I had just newly arrived in the country, and I needed to get a job so I could start a new life in my newly adopted country, but before I could say Jack Robinson trials became my baptism. It slowly ate up my self confidence. It was my spoken English, suddenly it had become a major issue, as if constantly being the odd black one out in a sea of white faces wasn’t enough, crossing the border of English language had become mission impossible, if it was colour alone maybe I would have considered a Michael Jackson face lift, but this was spoken language, a surgical replacement of my tongue would have been enough.

But, desperately I now needed my English to cross the border. I needed to start calling this place home I had decided; the affectation had to come effortlessly, there had to be a touch of sophistication in my spoken English to enable me hit the big time and it had to be for real. I came here for the Canadian dream; it was almost becoming a nightmare. I knew I had to spend the rest of my life here, I had run from Nigeria because of malaria, and I wasn’t sure the folks back home would eradicate malaria in my lifetime, so I wasn’t going back soon.

Later this month, I would be finishing my courses in spoken language; I had employed teachers that taught me the subtleties of expressions in the language, folks have worked with me on my journey to cross the border, and gradually the results are beginning to pay of, when I am at a bar people say I find it easier to order, when I am at an eatery I have no problems choosing the menu, neither is it a problem when I am at Starbucks and ordering that coffee,  but they really can’t place the  African accent anymore, I don’t have to repeat myself several times. But, when I tell them I am from Nigeria, you must be joking they say, you speak even better than the British!

Folks, when is your English going to cross the border? I am curious because it has become a challenge for many Africans, talented, smart and with degrees that count like a thermometer. I met Chibiagozi in one of my adult classes, she worked in one of the oil multi-nationals before she moved over here, she made a kill in Port Harcourt she claims, a tall well bred and beautiful damsel, she is ebony rich, and fully fitted in all the right places, but her one weakness is her English is yet to cross the border.

Adey Wapa is another effizy brother. He says he is of noble birth, but anytime he pronounces chewing gum, I have to correct him. It is always a very awkward moment, when I tell him, Adey you can do better, it is not shewing gum, but chewing gum. It gets worse when we are at Christian Fellowships. He burns with a lot of passion for the Lord, but his many quips are lost on the audience, but when is Wapa’s English going to cross the border?

Chibiagozi and Adey Wapa mirror the frustration of some Nigerians moving overseas just like me. We are among the increasing number of Nigerians that are part of the immigrant community in Canada that are having problems fully integrating into the society where effortless spoken English is required. I am told English may not be necessary in years to come though since the world is gradually Chinese, the production going on in China they say has helped populate the world with basic commodities in the western world, I am being told it will soon be the next killer language that would further enrich our experience, the massive shift to international languages is taking place in business schools.

But before this massive shift takes place, when is the quality of my everyday experience going to get better. Moving overseas presents its challenges; there are many folks like me  that seek the rich experience of a multicultural society - the diversity of the culture, unlike the people that have narrowed their options to informal economies and live and breed  in ethnic enclaves across major cities in North America.

But, there is hope if you are willing to try – It is the good news I bring to the village.

There is the need to challenge ourselves; you can tune up your spoken English if you care and if you make the effort. I was discussing the issue with a friend recently, but basically it has been hard getting through to him.

Etim has made so much effort to get a lucrative job, but each time he keeps getting turned down at interviews. He has loads of them. He is doing pretty well by all measures, but he is more qualified than most of his colleagues, he is the go to guy when you are stuck at his office. But, Etim’s English is yet to cross the border. He spent a week at my pad recently; I remember an earlier morning conversation when he called to follow up on one of his interviews. I had been worried a bit about him, and I decided to listen on this one call, the lady he spoke with told him categorically he did well in every aspect of the interview, but they had problems about his spoken English.

I remember asking Etim, man mi wetin happen, wetin those folks talk? As if I knew what was coming, Etim told me, they are bloody racists you know, but when I inquire further he still wouldn’t tell me the reason why he was refused the job. He witnessed my speech lessons, early in the mornings when I woke and was busy listening to my DVD over and over again and straining hard to pronounce some words in the correct manner. He finds it funny, and ego wouldn’t let him. I have suggested immersion courses for him. He left a message that he had something important to talk about on my answering machine yesterday, and my instincts tell me he might be slowly coming around.

Folks, let us cut the crap, when you are in Rome you behave like the Romans. Let us polish up our acts, let us try and be better at everything we do. This life is one experience we may never have another opportunity. It is important we cross that border, so that finally when God calls we know we have run a good race, what is life after all if we can do a complete make over. It is about making yourself competitive, it is not only working on those pectorals, neither is it working on those abs, you can also work on the tongue so your English can finally cross the border.

I bet you if you stick with my advice, you might have no need for going back home, if there is nothing else left for you back there. Life is worth living to the fullest out here. The baby steps can start with your struggles to make your English cross the border.

Postscript: The summer is fully booked for me; it might be my spoken English might be paying dividends. I will be on the golf course for most of my time off in the summer, and I will be keenly learning the other new ways afresh.

