30

Mar

2007

Ebi's Naija Chronicles #1: The Best Chocolate PDF Print E-mail
By Ebi Bozimo

Unless specifically granted permission to the contrary, I choose to maintain the anonymity of people and organizations I interact and interface with in order to respect their privacy and confidence(s). Beyond that, I labor under no topical restrictions or stylistic considerations and randomly address topics of interest to me from an unalloyed, unapologetic Nigeria-centered perspective, today and everyday.


(01) The Best Chocolate

First a brief update on me: I work in a Nigerian owned and led company where everyone around me is as smart as a tack. I hope and believe I contribute in my small way to us all keeping on our collective toes. It is a pleasure to be surrounded daily by people who look, think and affected by the same things that affect me, cautiously optimistic and excited with the news and economic prospects of Tinapa opening soon or appalled by the  ineptitude of the leadership of the Power Holding Company of Nigeria (or Problem Has Changed Name!).

In the course of my work day, questions are asked and it's expected that my answers will contribute to the bottom line and possibly even morph into broader company policy. Suffice it to say, it is incredibly fulfilling. I'm inspired daily by the company's Managing Director who is an extremely visionary, incredibly brilliant, completely self-assured young Nigerian!

We are all focused on collaboratively accomplishing tasks that will improve NIGERIA and advance the cause of NIGERIANS. Hey, think that's selfish? Who'll do it if we don't?

If a single experience could capture my elation at returning to Nigeria, I guess this 'blip' in the course of my work day last week could.

Two company staff who had just returned from training abroad came to the office with chocolate they CLAIM they bought for us all while they were there. (Hmmmm... why did I then see Apongbon tags on the chocolate...? Anyway as the chocolate was being distributed around the office, one of our expatriate staff blurted out "The best chocolate in the world comes from my country...".

He had barely got the words out of his mouth when my MD retorted "Which your country?" "Where do you think the cocoa comes from?" "The best chocolate in the world ultimately comes the Southwest of MY country - Nigeria!"

In that instant, I felt justifiably proud to be back in Nigeria and admired the mindset of some Nigerians who aren't so quick to fall for the customary 'truths'. Needless to say, our brother from another land promptly ceased conversation along those lines. It was the wrong place, people and product, I guess.

I'm luxuriating in the fact that I'm participating in changing the world as it is known from the midst of so many awesome Nigerians who only see possibilities when they see, sell or speak about Nigeria.

Of course we ALL complain about Problem Has Changed Name (PHCN) and we all realize that there can SURELY be a better way to control traffic/ distribute petroleum products/ plant rice/ clean the streets etc. but there's nowhere that I'm more alive than right here in God's OWN country! I'm living my dream!



(02) Dead President(ial Candidates?)

It started as a rumor that quickly gained currency. I'm confident that MTN, Glo and Celltel made huge amounts that day from the multitude of calls and text messages that must have fairly flown across and beyond the nation. (Who knows, maybe THEY planted the rumors... Hmmm!)

Being something of a newshound, I immediately began to scour the web for a confirmation or dispelling of the rumor but none was forthcoming. All the Nigerian news sites online were extremely cautious about the story EXCEPT BusinessDay Online who boldly and irrefutably 'scooped' the story, proclaiming "Yar'adua is dead" and even including a scrolling news ticker!

Wow! I wondered. What would be the effect of this 'spanner' thrown into an already heated and murky political situation? I marvelled at how the eagle-eyes on NVS were already creating threads and posting virtually in 'real time' about the story.

When my curiousity prevailed, I made a carefully placed call to someone who knew someone else who would surely be in the know. Within moments, I learned that Yar'adua was very much alive, in total contrast to the news headline I had printed to pdf for posterity from BusinessDay Online.

Perhaps one day, when I get to meet Yar'adua, I'll frame it and present to him as a Presidential gift (if he does eventually win). It might serve to keep him humble, by reminding him that he, like EVERY other person, will SURELY die; maybe that knowledge will inspire him to make an effort to 'live' beyond his earthly years by actually creating a lasting developmental legacy in Nigeria.



(03) Dishonest Nigerians? Nope!

I was mired in typical Lagos traffic, heading along Kingsway road to Victoria Island from Ikoyi along Kingsway road. As I ascended on the bridge over Falomo roundabout, I was confronted with the incredible selection of every kind of household and business good possible.

The thing I'm yet to see (and there could be a great business idea in this!) is a fully functional printer/scanner/fax stand on the bridge to enable you fax documents in advance to the meeting you are obviously running late for! That I haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

Anyway, here I am surrounded by people peddling their wares, doing their best to stay out of trouble and contribute to their own well-being and livelihood. I call a man selling recharge cellphone cards at the bottom of the bridge, buy a couple and pay him. You may be aware that the lower currency notes (5, 10, 20, & 50 Naira) have been changed and if I may say so, they look mighty nice, compared, at least, with the older, bosom- or crotch-sweat saturated and stained notes (eew! Yeah! I went there) we typically get to stroke and savour.

