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Funsọ: Apostle Paul stated that to whom or to whatsoever one yields one’s members to, to that person or thing, one becomes a servant.
Iwa: So I am a servant to depression. But it's true I was abandoned and raised by strangers and I was attracted to the same sex for most of my life. I can’t just forget that and act as if it never happened.
Ire: No one’s asking you to forget. Rather we’re saying declare the victory you have in Christ, not the defeat you had in ignorance.
Dēbhōrah: I think she should forget. Paul talks about forgetting the things that are behind and reaching on to the things that are ahead.
Iwa: If you all had forgotten, you would not have created a drama script from your traumatic experiences.
“I prefer to think of it this way.” I put in. “We forget the negative emotions, images and words associated with the trauma, violation or evil we’ve experienced, and we acknowledge the victory, deliverance and authority we have in Christ.”
Bolu: Iwa, who are you in Christ?
Iwa: What do you mean?
Bolu: When you gave your life to Christ and you became saved, who and what did you become?
Iwa: I became saved. I became a child of God. I became born again.
Bolu: That’s who you are. That’s the truth. Anything else is a lie.
Iwa: I know that. What I’m referring to is my soul, my will, mind and emotions. My soul is being renewed. It’s a process. I have to live in this world through my soul.
Funsọ: Yes, you do. But we’re saying live declaring who you are spiritually. Not you were spiritually.
Iwa: I don’t think you get it. Or maybe, I’m not expressing myself clearly. When I got saved, my spirit was reborn. However my body and soul were not. Paul said in Romans that I should offer my body to God and renew my mind. I am doing that. The challenge is the evil in my past. I have not reached the point where I can say that the evil and its effect have no negative impact on my present, and maybe future.
Ire: The spirit is stronger than the soul. So your godly spirit should be able to rule the ungodliness in your soul. That’s why the Holy Spirit lives in your spirit.
Iwa: How do you attend to the affairs of this world without utilizing your soul? It’s impossible. I mean, I’m walking down the road, I smell a familiar scent, and that’s it, I’m having transference. My aunt talks to me, and I walk down regret lane. It’s like a battle to get through the day without sinking down to feelings of worthlessness.
Ire: Now I see why you love your church. You all support each other in feelings of misery and false humility under the guise of crucifying your flesh. You’re practicing unbelief.
“I see what’s happening.” I put in. “Iwa, when those feelings come, you cast them down. You’re wallowing in them as if they have a right to be with you.”
Iwa: They do have a right. None of you grew up without knowing your true parents. None of you…
Dēbhōrah: If I may interrupt you for a second. I grew up without knowing my father. The uncle that raped me was one of my mother’s clients.
Iwa: That’s true, I forgot your mother was a commercial sex worker. But at least you knew your mother. I have no biological link.
“So?” I asked. “Are you less a human being?”
Iwa: I feel like one Derbrah, I feel less than.
“It’s a choice to feel Iwa.” I replied lovingly. “It’s also a choice to reject ungodly feelings. The soul does not dominate the spirit, that’s improper order. The spirit dominates the soul.”
Funsọ: Feelings are fickle anyway. You can’t build your life on them.
Bolu: Women always fall for that satanic trick. We like to feel, and as we’re feeling, we’re sinking. Feelings can take a hike.
Iwa: How do I deal with memories of people, I don’t even know or recognize?
Ire: By faith. You walk in faith. Iwa, you’ve been through a lot of trauma. Let that be the catalyst for you to keep the faith, not give it up. God is still God and at the name of Jesus every knee must bow.
Dēbhōrah: Derbrah, may we hear your write-up now?
I read the following from my script;
His Grace for my Race
I picked up the phone and muttered, “Hello.”
“Is this Ms ...?”
“Yes it is.”
“My mother found your purse at …”
The short dialogue continued and I scribbled the address on an envelope. I told my boys to follow me and out of the door we went.
It was Sunday evening. I had tried to get some milk but on getting to the store it was closed. I was just two minutes late. Oh well, off to the next store. I was already physically tired. I wanted to soak in the tub, listen to my Christian music and write poems. I’ll probably have a hot cup of something; tea, cocoa, honey in water, milk, apple cider, or whatever concoction I can mix up. I had left home just in time to make church and could not stop to buy milk, even though we had used the last in the morning. I knew my kids would want their milk/cereal before going to bed. That’s their favorite supper. Dinner’s before seven o’clock but there has to be milk or milk and cereal before going to bed. It’s become ritual more or less.
I don’t know what I was thinking but after my sons got in the car, I forgot to pick up my purse. It wasn’t until I got to the second store, parked and reached to the passenger side to take my purse that I discovered my absentmindedness. The realization made me wince.