Deola Ndanusa deola.ndanusa@gmail.com

Robot  # 1 | 08.04.2007 01:59

My spoken English had become a major issue, as if constantly being the odd black one out in a sea...Read the full article.

UglyMan  # 2 | 08.04.2007 08:56

I detect a mixture of satire, caricature, comedy, and fifty percent seriousness in the tone and letter of your write-up. I enjoyed reading it, having lived, schooled, and romanced damsels, in Toronto and Ottawa a while back. Canadians are just like Americans culturally and socially, except that they have less hectic lifestyle, operate in slow motions, and they pronounce the letter “R” in every word. I have two questions, though: First, is it really the English of the Nigerian immigrant that needs to cross the border? I would think that, knowing what I know about Canadians’ own lack of proficiency in proper standard English, that it is the accent of the immigrant Nigerian, not his English (that is grammar) that needs to make the leap. The Nigerian almost always knows the proper English words and sentences but his pronunciation, that is his accent, gets in the way. Some ignorant natives then mistake his accent problems for grammar problems. Second, have you not discovered, especially among the white Canadian girls, that your accent (at least mine when I was schooling there) is a prized, cherished, and sought-after conversational possession. It is the only possession you have that no one can steal from you. Have you noticed that many Canadians think your Nigerian accent is British (“you speak with a British accent. You speak better English than the British”)? Therefore, I would, as you said in your write-up, attempt to cross the border, but also ensure that the accent is preserved somewhere so that I could retrieve it when I need it for bragging and boasting and wooing girls. Man, you brought back memories for me. Those were the good old days. UglyMan.

No Smoking  # 3 | 08.04.2007 10:16

Shoo, dis Uglyman sef. So na laik dat di Canadian baby dem jus' dey fall for you, eh?? But as you come tiok say: "Those were the good old days", abi tori don grow bow-leg???.. :rolleyes:

UglyMan  # 4 | 08.04.2007 12:29

=No Smoking;166819>Shoo, dis Uglyman sef. So na laik dat di Canadian baby dem jus' dey fall for you, eh?? But as you come tiok say: "Those were the good old days", abi tori don grow bow-leg???.. :rolleyes: That time I dey fine no be small. But now I dey ugly pass Obasanjo.

emj  # 5 | 08.04.2007 13:25

Deola welcome to North-Pole, very soon dem go ask you to change ya eating habits. Nice article there for people who are serious about integrating. By the way have you heard/listened to Asian Immigrants of recent? Do you understand or was able to make sense of what they are trying to say? Uglyman, na wah for you, there is beauty in dis ya ugly Avatar you know......Obj is hansdome in his own way you know:)

DaBishop  # 6 | 08.04.2007 16:04

Here the ajebotas have it. I was speaking to a JJC lawyer newly arrived from Naija and in trying to immerse into the culture, she chose the wrong side of the tracks to copy...if you do not yet know, maybe more immersion would do you good. Educated Nigerians already speak near perfect English or the REP or Queens English. The problem is the accent. Some in trying for the American, do pick up on Ebonics and think it is mainstream American. Rules - 1. Whatever you do, no double negatives 2. No unnecessary slurs 3. Make every effort to pronounce your consonants (esp at the end of the syllables) and you will be fine. 4. Watch Oyibo movies with business story-lines and pick up some from there... 5. Please do not dress like you came out of the hood, they do not have respect for those... if you want a good job...They won't tell you that, but it counts to look like a wannabe among them (until you get what you need) khakis and polos are fine in the corporate setting...not sagging baggies. Suits? If you are a guy, stay away from zoot suits...and those green, yellow and orange colored shirts...except you are an actor. Just ma 2 pence..

No Smoking  # 7 | 08.04.2007 16:10

=emj>Uglyman, na wah for you, there is beauty in dis ya ugly Avatar you know...... Abi, as in Nok Culture or Benin Carving.. :rolleyes:

emj  # 8 | 08.04.2007 16:15

=No Smoking;166894>Abi, as in Nok Culture or Benin Carving.. :rolleyes: Yep ,right on da button:eek: :biggrin: http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-55307/Nigeria

Omowa2  # 9 | 08.04.2007 22:50

Hey sir, Can you give me an example of 'No unnecessary slurs' I have been accused by children who can speak correctly that I sometimes slur..Me? This country has knives for immigrants. I cannot recall how many days I feel like staying at home omowa2

Dimaanu  # 10 | 08.04.2007 23:27

=Omowa2;166962>Hey sir, Can you give me an example of 'No unnecessary slurs' I have been accused by children who can speak correctly that I sometimes slur..Me? This country has knives for immigrants. I cannot recall how many days I feel like staying at home omowa2 :lol: :lol: Stay at home? why? Because of children that should bite their tongue before speaking to an adult:lol: Are you a teacher? I know a Middle school teacher from Naija who "forced" her students to accept and respect her. The first day she opened her mouth in the classroom, her students started banging on their desks until the principal rushed to the scene. Reason: she has an "accent". She refused to quit and the authorities did not wish to be accused of discrimination, so they kept her. She has become one of their favorite teachers.:)

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