Success is simply Overrated
Bennie Droese

At the end of “Do you consider yourself successful?” Sabella Abidde asks, “But really: what is success?”  A question that definitely captured my interest; yet, left me scratching my head!  Some of the commentary that followed did very little to alleviate my itch. And just like “Curious George” I ventured off into cyberspace to poll members of a private online group (mostly Americans) with “How do you define success?”

While numerous aspects of our customs-African and Western- set us apart like night and day, one must wonder however, if there are common grounds without boundaries in the way we generally rationalize about certain human- interest issues.  When it comes to how we define success, are there Americans who share similar perspectives with us? Or, are Africans; specifically Nigerians, the only people on this planet that are equipped with a designer yardstick, which measures success in terms of material possessions, educational background and socio-economic status? If you would kindly allow me to share my findings, in turn, I promise you a conclusion that makes common horse sense, even to a preschooler!

 “Being successful means more than a high paying job to me,” said Rebca, a 46-year-old wife and mother. “So many people associate success with having lots of money.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say, "Go out and get rich and be happy". Rebca, had to give up her career in broadcasting years ago due to personal reasons and state of affairs that were beyond her control. “If you're happy and content in whatever situation you find yourself, that's success.  If not, and you improve your circumstances so that you become happier, that's success.” Rebca currently works as the Assistant Office Manager for a small town masonry company in Oxford, Mississippi. “I don't have a dime to my name but I consider myself a success.” She added. 

Hmmmmmmmmm…Now let’s analyze some of what this grandmother to be, is reeeeeeeeeally saying…

·        “I don’t have a dime to my name but I consider myself a success.”

 I sincerely applaud her humility but doubt that you’d ever hear such words spewing out of the mouth of the most modest or religious of any proper Nigerian man or woman.  Am I right or have I totally lost it? Strike one!

·        “Being successful means more than a high paying job to me.”

Not to a Nigerian!  Strike two!! As far as most of us are concerned, that high paying job we spent four years of college drooling about is the alpha and the omega.  That high paying job is why that Nigerian Engineer was able to write a 20% down payment check for that four bedroom pool home in the suburbs he’s about to close on.  That high paying job is most definitely the reason there’s a brand new BMW parked in his driveway. And if you’re one of his neighbors, better get used to the constant in and out drives. Not even a flat tire could put the brakes on his compulsive need to parade his newly acquired toy to all his colleagues!

A member, who preferred to be called Ladymars, said, "Perhaps, being successful is arriving at the time in your life when you have grown into being the person you want to be.”   Head scratch! What person exactly would that be?  Was she going somewhere with this blend of new age philosophy and Woodstock? Is there a Nigerian flower child out there that could shed some light on this?  Could that person she’s referring to possibly bear some semblance to that newly self-proclaimed Nigerian Chief who gets offended when other Nigerians salute him by his first name?

If you’ve ever had to wait in a lengthy queue all day long at the American embassy in Nigeria, I have another good one for you.  One member commented, “Success is realizing that the road you took to get there, was the best part of the process..." Yep, I’m sure those words of wisdom were exactly what my nephew needed to hear at a time when he tried to claw his way out of some refugee camp in Europe with no money for food or a bath soap. Maybe it was the same road that lured Tochi Amara with promises of a bright light at the end of the tunnel but left him dangling with a noose around his neck! How about the beaten path that allegedly led Mr. Maurice Iwu from Cameroun to University of Bradford? Strike three!!!

I’ve had the opportunity to browse a few self-help books such as “The success principles” by Jack Canfield, “Over the top” by Zig Ziglar, “ How to win friends and influence others” by Dale Carnegie” and “A kick in the seat of the pants” by Roger von Oech.”  And had never really given the word “success” a second thought. In my humble opinion, success is simply overrated and I stand 119.6 pounds behind it!   Now, if there’s a point to running a race that measures a person’s successes by the achievements of others…I’ll rethink my stance!

We could blame our culture or society for distorting our views of success.  We could point our fingers at our peers or families for the relentless pressure to achieve, achieve and achieve.  However, we must never loose sight of the fact that “we all, as individuals, have our own unique set of talents. Recognizing them and cultivating them instead of focusing on what others are doing with their set of talents, is to me, the true measure of success,” said a 45-year old Graphic Artist who works from his home based office.  And I couldn’t agree with him more.

An aspiring freelance writer may define success as seeing his article in print for the first time, rather than the monetary compensation.  To an uninspired painter, it may mean the final brush strokes to that elusive masterpiece he'd been struggling with.  A morbidly obese woman, who hadn't seen beyond her belly button in years, might tell you that it's the ability to finally tie her own shoes. I would like to use this opportunity to challenge our youngsters; potential leaders of tomorrow to always set goals- any goal, regardless of how trivial it may seem to others. And remember this… the moment you ACHIEVE that GOAL, hold your head up high; pat yourself on the back if you prefer because that mis hermanos y hermanas (my brothers and sisters in Spanish) is the true meaning of SUCCESS! If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think success ought to be in the eye of the achiever!

P.S. Doctor Seuss once said, “Be who you are, say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter; and those who matter don’t mind.” It’s YOUR LIFE!

Robot  Villager

# 1 At the end of “Do you consider yourself successful?” Sabella Abidde asks, “But rea...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 30.01.2007 12:01

Shoko Loko Bangoshe  Villager

# 2 Interesting article, Bennie. You say this: I would like to use this opportunity to challenge our youngsters; potential leaders of tomorrow to always set goals- any goal, regardless of how trivial it may seem to others. And I agree that meeting a set goal is an important part of the 'success' event - but I don't agree that it should just be any goal. I believe that for success to matter, there not only has to be a real chance of failure, but there also has to be a cost of that failure (whether it's loss of money or a feeling of disappointment and sadness). So the goal has to be challenging enough that the would-be successful person needs to exert himself to prevent that chance of failure becoming a reality. Posted by Shoko Loko Bangoshe| 30.01.2007 15:16