonished me not to bring my morality into it.

The state of the nation

All at the weekend party agreed that the country was in a mess, that the infrastructure was in shambles and that the people were not secure in their lives and property not as a result of inherent poverty but as a result of misappropriation and bad governance. But all were oblivious to doing anything to solve the puzzle. I tried gently to steer the conversation to point to what can be done; but all resisted the need for solutions and would rather dwell on how to get ahead, how to amass as much wealth for themselves, after-all, all others have been doing it, it was their turn. I then asked if any of them planned to go back to Nigeria some day. Some asked what the use was or why it was important.

This is why it is important: Most of the group of Nigerians I have had the pleasure of meeting in the Diaspora, have a minimum of a first Degree, and do not have student loans to repay for the rest of their lives; they are enabled entry into the American economy, for instance, as a part of the middle class – paid by the Nigerian government. With their initial educational start, they are able to be upward-mobile with an advantage other immigrants do not have. The Next Generation Nigerians are already here. If their mores, aspirations and development goals are as enumerated by the persons I have met in the Diaspora, then Nigeria is about to have the Next Wasted Generation. This is because, whereas, Capitalism is good and brings out the best in human endeavor, what has been in practice in Nigeria is looting of the state by the elite to build private empires to the neglect of state infrastructure and a destruction of normal political systems that work elsewhere.

Why should anyone care?

The question is why should you care if you are doing well and your family is well taken care of? Because if you have the latest Hummers, and best Mercedes Benz cars, you still would need good roads to enjoy the ride. If you generate your own electricity and are the only shining light on your hill, it would attract the more attention to you, some negative. If your children get to escape to Swiss Finishing Schools and ride and play around because their father ‘made it’ they still will miss a sense of belonging when some day they are called the ‘N-Word’ and told they are not good enough because they come from your corner of Africa. Because almost all of the attendees at this party were from one part of Nigeria, almost all erroneously conceded without debate that once you are from the north, you are 'made'. I pursued the thought to find out why and was asked if I was not a Nigerian, that all northerners make it if they ever go to school. When I told them I was from the so-called north, they asked what state I was from. A caveat was then entered, that the middle-belt was different. Why should the place of origin be important to your success in life is another question begging to be answered.

Moral Fiber

The moral fiber of the nation gives to it a sense of right and wrong. Persons are outraged at a given behavior because from instruction and use, they have come to see such as objectionable. Such moral suasion comes from nurture, religion, mass-media and the laws and mores of the society. What are the laws of Nigeria is certain, but what are the mores when most of the leaders rig themselves into power positions? Where is the outrage when this happens? Some are of the opinion that because Nigerians are so poor, they cannot strive for a change. I beg to differ. I have met very many poor persons with dignity who would not even steal when hungry, much as I have met persons who have enough but still steal. Nigerians being from a very religious community, the fault must be ascribed to the manipulators of the flocks, whether they be the Islamic mullahs who after the Friday Mosque incite their followers to riot and wanton killings or the ‘Prosperity Preachers’ who fill the heads of their followers the lie that Jesus came to give them material wealth, not character. Within the 'Christian flock' are also those who believe that if you are not doing everything to 'make it' you are not in obedience to God or that you are living 'below your covenant rights'. As unharmful as that might seem, it is open sesame for all kinds of coveteousness within the ranks of the evangelical church in Nigeria. The same persons, therefore, who should be the standard for decorum, have become the lightling rod for every get-rich quick scheme.

Change Within

Change begins within. Anyone who pines after the status quo would when accorded the opportunity to serve, serve just like the status quo. If however, persons have a changed outlook, a different perspective; when an opportunity comes, they are less likely to behave like the others before them. That is why persons are following Obama; they percieve that he has a different outlook. A person who has thoughts of adultery is an adulterer waiting to happen; all he needs is an opportunity. That indeed is the explanation for the saying from the good book, that ‘as a man thinks, so is he’. What are the young Nigerians thinking? What opportunities are they waiting for? Opportunities to change from the ignoble past or opportunities to join the rank of the rich and famous no matter how? Nuhu Ribadu, for instance had his character formed as a person before he got his position. If he was wont to compromise, we would not be talking of his so-called selectivity in prosecution today. Persons who have harangued Ribadu for what he did or failed to do, would do well to seek to ask what would be their approach if they are given the job for a day. Persons who are waiting for their turn at the 'National cake' should not complain that Ribadu did not do a good job because they lack the moral fiber or qualification to complain. But most Nigerians expect Ribadu to imprison the 'bad men' while they plot to have their turn at the trough.

