Finding a title for this piece was not so difficult. The challenge was ensuring that from the very beginning no one mistook the article for a biblical exhortation as in “Ranti omo eniti iwon nse”. (This is Yoruba for “Remember whose child (son) you are.”) That was the classical Sunday Sermon favoured by late Mr. Talabi (Baba) Esubiyi erstwhile teacher, Vice Principal and Icon of the famous Igbobi College Yaba for 39 years (1936 – 1975. He admonished us to remember that we were both children of God and of our natural parents and that that double heritage was one to be cherished and nurtured. A noble theme indeed, but no, this is not an epiphany of that sort although God help me, I wish it were.

I am focussing instead on the wonderful advance in the field of Medical Science in the area of Genetic research. It has been documented and the procedure is easily available in Nigeria now that makes It possible to tell from DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) samples, the true paternity of a child with over 95% certainty. There are also tests to confirm the Mother, Grandparents, Uncles and Aunts, Siblings and twin Zygosity (whateverrr!). Not only is the test widely available at the major Commercial Medical Laboratories but it is now the topic ‘du jour’. This writer has been present at a forum where a former Health Commissioner in the State of Excellence held forth exhaustively on the topic. That in itself is expected, and is not unusual for an expert discourse. What was unusual to the onlooker was the vehemence and passion with which he spoke about, “another person’s child being given to you as yours”. One wondered at the origin of his badly hidden angst. Was he holding forth from an acquaintance’s experience or was it a shoe pinching testimony? Your guess is as good as mine!

The main aim of my writing this piece is to point out something that might have escaped us all. It is the fact that this new discovery, made available to the common man by way of proliferation of advanced technology is replicating the chaos that came with the Mobile phone revolution with advanced honours. What chaos you may ask, came with Mobile telephony? Forget the fact that the whole of Nigeria no longer needs to go and queue up at NITEL Offices to make local calls, or wait two hours to have your name paged to make an International call at the then NET House on Marina. With the arrival of the Mobile phone revolution also came the ability to send SMS, short messages that have completely revolutionized communication. You can unobtrusively send and receive text messages at a Board meeting without anyone at the table being any the wiser as long as your phone is in ‘silent’ mode. With this advent also came the syndrome entitled ‘Textual intercourse’. This is a situation where would-be or existing lovers exchange flirtatious or romantic text messages, some bordering on the erotic. This has completely revolutionized the art of the romantic chase.

What is germane here is that it is the discovery of such text messages by their ‘Significant Other’ that has highlighted the impact that Mobile telephony has made on relationships and marriages. One cannot begin to tell you the number of marriages that have been threatened or even broken down because of discovery of these text messages. All you have to do is open some of the Soft sell magazines being sold in Lagos to read how this Music Star or that Screen actresses ‘sexcapades’ were revealed by a carelessly undeleted text message. Even our Bonny Prince Charles of England is not left out with his ‘Chameleonic’ desire to transmute into a tampon. But that was then, now they have no cause for alarm (Apologies Femi Kuti).

In the past, a man’s peccadilloes (Pun intended) may not be revealed to his wife until the moment his earthly vessel was to be interred, by which time it would be too late for him to face the medicine. At the critical point of the Coffin being lowered into the grave, a hitherto hidden ‘spouse’ would hurl herself at it in ironic mirror imagery of the anguish of the known wife on the other side, of the grave. Meanwhile miniature male and female versions of the deceased sobbed away behind her, dressed in the family’s exclusive ‘Aso Ebi’, courtesy of a brother/sister ‘in the know’. These days, the mobile Phone is the tattletale that reveals ‘that which Baba was not supposed to hear’ to quote a Yoruba aphorism. We are facing an extinction of the graveside ‘denouement’. Men are confronted with the wages of their sin here and now and no longer just in the hereafter. Someone really ought to do a study of the sociological impact of mobile phones on the marital culture of Nigeria.

Moving on from Mobile Telephony, one of the other ways men found out before the advances in DNA research that they had been cuckolded was when a child would fall ill in early infancy. On examination he/she would manifest signs and test positive for some congenital disease or trait like Sickle Cell Anaemia when the supposed father is medically proven not to be a carrier of the gene. Albinism works slightly differently but can still be confirmed or excluded. The Divorce Court has also played its part in revealing the true paternity of children in a custody battle. Let’s talk in undertones about the celebrated case of a former Vice President. He testified in Court that he had merely been a ‘sperm donor’ in the divorce proceedings in which he had been cited as co-respondent and adulterer. Another Case was that of a now late Senate President who eventually married his lady love after siring several of her children while she was still married to someone else.

Despite all these examples, discovery was more of an exception than a norm. Who knows how many dynasties have been ‘sustained’ by ‘dashed’ children? All these will however pale into insignificance if DNA testing becomes widespread. Forget the mobile phone as a revelator, the DNA test is a potential annihilator of relationships/marriages/families/dynasties of the highest order. One example that readily comes to mind was the Pandora’s Box that was unleashed when the MKO Abiola descendants went through DNA testing. The purpose was to identify those truly sired by the great man and therefore were entitled to share in his Estate. The results were truly scandalous with a 20 – 30% attrition rate. Another example is that of the celebrated Musician son of a late Afrobeat legend who has had his progeny from his ‘Baby Mamas’ reduced by 50% from the number he believed he had before he sent them for DNA testing.

