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Reading the above article titled: “Abortion Is A Sacrifice Satan” written by Okechukwu Peter Nwobu and published in nigeriavillagesquare.com on 9th August, 2008, makes an interesting reading. I agree mostly with what he said, though I do not want to go spiritual as to whose sacrifice abortion was for. However, where I feel that the author, and in fact most people that write about this topic fail to address is the issue of prevention, in this case, contraception.
To be clear I am of the Catholic faith. I was born a catholic and by His grace, I will die a catholic and I make no apologies for professing my faith. Having taking that monkey off my back; I will now go ahead to discuss the issue which my faith forbids, which is contraception. The Catholic Church forbids abortion and personally, I am opposed to killing of any kind. Abortion no matter how anybody views it is murder. Killing of a human being, to me is murder. I do not want to go through the legal rigmarole and the legal personality of a fetus. Some believe that it is not a human being while some believe it is. That is not the essence of this discourse. Whether we believe it or not, you do not have to share my faith or to even be a Christian to feel that there is something wrong here. Even before the advent of Christianity in Africa, our forefathers knew that taking the life of another in whatever form, is an abomination, and calls for ‘ikpu alu’-cleansing of the abomination.
So if most people view abortion as murder or killing of a human being, why then do we shy away from trying to prevent a situation that will lead to a situation where killing of the innocent human beings becomes an option? I love my Christian faith forever, but I still do not understand why the Catholic Church outlaws abortion on one hand and then on the other hand, is against every form of contraceptive or sex education. It made no sense to me when I was young, and it still does not make sense to me now. It is like someone being against killing of mosquitoes, and then turns back and cry about contacting malaria. If you do not eradicate mosquitoes, you must get bouts of malaria.
Whether we fail to understand that the world has changed or not, we are in the computer age. I am not even talking about developed country. Even in the remotest villages, kids are getting more inquisitive and assertive these days. We are in the period of sexual revolution, whether people believe it or not. It may be the sign of the end, I do not know. But this is the situation we found ourselves in. With the age of internet, movies and pop culture, there is no way we can run away from the fact that we need to do something to prevent unwanted pregnancies that lead to abortions. The old adage says that if you are digging and find yourself inside a whole, you stop digging.
Many people argue that it is wrong to teach their kids about sex. Some people think that sex education is coterminous with teaching them how to have sex. It is a wrong assumption. Parents need to do a better job of teaching their kids about what action beget what consequences. In igbo we say “onye nyuo nsi ka o na-aga ahia, o nata ozute ijiji”-if one defecates on his way to the market, on his way back flies will welcome him. If we fail to prepare our teenage kids about what the consequences of pre-marital sex, then we should not blame them for the ignorance. We have to teach them right and wrong. You have to do your own part and leave the rest to God. Do not assume that teaching them about life is exposing them to promiscuity. Whatever you say to them, they would still do what they want to do. It only takes the grace of God.
I am a firm believer of abstinence as my faith taught me. Medically, psychologically and morally speaking, this is the best way to prevent not only unwanted pregnancy but venereal diseases including the most dreaded of them called AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). The mantra is that “If you do not have sex, you do not get pregnant or contact venereal disease”. Some parents drum this into the head of their kids. Back in the days when I was in the final year of my University, I met a girl. Though we remained good friends, we never took our friendship to the next level. It was later in life that she explained her fears then to me. She opened up and told me what I could never have thought was possible. Her mother warned her that if a man ‘touches’ her, she would be pregnant. She grew up with that message in her head and was ruled by it, that even a kiss would make her pregnant. Even though at the time, she was considered a big girl, but she knew next to nothing about sexuality. She concluded that if she didn’t have sex, she would not get pregnant. She did not know anything about ovulation cycle or how it worked. She knew everything about most issues at the time, but was so dumb about man and woman issues. It was too complicated to her since she had a bottom-line: no sex, no pregnancy. It was way after her graduation that she knew what was going on. But hers was an exception. There are other girls that threw overboard whatever was told to her by their mothers about sex.
Many people like her grow up everyday very ignorant of their body and how it works. In this day and age, teens want to experiment. No matter what you tell them, and no matter how strict you are, they will get their information from their peer groups or through the internet or movies and pop music. Whether you want to talk to them about sex or not, somebody else would do the job for you. May be in the manner you will not like, but someone else will do it for you. We have to be close to our kids, be open to them and be ready to tackle the most difficult issue of sex. If they hear the truth from you, it will help to clear all kinds of doubts and suspicions from their mind. What worked in the time of our fathers does not work now. Morality was a virtue during their time. Now things are different. I could remember the first day my big sister visited my uncle at
Onitsha in the early eighties wearing a pair of jean trouser bought for her by my elder brother that just came back from the States. My uncle had a fit! You could then imagine how my mother felt when my sister came home to visit my parents in the village. But now even in interior villages, girls wearing trousers is just as normal as if it involves their male counterparts. Time has changed.