“Heavenly Father in the name of the Lord Jesus,” I prayed, “I ask that I get my purse back. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer.” Then I turned to the Devil, “I bind you concerning my purse in Jesus name.” Declaring God’s provision, I continued, “Because I am a faithful tither, the devourer is rebuked on my behalf. The devourer shall not destroy the fruits of my ground nor shall my vine cast her fruit in the field.” I encouraged myself in the Lord like Prophet David. I remembered when I had forgotten to pick up some of my groceries from the same store. A good honest person had returned my groceries to the customer service area. I didn’t even pray in faith on that occasion. I just checked in hope. Hopefully the same thing would happen. My purse would be returned.
Well, the purse was not returned. The customer service unit had no records and the parking lot attendants couldn’t find it in the other carts. The reality dawned on me. My purse was gone. My sons were still wondering what happened. Why didn’t we go shopping? One of my sons reminded me of milk as I drove home. He didn’t know that there was more than milk at stake here. All my documents were in that purse. I explained to him what had happened. I became even more tired both physically and psychologically. I tried to cling to the hope that I would find my purse intact, but my faith was weakening. Who should I call first? The police or the banks.
The voice of condemnation was already sounding. The adversary had formed accusing words. Self-pity, the destructive emotion was welling up. “If only you had been properly taught in Nigeria?” Satan began, “If only you had not been deceived to marry a liar? If only you had known how to test the spirits before wasting your precious resources. Not only are you an overworked single parent, you’re having stress-related amnesia which may lead to losing some of the money that was already insufficient. You’re doing the work of the driver, cook, nanny, cleaner and breadwinner while the culprit, your ex is snoring in bed. You are such a fine example of a Christian aren’t you? …”
I began to pray in the spirit. As Apostle Jude exhorted, praying in the Holy Spirit builds up faith. My strength was rising again. I got home and opened my front door. As my family stepped in, as if it was timed, the phone rang. I hope it’s not one of those phone marketers. The last thing I need now is someone trying to sell me something I don’t need.
Well, it was God’s grace, God’s undeserved favor being extended to me again. Not only did I get my purse back that evening, I also made a new friend. I don’t think it was my steadfastness in faith. I believe I shipwrecked my faith on the drive home the minute I began to consider who to report to first. Thank God for God the Holy Spirit. I perceived that it was the short prayer in tongues that buffered me. It certainly wasn’t my confidence in the manifestation. But then, isn’t that just like God? He strengthens the weak, heals the sick, provides for the needy, and makes the sad, salubrious. As Emissary Paul said, His grace is made perfect in our weakness. I was affirmed again of God’s mercy and grace. As God declared in Jeremiah 9: 23-4, I boast of His grace. The race of my life, I run, in His grace which is more than sufficient for me.
Bolu: Beautiful. Thanks for sharing that.
Funsọ: What a blessing. I used to forget my house key. I locked myself out of the house so many times that I had to give my neighbor a copy of my key.
Ire: I lock my car keys in the car.
Iwa: I forgot my purse in the bathroom once. Thank God it was still there when I remembered ten minutes later.
“God’s grace is great.” I replied. “I still have feelings of edification every time I remember His goodness.”
Dēbhōrah: I want to read that Jeremiah passage.
She brought out her bible (a comparative bible with four versions) and read Jeremiah 9: 23-24 in the four different versions. “Thank you for sharing Derbrah.” Dēbhōrah said as she highlighted the verses. “Who said we cannot boast in the Lord?”
“My thoughts exactly.” I responded. “Who said we cannot glory in our God?”
Ire: Let who said shut up.
We all laughed.
Iwa: Brọda … Ẹ ka bọ sa. (Brother … welcome sir).
We all turned to see who she was referring to. He came over, greeted us all then went to a different table.
Ire: That’s her church’s prayer coordinator. See him drooling over me like a dog.
Iwa: Ire, that’s rude. Please stop it!
Ire: Next time he smiles at me like that, I’ll tell him off. No more Mr. nice guy.
Iwa: You’re just imagining things.
Funsọ: Maybe not. He did pay Ire more attention than us all.
Iwa: Hmm. How do you know when a man wants more than friendship? I’m new in this thing.
Ire: See how your date with Goke goes tonight and you’ll find out. Say Iwa, let me make you up.
Iwa: No way. I’m not going to become like you.
Bolu: You just have fun my dear. You are naturally beautiful. Who said women are not pretty without make-up?
Ire: Who said? I said.
Iwa: When I see it in the bible, I’ll believe it.
We all laughed. I remembered 1 Peter 5:10.
Derbrah writes courtesy of Agape for All Ministries. Author retains copyright.
Jadesọla’s restaurant is a drama ministry of the Yoruba Christian Women (YCW), an international faith-based non-governmental, not-for-profit organization. Similarity of names and stories are coincidental. Feel free to copy for non-commercial use. Commercial use requires permission. For more information on YCW write Jesutoyin Ajikẹ-King (toyinking@yahoo.com).
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Posted by Robot| 27.10.2007 08:40