Let's know your background

URE: I'm Ure and my maiden is Okezie. I woke up one day and decided to give myself a title, Queen, because I felt I was one. And that was how people started calling me Queen, nobody gave me the name. My Dad is late now, we lost him a few years ago. He was a medical doctor, practiced for over many years.  And he was also a politician as well.  He was a two-time minister of Culture and health in the Gowon's regime that was when Obasanjo was Minister for Finance. My mum is still in the East; I’d say she's a woman activist; she's very much involved in Abia   State government. I went to Federal   Government   College , Owerri after that I studied, Physics at University of Jos . After my Youth Service, I came down to Lagos to work at Diamond Bank that was when my banking career started. Diamond, Zenith, Plantinum now Bank PHB   to First Atlantic now First Inland. That was where I was before I resigned in the E-product division where we handled Flash Me Cash. I was already going to resign to do a professional course in   Personnel and Corporate Coaching at the Coaching   Academy in UK .  Coaching is a professional and self-developmental industry where you have things like counselling, mental training basically handling corporate coaching for companies and personnel coaching as well. In addition to that I was also doing my music but not to build a musical career. When I was in Jos, I used to sing with Panam Percy Paul, the renowned gospel singer. I’ve almost finished my album when I met my husband, Soul E but I wasn't singing because I wanted to build a career.

There were dissenting voices against your marriage back then, what is reaction to this?

URE: The way human beings are, anything that succeeds, they will identify with it. So when you want to do anything you don't do it based on what people think or say because that is what God wants you to do and what your spirit tells you to do.   If anything succeeds, they'd say, I know some how it will succeed and if it fails they say I knew it will fail, that is the way they are. We’ve never been people that take decisions based on what people think because people are not the ones to guide you; you move and they follow.

When did you two meet each other?

URE: We met in April last year and he said for eight months he had been seeing me in church. I didn't know who he was. He has been observing me for eight months and he didn't have the liver to come and ask me out and he didn't see me as someone he wanted to date from the very first day that he saw me. He said he came to church with his former manager and walked in and saw me then told him that's my wife. The manager was like   are you out of your mind, do you know that babe? You can’t date her talk less of marrying her.  If you do, I’ll kill a cow. That's why he's always telling them, he's waiting for the cow he promised him. On his part, it is something he had nurtured in his mind for a long time and that made him to always stare at me in church but I never noticed till a particular time; I just observed it and wondered who this guy that's always looking at me is.  Of course I didn't know who he was; I didn't know he was Soul E. The song Soul E Baba Dey Here was popular but then, people didn't know who sang it, likewise me, I didn't know who he was the one. Eventually I got to know that he was the one who was fond of staring at me. One day, we bumped into each other at the car park and I asked him, why he's always staring at me and that was how it all began. He took my number, I was very indifferent because he's the kind of person that would tell you what he wants but as at the time he made his intentions clear, he wasn't out to date he wanted a permanent relationship. And since I wasn't in any serious relationship at that time, I gave him a chance and that was what led to where we are now.

Did you consider his age at that time?

URE: No

Did he tell you?

URE: Well he added a few years to his age.

So you fancied this lady so much that you chose the church to make the move?

SOUL E: I've seen a lot of women because of the kind of job or profession I’m into here and outside the country.  Really I don't know what happened that particular day that I saw her.  It was on a Wednesday, she came to church late. It was her smile that actually caught my attention; I just said that was my wife- I didn't think about it. I didn't mince words about it, my brother was a witness. The guy, I featured in Soul E Baba Dey Here was there too when I said it. I thank God everything just worked perfectly well.

What took you eight months, you didn’t have the liver?

SOUL E: Whether liver or no liver, I made attempt to get her number from different people but they refused to give it to me, so I just 'locked up' and said well, I’ve said she's my wife.  I just knew that one day we'd bump into each other and it happened.

Were you not afraid that being a musician, there would sure be controversies around him?

URE: Funny enough, I didn't hear any controversy about him. When we met and he told me what he wanted, I agreed immediately. I didn't have to go and ask anybody about him neither did him, about me. Relationship and marriage is between two people it doesn't have anything to do with anybody.

Did he propose the first day?