I am not saying that we should buy them condoms or contraceptives or teach them the graphics about sex. What I am saying is that we have to not only stress abstinence and the virtue of sex after marriage, but also we should not shy away from teaching them about how to protect themselves. It is good to teach them that their bodies are the
temple
of God and urge teach them the virtue of morality. However, abstinence sounds good to the ear, but how many people can do without sex? With the youthful blood running in their veins, I doubt it if most young men and women could ‘hold their fire’ until after marriage. Contraception should be at the last resort. It should be the exception and not the rule. Teaching our teens about contraception is not teaching them sexual immorality.
On the contrary, if you do not teach them about contraception, how are you going to tackle the issue of when they become pregnant or get a girl pregnant? If you do not teach them prevention, how are you going to deal with the resultant contraction of HIV/AIDS or other venereal diseases? If you do not let them know about prevention, how is your economic situation going to fare if they bring kids in the world which neither you nor them are prepared for taking into cognizance the economic realities of our time? If they are ignorant of the consequences of unprotected sex, how are they going to progress in life knowing that their own lives is tied up now with the arrival of a baby they are neither physically, psychologically financially prepared to cater for? If you keep them in the dark about sexuality, how will you feel if as young teens, they die during child births? And how are you going to deal with the dilemma of choosing between abortion, adoption and having to keep the baby and go through what it takes to raise a child you are unprepared for? Then you have to live with that guilt for the rest of your life.
I have an uncle who was professor in one of Nigerian Universities in 1989. He and his wife are devout Catholics and contraception was out of the question. They were practicing Billings Method successfully for over 20 years of marriage. However, it failed them once! The wife at the time was approaching 50 years of age. Their last child at the time was already 12 years old and in Secondary School. When she was told by her doctor that she was pregnant, it was like a huge joke. She never believed that it was possible considering her age and the fact that they have practiced natural family planning for years. The doctor advised them that for her health, abortion was the only option! Moreover, chances were that the baby would be abnormal when delivered taking into consideration her age. It was devastating news to them. But being anti-abortion due to their faith, they decided to risk it. It was the toughest decision they have faced in their entire life. Finally, when the baby was delivered, they found out that he had “Down Syndrome”. They named him ‘Chinedu’-God directs me. They had to live with the problem that comes with having to raise a new baby with special needs. Chinedu is now about 20 years old, but they still care for her as a baby. He is a cross which they had carried for almost 20 years now, but if they had used protection, Chinedu would not have been born in the first place and they would have been saved from all these. Moreover they would not have been faced with fighting with their conscience and trying to weigh what the world wants and what their conscience told them was right.
It is wrong for people to equate sex education to sexual permissiveness. They are not the same thing. We have to face reality and stop pretending. It is the holier-than-thou people that do worse. AIDS is real. Even grown men and women are guilty of this. Many people are not necessarily against contraception because of their religious belief, but they hate using condoms because they are not ‘natural’. They rather enjoy the pleasure of ‘flesh to flesh’ despite the already known consequences. Then who do you blame?
Abortion is a crime in
Nigeria . It is criminal under the relevant Criminal Code and Penal Code, but does it stop abortion in
Nigeria ? Every chemist in every corner performs abortion in
Nigeria even though it is a crime. That is the truth. I have seen people that die out of abortions that were carried out by these chemists. Some develop complications that occasion their wombs being removed by specialist doctors to save their lives. This happens every time. This would have been avoided with a better job of stressing contraception.
We should stress the dangers and the ills of abortion, but we should not stop there. Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, killing of any kind is wrong. Why do we speak forcefully and so passionately against abortion as killing of human being, but not forcefully against killing of already born kids? Why do we shout ‘blue murder’ against abortion but are not forceful enough against wars that destroy innocent children. Why should we denounce abortion but we are ready to send teenagers to die in senseless wars be it in
Liberia ,
Sierra Leone or
Iraq ? Many people of the world speak out forcefully against abortion, but are not speaking out in like manner against hunger and starvation, AIDS and other diseases that have killed millions of children all over the world. It is like saying “if you are killed in your mother’s womb, it is an abomination. But if you are killed outside the womb, it is ok.”
I think that the Catholic Church should as a matter of urgency lift this ban on contraceptives. This hard-line posture by the church and other religious groups never worked and would never work now or in the future. We should preach anti-abortion, but at the same time, we have to push contraception as the way to reduce the scourge of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted and unprepared for pregnancies and poverty. We should stress abstinence and adoption without forgetting the old saying “prevention is better than cure”.
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Posted by Robot| 13.08.2008 22:16