As I'm still trying to get used to the different notes, I didn't realize I'd made a mistake.  Right after I completed the transaction, an opening appeared in the traffic and those familiar with Lagos traffic know that is considered a God send! I wound up the window, stepped on the gas and zoomed ahead, shooting some 40 - 50 meters up the bridge.

To my surprise, I caught a glimpse of the recharge card vendor running vigorously up the bridge. It soon emerged he was pursuing me and I wondered what his problem could possibly be because I'd paid for the card I'd bought AND bantered briefly with him, so kilo de, I wondered?

As he reached my window, I wound it down suspiciously and favored him with a questioning glance. All my I.G.G. (initial gra gra) melted because it turned out I had given him too much money and this man had pursued someone who he might statistically NEVER see again, to return the excess money! For his trouble I told him to keep the change. His honesty had earned him that much, at least!

My point? This gentleman is the typical Nigerian. Well brought up, possessed of a sense of right and wrong, self-respect and honor. I will continue to seek out people like him and, God granting me favor, honor them materially, emotionally and with any other form of recognition I can muster.

God Bless Nigeria because He carries a Green Passport



Your Comments

Please make The Square an enjoyable experience for everyone by refraining from gratuitous ad-hominem contributions, defamatory comments and off-topic posting. Such posts will be removed.

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RobotRobot is offline

 # 1 | 29.03.2007 22:50

I returned to Nigeria early in 2007 after sojourning in the USA. The following is an unscripted s...Read the full article.

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NonyellumNonyellum is offline

 # 2 | 29.03.2007 23:47

EeeZeeBee, you made it! Good luck my brother. You just made my week. Thanks for sharing this wonderful diary of sorts.

A professional acquaintance from Dallas moved with his entire family to Nigeria last month.

A friend from NY is puting finishing touches to his business in Abuja, he's all set to go.

A childhood friend from NY is in Abuja as I write tying up some loose ends before the final move some time this year.



The good news is that some seriously want to go back home to Nigeria.
Me, I go follow una ooh. I'm furiously working on my end too.


I wish you all the very, very best, bro. God bless your efforts.

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KnightofdeltaKnightofdelta is offline

 # 3 | 30.03.2007 02:43


My point? This gentleman is the typical Nigerian. Well brought up, possessed of a sense of right and wrong, self-respect and honor. I will continue to seek out people like him and, God granting me favor, honor them materially, emotionally and with any other form of recognition I can muster.



I must tell you that you have made a general statement that only Nigerians stay in Nigeria. My brother from all that you know this young man may just be a Camerounian new in Lagos. He may soon know how the system runs and in a few months time he will run after you and tell you that you paid him only N100 when in actual fact you gave him a N1000.

The Knight of Delta.

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AbraxasAbraxas is offline

 # 4 | 30.03.2007 03:27


=Nonyellum;164668>EeeZeeBee, you made it! Good luck my brother. You just made my week. Thanks for sharing this wonderful diary of sorts.

A professional acquaintance from Dallas moved with his entire family to Nigeria last month.

A friend from NY is puting finishing touches to his business in Abuja, he's all set to go.

A childhood friend from NY is in Abuja as I write tying up some loose ends before the final move some time this year.



The good news is that some seriously want to go back home to Nigeria.
Me, I go follow una ooh. I'm furiously working on my end too.


I wish you all the very, very best, bro. God bless your efforts.



Hi, Mr. I Love Nigeria (pass Obasanjo) !

I fervently look forward to the day when
YOU too wold declare (with fanfare and certainty) your final return to Nigeria from New York, as an IT guru!

Youths Earnestly Ask for Paul Adujie!
(YEAPA)!

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan Carlos ABRAXAS (III)

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nallanahnallanah is offline

 # 5 | 30.03.2007 03:52

Ebi,

If only you know how much your article has lifted my spirits this morning.

I myself are putting final touches to returning back home; and the excitement is euphoric

to say the least. I know there are a myriad of problems in Nigeria, but personally I do

not feel as fulfilled as when I am amongst my"people".........no apologies!

I think that for most of us in the diaspora, there comes a time when your "spirit" yearns

to be with your kith and kin.

...all the very best of luck and God Bless you.

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OluiwaOluiwa is offline

 # 6 | 30.03.2007 05:59


=Knightofdelta;164680>I must tell you that you have made a general statement that only Nigerians stay in Nigeria. My brother from all that you know this young man may just be a Camerounian new in Lagos. He may soon know how the system runs and in a few months time he will run after you and tell you that you paid him only N100 when in actual fact you gave him a N1000.

The Knight of Delta.



HI, The K.O.D. sorry to say but you are wrong, I want to implore you not to cloud all situations in Naija with the injustices we all see happening in the oil rich Niger delta.

You or anyone is justfied to be angry.

