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Wọnu: I don’t mind exercise. I
just wonder when I’ll be able to sleep like a baby again. It’s as if I just
have survival sleep.
Ọlaọmọ: That’s the task of
parenting. Once you’re a parent, you’re in for a change of lifestyle.
“Tell me about it.” I stated.
“Everything changes. Parenting is a full time job. Your body changes, your
lifestyle changes, your cash flow changes, your friends change, your priorities
change, everything changes with a baby. I don’t blame those that choose to have
just one. Children spell money and time.”
Wọnu: Many have money and time,
but they lack peace of mind. It’s all the grace of God.
Ọlaọmọ: All it takes is wisdom.
Patrick and I have been saving for four years to have children. It’s wisdom.
“Let’s say it’s the three.” I
suggested. “It’s God’s grace, money, and wisdom.”
Ọlaade cooed as if he agreed with
me.
“So Wọnu,” I began “you’re going
to be exclusive for at least a year right?”
Wọnu: Definitely. I want to give
my only son the best while I can.
“Thank you.” I praised her. “I
always appreciate breastfeeding mothers. I think it’s partly because my mother
breastfed me for a year.”
Ọlaọmọ: No wonder you are so
committed. Our mum just did four months and that was it.
Wọnu: I asked mummy. It was due
to the adverts on TV. They misled many women. She actually thought that she was
giving us the best by feeding us formula.
“The horrors in our past are
many.” I stated. “I was also partially formula fed. My mother told me I just
refused to stop breastfeeding.”
Wọnu: I read the history of
formula and it was actually a prescription for babies whose mothers had died.
Then, economic exploitation took over.
Ọlaọmọ: I see, I had no idea. So
breastmilk is really the best for babies.
“Yes it is.” I said. “When I had
my first baby, I used to weigh him every two weeks to pattern his growth and
whenever we went for check ups, he always got a healthy score. My second one
was just the same. God made breasts for babies to thrive.
Wọnu: And for sexuality.
Ọlaọmọ: That’s secondary. After
the baby has eaten, then we can focus on the sensual.
“What I see as a problem is the
cosmetic function.” I stated, “In a way it’s linked to the sensual, but many
people are so hyped on how their breasts look that they have forgotten the real
purpose.”
Ọlaọmọ looked at Wọnu smiled,
then looked at me.
Ọlaọmọ: It’s notable that you
mentioned the propeller of the sex industry. You were referring to women being
more concerned about their looks than feeding babies. I think it’s really
deeper than that. It’s inordinate affection and lasciviousness. Remember what
Paul said in Colossians 3:5? Incidentally, Wọnu and I were discussing this on
the way here. The founder of our apostolic ministries was a pimp. I’m sure
you’ll be blessed by his testimony. Bad leadership has enslaved the minds of
both men and women. Why would anyone need to watch pornography? It’s the strong
delusion humans have imbibed.
“That’s the master deceiver at
work.” I answered. “It’s the Devil deceiving us, and we, humans allowing him to
deceive us.”
Wọnu: I still want to know about
the sexual function of the breast.
Ọlaọmọ: What about it?
Wọnu: Isn’t that important too?
“I think it is.” I responded. “However,
in my own opinion, that is secondary to the nourishing function.”
Wọnu: Secondary or primary is not
the issue. It still has sexual relevance right?
Ọlaọmọ: What’s the issue here?
Why the interest?
Wọnu: There’s this friend of mine
who is afraid that her breasts will fall if she breastfeeds. She’s concerned
that her husband will find her less appealing if she breastfeeds.
Ọlaọmọ: Her husband must be very
inconsiderate to place a lesser value on her for giving life to his child.
“It is true that some ladies
breasts’ fall.” I responded. “However, this is supposedly a genetic
disposition. In other words, the breasts would fall whether they breastfed or
not. Now, maybe breastfeeding could speed up the rate of falling, I don’t know
about that."
Wọnu: So her fears are not
baseless. Her breasts could fall.
Ọlaọmọ: So what if they fall.
That’s a sign of a job well done.
Wọnu: Well, her husband is a
breast-man. If she wants to keep his interest, she has to maintain her breast
line.
Ọlaọmọ: And I say that’s a moron
of a husband if breast line change causes a problem in his devotion to his
wife. She’s breastfeeding their child. What’s looks got to do with it?
“Are they Christians?” I asked.
Wọnu; Yes they are.
Ọlaọmọ: Who is this friend?
Wọnu: Bomi.
Ọlaọmọ: Eh! Oluwabomi?
Wọnu: Yes, the one that organized
my baby shower.
Ọlaọmọ: Ọkunrin ma le o (Men
can be difficult)! Derbrah if you see this lady’s husband, you would think he
could not hurt a fly. I can’t believe he’s like that.
“Usually, these things are with
people you don’t expect.” I responded. “I don’t know her, or him, so I can’t
make a valid assessment, however, I can say that even for “breastmen” and
“breastwomen”, some women are hyped up about breast line too, if that desire
prevents the nourishment of a little one, priorities are messed up.”
Wọnu: Bomi wants to have a child
but she’s torn between keeping her marriage after the baby comes if she
breastfeeds, or not breastfeeding all together.
Ọlaọmọ: Yet she loves
breastfeeding. She’s been to the house to see Wọnu. I caught her watching Wọnu
as she was breastfeeding.
“Some people get it.” I
responded. “Some don’t. I pray things work out well for her.”