URE: The way the relationship began, first of all, he sent me a text, "Can we be friends?" I replied, why not. He called and later said, “can we intimate?' I screamed-so fast. We are just meeting but it didn't deter me. When a man knows what he wants he'll get it. I didn't have any red light in my heart, I accepted him from inside. I didn't know much about him, I didn't need to know anything because that's the way I live my life. If I have the go ahead (from inside) I don't have to know about him.

As beautiful as you are, so many suitors would have come for your hand in marriage, I’m still wondering why Soul E? Why did you accept him?

URE: Like said, I look from inside of me, somebody can come now and say I like you and my spirit doesn't like the person from within. this is not about being religious or spiritual, somebody comes whether he has money or whatever, you take a look at him if he appeals to you, you go ahead, if he doesn't, you say no. These are very simple things; you don't need too much story about it. He asked me out, for goodness sake take a look at him (points to Soul E), he's good looking, tall, dark and handsome without talking about his behaviour or any other thing you'd want to identify with a good looking person, life is that simple.

What's his behaviour here?

URE: I’m saying general, just like you, the first thing that would attract you as a man is that this girl is pretty and then if I wasn't good looking, I mean he won't look at me. I walked into the church; I was looking good.  I was coming from work at the time I was in the Bank. If I weren’t looking good he wouldn't tap his brother and say this is my wife. It is not about looks, life is general very simple, they are things that appeals to people and that's the way God would work with you based on things that naturally appeals to you. That’s why both of us found each other appealing to each other and any two people can work out relationship and be happy regardless spiritual connection whatsoever.

Where you in any serious relationship before you met her?

SOUL E: I just left a relationship, then I met her, it was very fresh, I was just out of a relationship when I met her in church as in the first time I saw her in church.

What do you have to say about the reports that you are fond of dating older women?

SOUL E: I don't have anything to say about it, it is my life. I have always known that it would happen; I’m too big that's why I attract people that are older than me. I told my parents when I was growing up that I don't know- then, I had two serious relationships and all of them were older than me. I knew right from the scratch that I was going to end up with someone older than me.

What of maturity factor? Some guys like to date older women because they are not mature, is your case like that?

URE: Let me answer that, someone can be so mature that the people that you relate with are the people that think like you. You don't find those kinds of people even among your age mate.

Soul E: All the friends, I had from secondary school days to my polytechnic school days all the friends I had were all older than me. I’m talking about ages like 45, 50 and when I talk; they listen both male and female. When I talk they listen. I could remember in 1995, I called my mother and told her; I’ve a strong feeling that the person I’m going to end up with is going to be older than me.

Did your parents raise eyebrow at anytime concerning this union?

Soul E: My parents, of course they were in support of the relationship and marriage and also her parents.

URE: First, he didn't tell me he was going to introduce me to them as a wife. We were just three weeks in the relationship. I just thought we were visiting and he openly told them that I’m the person he wants to marry; of course, he's gone inside to talk to them. The first time his mum met me, she took a special liking for me-naturally. His father joked and said that he will ask Soul E if he loves me in the next 40 years and he replied that his answer will be yes. The mum said this is her first son and she has to pray concerning it.

Soul E: The first time I came to her house, her mum said in her language, who is this man wearing earring?' I just laughed and of course, the most beautiful thing a mother wants for her kids is happiness. She was excited about the relationship.

You are younger and she's older, we are wondering how you resolve minor differences?

SOUL E: We don't have arguments and we've not experience such. If she says something, I’d just say sweetheart I don't think that is necessary and she'd say let's do it this way, she'd just agree to it- we don't have any arguments.

URE: Like he said we don't have argument, maybe let me use this example, we want to go out and have lunch somewhere, he would want to go to A and I want to go to B, that's what he talking about. Sometimes we have divergent opinions concerning something we both love and respect each other. I respect him a lot and he respects me too. If the issue comes up, I’d yield to him and tell him and next time he'd yield to me.  That’s not argument it goes to show that we are different and we can have divergent opinions about things.

Who brings the bulk of the money for the upkeep? Is it you madam or you Soul E and do you have a joint account?

URE: I know many families have issues because of this. Some even sue for divorce because of financial matter. I think we are completely different because it really doesn't matter to us where the money is coming from. I don't know but that's just the way we are and that's why we do everything together. We have one account and all his account I’m a signatory to it and he's a signatory to mine then we have a joint account.

How romantic do you find her?

SOUL E: She is very romantic; in fact find her romantic everyday. Some people always wait for a particular time for their wives to be romantic but we are romantic from morning to night.