However what Ebi said is true, its what i have always known, most nigerians are honorable people, I too have experienced such situations wherby honesty is displayed quite naturally, People of Nigeria have a saying "its not good to steal another mans sweat" (keeping the overpayment would have been stealing in many naija's books).

However when it comes to stealing Government money its a different case and we are all too familiar with fund embezzling politicians, who rob the state treasury blind, in the guise of "National Cake share" its easier to rob the govt without guilt because in nigeria's case the Govt has no hegemonic umbrella.

A 'corrupt' yoruba man or hausa man can steal national money without much guilt because he has no natural alligience to the entity called Nigeria. In his warped logic if he steals govt money he is taking his camps (ethnicity) dues, though in a selfish individualistic
manner.

What I have said so far is different from armed robbery and all types of assorted roguery
that goes on in Nigeria and all corners of the earth, except for the fact that Nigeria's security agencies are virtually ineffective making it to easy for crooks to operate.

Apart from all that most Nigerians are hard wired with the type of honesty displayed in Ebi's diary.

Finally all is not well though, as more and more of our institutions, both the traditional and modern fall on their knees under the weight of coruption and western imperialists, the situation at home gets more desperate for the masses and what we are seeing is that more people are dissillusioned with the society we live in and are easily giving in to evils they would not have considered doing when the socio-economic terrain was better.

Solution?
We have to identify all the institutions, that champion, total honesty, in Nigeria and fund them,protect them,glamourise them, use the media to promote these noble intitutions.

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dele26dele26 is offline

 # 7 | 30.03.2007 08:53

Ebi Bozimo ,

Me I happy for you well well oooo ...... even though some villagers dey envy ya return to motherland, but my advice be say the fear of husband snatchers, police, armed robbers, area boys, naim be the begining of wisdom.

Make you leave low profile life ooooooo .... biko

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Mikky jagaMikky jaga is offline

 # 8 | 30.03.2007 09:39

Thank God our brothers in diaspora are seeing it fit to return home at last. You are all welcome. If we all leave the country who will fix it?

I believe my position that I will not go through all the hassles Nigerians go through to get Visas is being vindicated at last in spite of the fact that some called me names because of it.

If we all shun those oyibo embassies like I do, they will be less vain about their rating of their countries.

Once again, I say welcome to motherland, and I hope you will not find an excuse to check out again.

I love my country I no go lie, Na inside am I go live and die...:biggrin:

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OkoloOkolo is offline

 # 9 | 30.03.2007 10:20

it is always a thing of joy to hear that a young Nigerian has found gainful employment and an opportunity to promote our country's growth by returning, living and working in Nigeria. However, i find it mildly annoying when Nigerians who live in Nigeria project this holier than thou attitude when refering to other Nigerians who choose to live outside the country. For those with misplaced feelings of superiority and sacrifice, i have the following words:

First, the fact that you have chosen to return to Niaja does not make you some sort of saint or matyr. You are a self professed Nigerian, so you should not expect some sort of accolades for choosing to live among your kith and kin.

Second, the mere fact that you live in Naija does not necessarily mean that your contributions to the country's development are more than the contributions of those outside the country. Do you research about the vast amounts of money sent home by self sacrificing Nigerians in the disapora and draw your own conclusions abou the effect these funds have on our economy.

Finally, we all know that life is full of choices. Your decision to return to Naija is yours alone to make. First walk in a man's shoes before making conclusive statements about his motivations and other wild statements about how he should express his patriotism or not.

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KelechiKelechi is offline

 # 10 | 30.03.2007 11:21

If you look closely enough, there is always something to cheer about in Nigeria. But these are just the vestiges of a people’s past; decimated but not obliterated. Well, that is a statement of fact and Ebi's diary comes across as honest and heartening. But truth be told, Ebi has gone home as a 'top player'. Though, not mixed up in dirty government benefits, Ebi is neither one of the 95 pc or more poor Nigerians.

Ebi's story however reminds me of the good old days when people closed ranks to deal with common problems in spite of their ethnic origin; when Muslims shared meat during Islamic festivals among their neighbours regardless of their own religions. And during Christmas or Easter, it was one big neighbourhood-family-party that did not discriminate. I remember those owambe parties that needed no invitation. Those were happy days indeed!

We have however come a long way from those days. The gradual shift in values and the enthronement of materialism has heightened our awareness of our 'differences' and our suspicion and dislike for each other. By the end of the 80's Nigeria had unequivocally established itself as a 'dog eat dog nation'.

For me the numerous times I have travelled back home lately, the aura I perceive from the average Nigerian is one of anger, suspicion, uncertainty, despondence, frustration, desperation, etc.

How sad, to imagine I saw it all going wrong as a teenager growing up. And even then, I wondered: "what is happening to my beloved Nigeria"? Perhaps, the rot started a long time before 'my good old days'. But they were good old days nevertheless. And if a whiff of those days has been replayed for you Ebi, I say, GOOD LUCK!
 

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