Wọnu: So breast line could be an
issue.
“Depends on definition of
priorities.” I replied. “Yes, breasts may fall. If a marriage is on the rocks
for the sake of breast line, then it’s a bad marriage and was an ungodly one to
begin with.”
Wọnu: So what should Bomi do? She
knows her man and they’ve discussed it. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong
with formula and he doesn’t want his wife’s physique to change too much because
she’s had a baby.
“I think there are ways to slow
down the falling of the breastline.” I responded.
Ọlaọmọ: I think she should take
that husband of hers to their pastor for counseling. He’s selfish.
Wọnu: What if he’s like Wọle?
Ọlaọmọ: Let her pray and make
some decrees. These are the type of things one should discuss before marriage.
“I agree with you.” I stated. “I’m
thinking of putting together a pre marriage checklist. All the books I read,
tapes I listened to, and lectures I attended did not come close to what I
encountered in the ungodly marriage I found myself. The more couples know about
each other the better for them.”
Ọlaọmọ: It’s not the necklace.
Wọnu: What?
Ọlaọmọ: Ariel mother’s necklace.
That’s not the issue. I just remembered. I gave it to Gabriel. It’s something
else.
Wọnu: You are still disturbed
about this issue. I think it’s time for us to pray.
I agreed with her and we all held
hands again and prayed.
Ọlaọmọ: Thank you. I trust God to
help me out.
Just then, we heard the yell of a
lady sitting at the table across from us. We all turned to see what had
happened. A security officer went to the table and attended to them. Things
quieted after that and everyone continued business as usual.
Wọnu: I like the Christmas decorations here. It’s so African.
“Well, it’s not called home of
African excellence for nothing.” I responded.
Ọlaọmọ: Now that you mentioned
it, there’s no tree, no Santa Claus and no elves.
Wọnu: Yes there isn’t, just
lights and decorations promoting love and joy. It’s a different kind of
Christmas.
Ọlaọmọ: I like the food though,
father Christmas or not. I think I’m going to order a takeaway of this jollof
rice shrimp.
Wọnu: I know you said they opened
in May. It’s not even a year, but their service is good quality.
Ọlaọmọ: Look at that Christmas
painting. It’s neat.
Wọnu: Is that Joseph in Agbada
and Mary in Iro and Buba?
I turned round to see what they
were referring to and saw a narrative poster depicting the birth of Jesus
Christ in a stable with shepherds, Mary, Joseph, some other people, possibly
friends, and animals were in the picture. The uniqueness of this poster was the
attire of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. Even the shepherds and supporters too
were dressed in African clothes. There was no halo over anyone’s head.
“That’s new.” I stated. “I’ll ask mama Jade who designed
that. You know she gets a lot of stuff from vendors.”
Wọnu: Here’s another one. It’s the
epiphany.
Following her finger, I looked at the
other painting. This one had two men kneeling down presenting gifts.
Ọlaọmọ: Hmm. Why are there two men? Those
are the wise men right?
“Yes they must be.” I responded. “Perhaps
because the bible doesn’t say they were three wise men. It just said they
presented three gifts.”
Ọlaọmọ: You know you’re right. I’ve
always thought of three wise men because of the photos.
Wọnu: So how many wise men were there?
“I don’t know.” I replied. “I don’t think
the bible told us.”
Wọnu: That means there could be 2 or 30
or more.
Ọlaọmọ: Precisely.
“What about the time of the year?” I
asked “I read an article sometime ago that made a good case for the time of the
year not being December.”
Wọnu: That one I know. Jesus was born
either September or early October.
Ọlaọmọ: Where did you read that?
Wọnu: Wọle told me. You know he likes
such things. In fact I think he even mentioned August as a possibility.
Ọlaọmọ: What I heard is that Jesus was
born in the Springtime, either late March or early April.
“I don’t think that speculation is
correct.” I stated. “I lean more towards the September/October birth. That way
his birth must have been conceived in November or December. That’s one of the
reasons I don’t mind celebrating his birth in the month of December. What’s
more I believe that was the same month I was conceived as well. I celebrate
both my conception and birth day.”
Ọlaọmọ gigling, muttered, “You go girl”
Wọnu: So does that mean Christmas should
be celebrated as Mary pregnant instead of as Jesus born?
Ọlaọmọ: I don’t really think it matters
when we celebrate his birth, as long as we appreciate His resurrection
“Halleluya sister!” I stated giving her a
hi-five. “Many celebrate his birth but reject His resurrection. Wrong
priorities, I say.”
Ọlaade stirred in his sleep.
Ọlaọmọ: That’s my boy giving his
approval.
Wọnu: Should his birth even be celebrated
at all?
Ọlaọmọ: Well that’s what some Christians
argue. I don’t mind rejoicing at His birth. I just rejoice more at His
resurrection.
“My thoughts are similar.” I replied.
“I’m all for rejoicing. I just don’t get into bondage as many people do.”
Derbrah writes courtesy of Agape for All Ministries. Author
retains copyright.
Jadesọla’s restaurant is a
drama ministry of the Yoruba Christian Women (YCW), an international
faith-based non-governmental, not-for-profit organization. Similarity of names
and stories are coincidental. Feel free to copy for non-commercial use.
Commercial use requires permission. For more information on YCW write Jesutoyin
Ajikẹ-King (toyinking@yahoo.com).
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Posted by Robot| 01.01.2008 03:42