The term pornocracy found its way into the dictionary owing to the influence courtesans wielded in the papal court in the earlier half of the 10th century. The influence was far more extensive and potent than any hetaerae had had on any sort of court before then and after. It was not exactly a matriarchy, the women did not rule categorically. The Pope and his cardinals and other male courtiers were still apparently the powers-that-be. But the women of the court, the courtesans, were definitely powers-behind-the-throne, they put whatever words the Pope or any man in the Pope’s court said into their mouths. What they had then was a dead-letter Pope, a putty Pope, a puppet-Pope tied to strings pulled by these worthy fancywomen. Really it was a big fantoccinni show in which a large number of women sat over a number of dignified, if not venerable, men, pulling the strings. This was the highpoint of the power women were to wield in the papal court, or even any court whatever, spiritual or temporal.

One remembers the story of Madame Pompadour, her influence in the French court of Louis XV. But Pompadour was only the king’s mistress en titre,  the chosen favourite-cum-fancywoman of the king. She was not exactly a courtesan, she gained her position not by virtue of being a professional courtesan, but as a politically ambitious woman who wanted to be seen – and was seen - as a significant figure in the court of Louis XV. She was as political as she was romantically ambitious, she shined her amatory blowtorch on the king and the king had been passionately burnt enough to take notice, so she was able to ease her way into the court and into becoming a woman of substance. Madame Pompadour was, though, not the sort of hetaerae who bestrode the papal court in the 10th century.

And there was Eva Peron. Caroline Otero, described as the last of the great courtesans. Or Cleopatra who had the attention of both Caesar and Mark Anthony. All of these women had one thing in common: they featured in courts with shades of influences on the men they consorted with. And of course there have been hundreds of leaders in history who have been dismissed as mere tails wagged by their bitchwives.

But if pornocracy were to be taken in a literal way one might be hard put to find the meaning of the term authenticated by pragmatism. Government by whores, by prostitutes. That is the ultimate definition of Pornocracy. This is perhaps the most impossible system of government that could be devised, far more impossible than Plato’s Republic, for philosophers who are kings are still few and far between. Just as prostitutes who are queens, or queens who are prostitutes, are not easily to be found. This might be why, among other reasons, in the secondary school Politics classes no teacher ever mentioned anything about pornocracy. How would he even begin to do it when the subject Reproduction in third form Biology class was always looked forward to with tickly anticipation and an unconscionable amount of chops-licking, the girl-students dissolving into coquettish giggles, the boys beset with silly simpers, the teacher himself gracious, knowing and articulate to the point of continually flashing his wisdom tooth. The teacher would have been just as keen to teach the nitty-gritty of the more incurrent pornocracy. But it will be either a sore oversight or unnecessary priggishness if this system of government is still not taught in schools today, if not in secondary schools, at the least in universities, in political science departments.

For the current political dispensation in Zimbi is pornocracy. Not just some women being power-behind-the-throne, but women in the position of power. And not just women, but courtesans. Harlots and Trollops. A thesaurus might call such women ‘the frail sisterhood,’ among other names. But then if they were so frail as we all think, or used to think, they wouldn’t have been able to take over power in a big country like Zimbi. Stereotypes, like comparisons, are odious. At least in a country which prides itself - or used to pride itself - on being the Colossus of Africa, trollops now hold the reins of power.

When a Zimbian writer and social commentator brought out the book entitled The Power of Female Anatomy, in spite of the truism inherent in the words, some had cried: What power does a woman possess? Women have no power. Some had quoted Mao, Power flows from the barrel of the gun. In other words, Power is male, masculine, in so far as men use the gun more than women do - and the barrel of the gun too. Power is phallic. The world is ruled by phallocracy.

The prostitutes who took over power in the country called Zimbi had not used the gun anyway. They had used champagne, wine, apple (and other fruits), dope, Indian films, Viagra and of course the business-ends of prostitutes. And the harlots had finessed power not from civilians but from soldiers, brass-hats and pompom-hats.

The head of the junta was a man notorious for his tyranny and systemized brutality. General Sanni Kwabacha had no qualms about sending his goons after anyone who so much as showed a wrinkle of opposition to his dictatorship. He had harried early death on dozens of men and women. At his pleasure a famous Zimbian writer and man of culture - Wawi Ken Sarrow - was hanged by the neck. The stratocrat ruled the land with his jackboot. He was vulpine and paranoid. He got arrested and locked up a lot of people, journalists, lawyers, lectures, writers, poets (for this was a man who would reach for his gun fast if he heard the word Culture). Even a former military head of state was also tried and imprisoned. The dictator had also set up his rubberstamp second-in-command, a General too. The junta leader had installed a secret camera in his Arabian-Nights lounge to record how his boneless, wimpish deputy went on his knees begging him to be spared of the death sentence. The video footage was shown to some Zimbi elders, an army General cringing before another General who was his classmate in Military Academy. Well, the weak-kneed General was not executed after all, his life was spared and he gladly became one of the many political detainees.

The trollops had however achieved what the chickenhearted General and other officers in his cabal could not achieve.

General Kwabacha was never known to be a philanderer. He was believed to be a devoted family man who loved his wife so much that he and the wife had made all of twelve children. He was not known to have used his position to become a lady-killer. But he was the only oasis of marital faithfulness and stability in the vastness of rank military immorality and lecherousness. Sex was one of the pastimes of the top soldiers, besides eating heavily-fricasseed peppersoup and drinking beer in Officers’ Messes. Pretty university girls were once a specialty but they became passé, or not so hot after a while. Now high-tone call-girls and prostitutes were in.

There was a particularly portly, pig-eyed General, who was also a state minister, and was said to have a gluttonous appetite for women, so much so that he would have no less than six in his bed at a time - a sextet, he liked to call it, never counting himself. His name is Nehemiah Hussein, nicknamed Saddam, not because he had acquired any reputation for brutality, but because of his swagger, swashbucklery, stout stature (and he drank Guinness Stout) and mustachio.

General Hussein was the Chief Minister of Zimbi City, the country’s capital, and for other reasons besides civic and political, he was very popular among the women of the city. Though the wife of the Head of the Junta, Hadjia Kwabacha, would rather her husband was not close to General Hussein, the ruler had found Hussein an inevitability. He was one of the most senior officers in the government, and was very influential in the army, far down to the rank and file. He was also a keen-eyed crusher of coups, a consummate praxist of esprit de corps.

Robot  # 1 | 13.05.2009 01:47

The prostitutes who took over power in the country called Zimbi had not used the gun anyway. They had used champagne, wine, apple (and other fruits), cocaine, Indian films, Viagra and of course the business-ends of prostitutes. The harlots had finessed power not from civilians but from soldiers, brass-hats and pompom-hats. The head of the junta was a man notorious for his tyranny and systemized brutality. General Sanni Kwabacha....Read the full article.