I will like to start this piece with a small interesting joke. Sometimes last week, While browsing the internet, I just found my self on the website of Second Division of Nigeria Army (www.Nigerianarmy.net/divisions/2.div) The names and army registration numbers of the division’s past GOCs were listed on the page .The first GOC Late Murtala Mohammed’s number is 189, Gen Muhammadu Buhari 308, Joshua Dongorayo 649 and Patrick Aziza 1893. It was not surprising to see that General Sanni Abacha’s registration number in Nigeria Army was 419. Is this a mistake or an accident? Surely, no other soldier deserves the number. That should be a great honor for him.

In the last two months, the issue of Babangida’s preparation for Aso rock has mellowed down. Some attributed it to the diversion of interest to the burning issue of Alamayesigba and others have ascribed it to the ongoing PDP conferences and conventions. The doubting Thomases have even associated it to the fact that there may not be any vacancy in the villa in May 2007.

The much rumored third term is what Nigerians want to believe even though the incumbent has recently said that his chicken at Otta farm are missing him and he is prepared to go back and feed them. Repeatedly, Fani-Kayode (Fani-Power junior) and Aunty Remi Oyo have used many occasions to say that they will all be out of jobs by May 29, 2007. Nigerians being what we are, we still refused to believe them. Nigerians are still used to the deception and lies characterized by the maladministration of Babangida and Abacha. I can re-echoed the Minna General’s saying that “In’sa Allah, this administration will not stay a day longer than necessary” while he actually meant the opposite. My prayer is that Baba will put the Thomases among us to shame by exiting in May 2007. Nigerians should realized that he did not need anyone to put him out of government in October 1^st 1979 when he had the military power and the youthful energy combined with the temptation to hang on to power.

I have strong conviction that Baba will leave the stage in 2007. Or how many Presidents do we want to make out of him? Apart from the chicken, pigs, turkey and cows, we the children are also missing him. Nigeria has taken too much of his life from the family and his business. We would like to have our father back at home. We can then resume our yearly barbeque party on every 1^st day of October at Otta in company of our favorite palm wine drinkers club. Having this in mind, why should I not start campaign for my favorite Presidential Candidate, Alhaji, Chief, Dr, General, Maradona Babangida? To start with, the profile of my candidates is well known to Nigerians. He has served this nation so poorly that he was forced to step aside in November 17^th 1993 .You will remember him as the leader who nearly led the country to another civil war.

He is the right candidate to lead us to the balkanization of the country. Think of his past achievements as stated below and cast your vote wisely:

1) He is law abiding and obedient to constituted authorities. Remember, he refused to appear before Oputa Panel.

2) Admirable and marvelous management of oil windfall resulting form Gulf war.

3) He is a distinguish officer who has never participated in any military coup (except for the exit of Gowon, Shagari, Buhari, Shonekan and probably Abacha).

4) Enviable human rights record ( please ask Gani Fawehinmi, Femi Falana, Late Tai Solarin, Beko Kuti, Fela etc)

5) He is a world class democrat who will annul the result of any world acclaimed free and fair presidential election.

6) He will convoke a Sovereign National Conference (with unlimited no go areas, govt appointed delegates). He will also organize political conferences and set up constitutional drafting committee. Nigerians will not see the result of the conferences and the draft constitution.

7) More cases of “Gloria Okon” will happen from Government circles.

8) Establishment of office of first lady, first son and first daughter. Better Life for whom?

9) He will surely assist us with more budget deficits and extra budgetary spending. He achieved this in the past.

10) He will return Nigeria to the era of un-controllable hyper inflation.

11) Proliferation of unviable banks and finance houses.

12) Return of very high interest rates.

13) Return of reckless government borrowing to heighten foreign and domestic debts.

14) IBB will re-establish his National Guard to torment and terrorize Nigerians. Gani Fawehinmi should be prepared.

15) More Nigerian soldiers will be sent to ECOMOG and other war zones that do not have direct impact on Nigerias.

16) More young, brilliant and promising officers will be lost in Ejigbo plane crashes

17) His administration will conduct public debate to decide if the country wants IMF loan or not. We will then do contrary to the resolution of the debate.

18) Establishment of parallel government departments like MAMSER, NDE, DIFRRI etc to achieve nothing.

19) Dariye, Balogun, Alamiayesigba, Wabara and others will be pardoned and presented with National Honors.

20) Corruption will be legalized and institutionalized. Nuhu Ribadu and his “useless” EFCC will be disbanded ASAP. A more active and credible EFCC will be set up under the command of Tafa Balogun.

21) Senators, Legislators, Council Chairmen and all political functionaries should be prepared for Ghana Must Go Nig Plc.

22) Our Obas, Obis, Obongs, Emirs and Chiefs will commenced their unpatriotic visits to Aso rock. Their brown envelopes will be upgraded to Ghana Must Go.

23) Nigerian’s image abroad will be lauded with the appointment of Joshua Dariye as Minister for Foreign Affairs, and DSP Alamiyesigba as Nigeria High Commissioner to England.

24) A tougher economic Policy like SAP will be implemented to punish commoners and put money in the leader’s pocket.

25) All higher institutions in the country will be closed down for one year with impunity. It happened in 1989/90. Ex Governor Mbajinumu of Anambra will help here as Minister for Education.

26) His communication minister will remind you that telephone is not for the poor. Where will you put your GSM?

27) Nigerians will return to spending three days at petrol stations.

28) The administration will turn the country to a political laboratory for all forms of ideologies: Triachy, Diarchy, Transition government, Two Government formed Parties, military governors and civilian deputies, ban and un-banned politicians.

29) Former President Sheu Shagari (Northwest), Dr Alex Ekueweme (SouthEast) and Dr Joseph Wayas (South-South) should work hard for him because one good turn deserves another.