Looking Forward

Wole Soyinka called his generation a “Wasted Generation”, It is time before we hit the mid-life mark to ask of our generation what they stand for, what they are willing to die for, what quality of life they are willing to live for. How much is too much, when it will be time to say “Enough Already”. Are the current leaders the best foot we can put forward? Is any willing to get off the fence and out of their comfort zones? Are we satisfied because we have lied that we were persecuted by Abacha and have asylum, we were married to our sisters and have the green-card or we won the lottery and are now ensconced in a country built by others sweat, tears and blood? Can this generation make changes to Nigerian political schematics? There is a saying, a people will have the leadership they deserve. Is this the best leadership that Nigerians deserve? Before one accuses me that I live in the Diaspora, please note that the Jews while living in the Diaspora with a major control of the economies of their host countries, with control of the media, with some of the best doctors, lawyers and scientists in these economies advocated and built for themselves a new state of Israel to become a world power while living in the Diaspora. And now, all Jews are again leaving their comfort zones in droves and going back to their dangerous homeland. Where are the visionaries for Nigeria ? Most escape artist say 'They should" do such and such. None dare use the phrase "Let us". Nigeria should be built on the efforts of others, it behooves others to do the work, none take responsibility, all are victims seeking asylum from themselves, welcome the Next Wasted Generation. What do you think?

Robot  Villager

# 1 Sometimes pa...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 04.03.2008 16:19

What?  Villager

# 2 This is a great article but I do not know what possessed you to write such an article. The world that faces the African(no matter whatever citizenship they claim) is very cold and bitter. We would rather run away and indulge in our fantasy escapes world rather than engage in the harsh realities of our existence. Let me go now to pray for a messiah and a paradise for 140 million people on the budget of New York City. Maybe everyone else will like me enough to suffer and sacrifice to build their countries so my great-great- grandchildren can show up when the job is completed to look for jobs. Posted by What?| 04.03.2008 18:34

Oghre  Villager

# 3 Pay your respects to the late Brigadier-General Solomon Giwa Amu at: http://solomon-giwaamu.memory-of.com/About.aspx Posted by Oghre| 04.03.2008 20:01

katampe  Villager

# 4 I enjoyed this article, and it resonates with me on many layers of reasoning. One of the layers is the future of one's kids and the pride of their living in in a western country is premised on the notion that the western world will be a fairer place for black people. If that is the trajectory of future events, or the path of the future, it means it can only get better. But if this is not, it is extreme optimism to hope for such a world? I wish my doubts can tell me it is not. But somehow, and sometimes I feel I should not be habouring such thoughts. But rather work for a future I can guarantee such future for them. Your article somehow refreshes my doubt , and fuels my inner yearnings. However we seem to slice and dice the affairs of the country; it is still a place that we can lay claim to, and without no atom of self doubt. Sometimes, when you look at the madness and the mess Nigeria has found itself, it confirms one thing - there are limitless opportunities for the bold and the beautiful in spirit. The electricity, housing , transportation, and water problem present a challenge that can be overcome and an opportunity for our generation to make our mark as the founding fathers of a new country. But the major issues that dog us and make mincemeat of intelligent quests are noxious and vexatious posturing of tribes. Please people what do we do about the word , tribe? How do we tackle this issue that has held us hostage for most of our national life? Posted by katampe| 04.03.2008 22:35