Just imagine a situation where numerous Nigerians take up the offer now being touted in an advert on a Cyber -News Omnibus, Nigeria2DayOnline, “Know the true father of your children” and avoid “training and paying for the Education of another man’s child”. Can you conceive of the chaos (bad pun) that such would bring? There would be utter bedlam and the repercussions would be widespread! It takes a certain kind of cold-bloodedness to foist another man’s child on your husband for life! But it has been done, many times in the past. An in-depth study of the psychology behind the deception would be an interesting read also. Where are the psycho-analysts?

To end this on an upbeat note, there is still some humour to be found in this situation in the popular truism that clearly explains the difference between the two words Belief’ and ‘Knowledge. ‘Knowledge’ is what you have without any doubt, that you are your mother’s child. It is indisputable that you came from her womb. ‘Belief’ however, is defined as your father being told by your mother that he is the father of the child. Only she knows the identity for sure, everyone else just believes what she says! That’s clear isn’t it? Until the discovery of DNA testing and its easy availability, we have never doubted that the man pointed to as our father is truly the one ‘who dunnit’. But today, DNA research can prove otherwise. It could even narrow down the ‘State of Origin’ issue and make nonsense of the ‘Shon of the Shoil’ politricks that holds sway in the political firmament today! Some day the fear of DNA Testing may actually supplant the fear of HIV Testing in the society.

So, coming back to the title of my piece, WHOSE ‘SON’ ART THOU - REALLY? Are you sure you want to know?

Robot  # 1 | 30.10.2009 03:09

...Read the full article.

M. Akosa  # 2 | 30.10.2009 13:38

Count 1, I would like the Nigerian people to take up the issues of paternity seriously. It is a big hidden secret, usually swept under the carpet, used as a means of blackmail by the disgruntled and bitter parties in that society As we all know that one day, one day the hunter can easily become the hunted. Now, bastardization is something that has been consistently utilized by so many Nigerian men, regardless of ethnic origins or socio economic backgrounds, just to spite women, who are careless or too trusting enough to have babies with the wrong type of men. Little did they know, that also some clever women will utilize their illegitimate children, as a means to financially secured existence, even if true happiness eludes those women in their later relationships or marriages. By quickly moving on in life, never looking back again at the unworthy biological fathers or glorified sperm donors, or getting caught up in a destructive intimate relationship with a coward, who can't even rightfully claim his own son or daughter, let alone be kind, man enough or generous to adopt others and extend goodwill. What goes around comes around, eh....

Count1  # 3 | 31.10.2009 02:48

=M. Akosa;401059>Count 1, I would like the Nigerian people to take up the issues of paternity seriously. It is a big hidden secret, usually swept under the carpet, used as a means of blackmail by the disgruntled and bitter parties in that society As we all know that one day, one day the hunter can easily become the hunted. Now, bastardization is something that has been consistently utilized by so many Nigerian men, regardless of ethnic origins or socio economic backgrounds, just to spite women, who are careless or too trusting enough to have babies with the wrong type of men. Little did they know, that also some clever women will utilize their illegitimate children, as a means to financially secured existence, even if true happiness eludes those women in their later relationships or marriages. By quickly moving on in life, never looking back again at the unworthy biological fathers or glorified sperm donors, or getting caught up in a destructive intimate relationship with a coward, who can't even rightfully claim his own son or daughter, let alone be kind, man enough or generous to adopt others and extend goodwill. What goes around comes around, eh.... M. Akosa, those are very powerful sub- themes you just introduced - Illegitimacy (Bastardization) and single parenthood (female) stigmatization. As far as I know, the Law was recently reviewed to expunge illegitimacy in the inheritance Law of Nigeria. There is no Bastard before the Law. As for men who deny paternity of children, that is now in the past isn't it. There's nothing that can be done about single motherhood though. Bachelors without previous children would not want to marry a woman with a "trailer' hitched on. Relations would harangue any man that wants to legitimize a woman that is, 'after one', after two, or 'after three'. BTW, this matter of being generous to adopt others and extend goodwill is stretched too far in the US. I posted this article in my class Group and one of my mates in the US told us about a man who went to Court to ask the judge to free him from Child support payments after a DNA test showed that the 8 year old was not his child. The Judge ruled that he must continue paying to avoid the child being deprived of necessities of life. Is that fair? Should the act of continuance not be left to the man's volition? I personally would not cast away a child after having nurtured nurtured that child to that age. The DNA ceases to matter. But that's a personal preference. Not everyone is like that. The Count The Count