30) Muhammadu Buhari should deliver northwest for him since he led the coup against his administration.

31) The North-Central should elect him because of Late. Mahman Vatsa. The two jolly friends joined the army the same day but only IBB returned to Minna alive.

32) The Mid westerners should vote for him if they really love Dele Giwa

33) The South westerners should vote for him because MKO Abiola was his best friend.

34) Katsinas must repay him for facilitating the untimely death of Yar Adua through collaboration with Abacha.

35) In'sa Allah, his loyal and close friends currently campaigning for him will be adequately rewarded with an Abiola treatment.

36) Dr, Senator, Chief, Arthur Nzeribe should start preparing. His Association for Better Nigeria will be required at the end of the day for “Mid-night Judgments”

Hang yourself and mortgage the future of your children by voting for my enviable candidate.

Robot  # 1 | 29.12.2005 15:15

"To start with, the profile of my candidates is well known to Nigerians. He has served this nation so poorly that he was forced to step aside in November 17th 1993 .You will remember him as the leader who nearly led the country to another civil war. He is the right candidate ...Read the full article.

Unregistered  # 2 | 29.12.2005 16:17

Nice try old chap but we have bigger fish to fry right now as we wait for your Baba to clear the air. You know 3rd term or quits is the game in town. Adedibu and other thugs are holding us to ransom and you are interested in a Babangida candidate? All these diversionary tactics will not work. Please take your Baba back to Otta as we don't want him. While the umpire is a candidate, no sensible person will waste his time running. Could this be another hack trying to divert the people's attention? Obasanjo's Largesse to the Media Written by Jonathan Elendu and Prince Charles Dickson Thursday, 29 December 2005 Last week there were unconfirmed reports that Pres. Olusegun Obasanjo’s Government had approved about three hundred and seventy-two million naira for disbursement to media executives in Nigeria. Through chats with sources at the Presidency and some media outfits, Elendureports.com can now confirm that, indeed, the Obasanjo Administration has continued to use money and other kinds of inducements on the media. Our reports indicate that journalist and presidential spokesperson, Remi Oyo, and Special Adviser to the President on Public Communication, Femi Fani-Kayode, are the arrowheads of this operation. While we have yet to confirm the monetary figure quoted earlier in this report, our sources at the Presidency insist that Pres. Olusegun Obasanjo personally approved this monetary gift to media executives. According to sources in Aso Rock, the bribing of the media is part of the Third Term Agenda campaign. Hence, stories that would portray the President’s unconstitutional bid for a third term in a negative light is now being 'watered down' or given positive slants in certain sections of the Nigerian media. There have been complaints by some journalists based in Abuja and Lagos that most of their stories concerning the President and his Administration are either not published or re-written to favor the President. Former professor and presidential adviser, Jerry Gana, was recently relieved of his appointment following uncomplimentary remarks on the Third Term Agenda by Bishop Onaiyekan of Abuja during a Christmas event. The Bishop had chided the President on his inordinate Third Term ambition. The President was in attendance and was piqued that Jerry Gana, who organized the event, did not foresee or forestall the attack on the President’s ambition. Surprisingly, the sack of Jerry Gana was barely mentioned in the Nigerian media. The last Guild of Editors meeting in Bauchi turned rowdy when they went into an inner caucus meeting. According to a source at the meeting, their elections were conducted very smoothly. After the elections the group went into a closed door meeting. It was at this point that the issue of government largesse, labeled as aid, was introduced. According to our sources, three groups emerged. The first group consisted of those who, allegedly, had collected money from the Presidency and were already living up to their side of the bargain. The second group, allegedly, were dissatisfied with what they were given and wanted proper accounting. The third group, led by some editors from the north, was completely opposed to the Third Term Agenda and wants nothing to do with it. The recent newsprint scarcity was the excuse used for giving money to the media executives. According to our sources, the media executives were told the Government was giving them money to cushion the effects of the economic hardships they may have suffered during the newsprint scarcity. They were told that this was aid from the Government, as well as their Christmas present. Recipients of this Government largesse were given this tongue in cheek excuse with a wink and a nod. Some newspaper editors have also resorted to blackmailing the Presidency. A recent story in Elendureports.com detailed the events that led to the resignation of Audu Ogbeh, former chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP). According to sources at the Presidency, an editor of a very popular newspaper was paid two million and five hundred thousand naira to stop him from re-publishing the Elendureports.com story in his newspaper. The newspaper, whose publisher is one of the most flamboyant people in the media, had no intentions of running our story. Yet, Presidential Adviser Andy Uba, brother to self-acclaimed godfather of Anambra politics, raised a voucher for the said two-and-a-half million naira in order to make payments to the editor. The Obasanjo Administration has also resorted to another kind of inducement to pressure journalists and media practitioners in Nigeria—the use of threat. In recent months, journalists, who have refused to dance to the Administration’s tunes, have been threatened by security operatives. There have also been threats of blackmail against journalists by some security operatives working at the behest of the Administration. These journalists do not report these encounters for fear of harm. An Abuja-based journalist told Elendureports.com, “We are back to the Abacha era. You don’t know who is in whose camp and you constantly have to watch your back!”

igwe  # 3 | 29.12.2005 16:18

"Hang yourself and mortgage the future of your children by voting for my enviable candidate." This might sound funny but it really is not at all funny. Faced with a choice between IBB and OBJ, we are having to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea! We pray to God to call these people to himself very soon because they need to be in his presence, not in Nigeria's political arena!!! To save us from these undertakers, we first have to get rid of the current INEC chairman who's hell bent on electronic rigging. Then credible candidates could emerge when they know their efforts will not be in vain. The struggle continues!

THE GREAT ONE  # 4 | 08.01.2006 16:52

Anybody but IBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!