K_Station  Villager

# 5 Brilliant article! Katampe raised an important point in that you always seem to hit a brick wall every time you think about Nigeria and how we can tackle the issues that has held us hostage for most of our lives. In my opinion, there are two basic scenarios for the future of our country: 1. A grassroots movement that will be led by some rare Nigerian visionary(ies) in the mould of Gani Fawehinmi (when he was younger). This movement will not necessarily seek to acquire power in the interim but bring regular folks together around real issues facing our country. I believe it is this kind of grassroots tsunami (with the active support of the emerging middle class and Nigerians in diaspora) that have the potential to finally sweep the corrupt political class out of power. 2. On the other hand, our tribal and petty differences do us in and we break up into different ethnic nationalities. Each nationality will then seek their own new beginning. Posted by K_Station| 05.03.2008 01:22

Onari  Villager

# 6 =K_Station;4294993683> 2. On the other hand, our tribal and petty differences do us in and we break up into different ethnic nationalities. Each nationality will then seek their own new beginning. k_station, I agree with you on your number one ascensions-great idea, but your number two I do not agree because tribal and ethnic differences for me as I see Nigeria is not the problem our nation is facing. There is no guarantee that breaking up Nigeria will give us a new beginning and better leadership. With same altitude and behavior the result will never change. We can not be doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. Tribal differences to me is not a major issue in our country to be candid. It does not even account for the 3 percent of the country's problem. With good leadership, very few Nigerians will bother with where one came from. I know some people in this forum will not agree with me, but taking a look back at the governors who led their various state from 1999 to May 2007, as glaring example, they are indigenes of their various state, still non of them really dedicated their time to uplift the predicament of their state's men and women. The relative substantial amount of money given to their states ended up in their pockets...this behavior is not an ethnic or tribal thing, it is purely an individual's moral fiber that lacks quality of character. Posted by Onari| 05.03.2008 11:30

MrOneNaija  Villager

# 7 A NEEDLESS INTRUSION An insightful commentary by Terfa that risks being ruined by a needless allusion to a morally challenged entity called Nuhu Ribadu! Any unwarranted attempt to cast the lawless and blackmailing Obasanjo adjunct as role model in the struggle for a sane, morality-based communal living is bound to fail. Nuhu Ribadu, for instance had his character formed as a person before he got his position. If he was wont to compromise, we would not be talking of his so-called selectivity in prosecution today. Persons who have harangued Ribadu for what he did or failed to do, would do well to seek to ask what would be their approach if they are given the job for a day. Persons who are waiting for their turn at the 'National cake' should not complain that Ribadu did not do a good job because they lack the moral fiber or qualification to complain. But most Nigerians expect Ribadu to imprison the 'bad men' while they plot to have their turn at the trough. Posted by MrOneNaija| 05.03.2008 13:33

ozoodoo  Villager

# 8 @Ula-Lisa, Thanks for a job well done. Posted by ozoodoo| 05.03.2008 19:05

uchebush  Villager

# 9 This is a VERY well articulated piece. I agree with you on several scores. If we want to destroy those demons that have kept us from soaring, we must confront them; if we want our dreams to come true, we must wake up. The wind of change is blowing in Nigeria. After the revolutions in the tribunals and the Court of Appeal, the EFCC cases must be stepped up so that judgements can be delivered. The day people who have held and abused high public office begin to serve time in jail with hard labour is the day that sanity will begin to return to public office. Uche Ohia Posted by uchebush| 06.03.2008 10:42

ula-lisa  Villager

# 10 =MrOneNaija;4294993834>A NEEDLESS INTRUSION An insightful commentary by Terfa that risks being ruined by a needless allusion to a morally challenged entity called Nuhu Ribadu! Any unwarranted attempt to cast the lawless and blackmailing Obasanjo adjunct as role model in the struggle for a sane, morality-based communal living is bound to fail. Tondu: The question asked, which you have not answered remains: Persons who have harangued Ribadu for what he did or failed to do, would do well to seek to ask what would be their approach if they are given the job for a day. We need to not only move to espousing suggestions, but also to be galvanized to action or we may yet die, the Next Wasted Generation. Peace Da Bishop. Posted by ula-lisa| 12.03.2008 20:46