M. Akosa  # 4 | 31.10.2009 11:07

=Count1;401176>M. Akosa, those are very powerful sub- themes you just introduced - Illegitimacy (Bastardization) and single parenthood (female) stigmatization. As far as I know, the Law was recently reviewed to expunge illegitimacy in the inheritance Law of Nigeria. There is no Bastard before the Law. As for men who deny paternity of children, that is now in the past isn't it. There's nothing that can be done about single motherhood though. Bachelors without previous children would not want to marry a woman with a "trailer' hitched on. Relations would harangue any man that wants to legitimize a woman that is, 'after one', after two, or 'after three'. BTW, this matter of being generous to adopt others and extend goodwill is stretched too far in the US. I posted this article in my class Group and one of my mates in the US told us about a man who went to Court to ask the judge to free him from Child support payments after a DNA test showed that the 8 year old was not his child. The Judge ruled that he must continue paying to avoid the child being deprived of necessities of life. Is that fair? Should the act of continuance not be left to the man's volition? I personally would not cast away a child after having nurtured nurtured that child to that age. The DNA ceases to matter. But that's a personal preference. Not everyone is like that. The Count The Count The Oga Count 1, That brings us to the common sense logic, if you (a man) capable enough to have sex, then you are also good enough to bear responsibilities. Voila` Too bad. For the man in that situation. Of course the best interest of the child is always the priority. An innocent child must never be deprived.

emj  # 5 | 31.10.2009 13:53

Interesting header u've got here da Count...whose son art thou? There might be some instances where even the mother cannot tell...cos she does not know either. And as to stigmatization...i know of some very good men who inspite of all the warts still got hitched eyeswideopen to a lady with 18wheeler(more than one child from previous).:eek: I've also heard of some very hilarious stories..one which is as follows..... Alhaji kazai(not real name) is a one wife man....married to this lady who is a beautiful lady. Madam decided to carry her zhara(offering) pass moshalashi one day by harassing the hell out of him. Complaining about not taking more interest in the future of the children by agreeing to certain plans she has for them. It's always something like.......our children o, our children o..till Alhaji decided to shake her a bit one day....and said, Fide....look here woman....what do u think i yam? A zombie abi suegbe? Which children? U mean your children? You had better te slow fun emi ara e/take it easy or i will open book for u now. But Fide was on the roll, harassing him further.....he then dropped the cluster bomb.....told her of how he's gone in for the procedure that makes it absolutely impossible for him to father any child. And how he goes in for checks every now and then. And the real reason why he took the decision...which has more to do with a genetic disorder blah blah blah........needless to say, she fainted. He allowed her to wake up, and told her never to bother him unnecessary. He cares for the children like his own and will continue to....:p There are men out there who dont really care too much about all this DNA. And there are those who want to know that they are the real father of a child(biological).

Count1  # 6 | 01.11.2009 15:42

=emj;401274>Interesting header u've got here da Count...whose son art thou? There might be some instances where even the mother cannot tell...cos she does not know either. And as to stigmatization...i know of some very good men who inspite of all the warts still got hitched eyeswideopen to a lady with 18wheeler(more than one child from previous).:eek: I've also heard of some very hilarious stories..one which is as follows..... Alhaji kazai(not real name) is a one wife man....married to this lady who is a beautiful lady. Madam decided to carry her zhara(offering) pass moshalashi one day by harassing the hell out of him. Complaining about not taking more interest in the future of the children by agreeing to certain plans she has for them. It's always something like.......our children o, our children o..till Alhaji decided to shake her a bit one day....and said, Fide....look here woman....what do u think i yam? A zombie abi suegbe? Which children? U mean your children? You had better te slow fun emi ara e/take it easy or i will open book for u now. But Fide was on the roll, harassing him further.....he then dropped the cluster bomb.....told her of how he's gone in for the procedure that makes it absolutely impossible for him to father any child. And how he goes in for checks every now and then. And the real reason why he took the decision...which has more to do with a genetic disorder blah blah blah........needless to say, she fainted. He allowed her to wake up, and told her never to bother him unnecessary. He cares for the children like his own and will continue to....:p There are men out there who dont really care too much about all this DNA. And there are those who want to know that they are the real father of a child(biological). Countess Emj, I generally feel that men who do not worry about DNA because they love the child anyway should be separated from men who hide behind their wives' obvious perniciousness to feign fertility. While it's not a crime and such men have my sympathy, us Africans are still in the habit of judging a Man's virility in every ramification of that word by his fecundity. (Ifs a new month let me break grammar on your head with your kind permission Countess). Happy new month Conquistadora The Count

emj  # 7 | 01.11.2009 15:54

=Count1;401462>Countess Emj, I generally feel that men who do not worry about DNA because they love the child anyway should be separated from men who hide behind their wives' obvious perniciousness to feign fertility. While it's not a crime and such men have my sympathy, us Africans are still in the habit of judging a Man's virility in every ramification of that word by his fecundity. (Its a new month let me break grammar on your head with your kind permission Countess). Happy new month Conquistadora The Count Your vocabularity is well noted and accepted...Happy new moon...da only Count;)