So you want or like the way they flock around him?

URE: It is just like wearing a good wrist watch, if people come and tell you this watch is nice... I mean you; you are wearing it because you want it to be admired. This is my husband and I value him more (not that I don't value him) when everybody wants to be around him and hailing him. And more so, he is an entertainer and in that industry, women make it tick. If women are not crazy about it then you are not doing it right. Sometimes he looks at me and bothers, 'you don't even fight about this' but the truth is we've never had any issue about any other woman since we got married and even met. No other woman has been an issue, not because they don't call or send him text messages but it has never been an issue because he has never given any other person any attention. It becomes a problem when he starts to do that with just one text message. If the phone rings anybody near the phone picks it up it with text messages. He reads my text and I also read his text messages. If the call is from his fans I give it to him and if the call is for business I handle it. He has not given any extra attention to another girl because we are always together, 24/7.

Is there any crazy thing you done for her?

SOUL E: Marrying her is even crazy. Yes, marrying someone that is 12 and a half  years older than me is honestly crazy.

URE: Truly, forget about he being a musician, people came to him and told him all kinds of things that were false. In the papers they would add so many years to my age, I’m older than him quite all right but just to blow the whole picture out of proportion they said so many things to sell their paper. Really for him to ignore all these things and marry me is a crazy thing.

We heard you were pregnant, is it true?

A: it was not true. Somebody saw me in the hospital, maybe the person used to know me then, because I used to be slim but the Queen Ure people know is plump but people who knew me thought I’ve added a lot of weight. That was how they assume that I was pregnant.

Robot  Villager

# 1 Let's know your background URE: I'm Ure and my maiden i...Read the full article. Posted by Robot| 30.06.2008 09:47

Dewdrops  Villager

# 2 =Robot;4295062880>Let's know your background URE: I'm Ure and my maiden i...Read the full article. Happiness is where you find it. Does not matter. To each his or her own! I wish them happy nuptials. Just wondering what their ages are since this story is about "marrying a younger" man. I wonder what the secret is? SOUL E: Marrying her is even crazy. Yes, marrying someone that is 12 and a half years older than me is honestly crazy. Wow! Posted by Dewdrops| 01.07.2008 00:25

Agidimolaja  Villager

# 3 I'm hearing this kind of amusing stuff for the first time.Hopefully I'm hearing it for the last time.This one pass me o,I beg! Love,they say is blind.Maybe so and this is probably a typical example. But for me,love no blind o. Anyway,one man's food is another man's poison. Goodluck though. Posted by Agidimolaja| 01.07.2008 01:48

morenike  Villager

# 4 The title should be; why i married an older woman, i didn't read anything in the interview about why she married a younger man. Anyway, they are happy together and that is all that matters. These kind of marriages are usually more successful than 'normal ones' because the couple try to put in extra effort to make it work and shame the busybodies. Posted by morenike| 01.07.2008 03:59

Soul Sista  Villager

# 5 =morenike;4295063357>The title should be; why i married an older woman, i didn't read anything in the interview about why she married a younger man. Anyway, they are happy together and that is all that matters. These kind of marriages are usually more successful than 'normal ones' because the couple try to put in extra effort to make it work and shame the busybodies. Morenike: Point! I was reading it eagerly, hoping to see something on why she married a younger man. Actually, I was hoping for something salacious and controversial like: a) she wants to control her man and a younger man is easier to control b) she likes them young, as in physically c) she is done with older men, that is so last year d) older men are s-h-i-t e) older men always want to control you and she believes in partnership, not control f) she is a woman in control of her on destiny and takes things whereever they may be found You get the drift? You know, I had my own scandalous story all made out in my head from reading the headline. And, the reporter just did not deliver. The headline is false and misleading to capture readers like me (who just want to read something controversial) and Agidimoloja (who refuse to surrender to the sweeping changes in relationship dynamics). Either way, it worked. Now, I have to try and interview them to get them to say something controversial and headline worthy.:D:D:D I don't even know why this is a story at all. I am glad that they are doing what they want to do. 50 year old men marry 10 year old girls in some parts of Nigeria, and a 12 year old difference is supposed to be news worthy? To each her/his own! Soul Sista a/k/a Soul Sizzling Posted by Soul Sista| 01.07.2008 08:16